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Students Read With Family
ent. From Gore's class (pictured at left) readers were Trey Floyd.,
Kimberly Clifton, Jessica Hewett, Brandy Davis, Chanda Marlowe,
Morris Mitchell, D.CT.arp, Allison Martin, Lindsey Clemons,
Meredith Andrews, Melissa Loughery, Louise Sheffield, Brandon
Massey, Trey Milligan, Portia Gause, Austin Redwine, Baxter
Cheek, Graham Davis, Jast ? *Vi rd, Flo'ii* Gause, Cortni Hill and
Blaine Cully. From Brown 's class (pictured at right) readers were
Kyle Bulak, Ashley, Barnhill, Amelia Long, Bridget Biddle, Bonnie
Ansley, Erica Gore, Matthew Buchannan, Josh Stanley, Shaquana
Faunlteroy, Michelle Hewett and Amanda Morgan.
Thirty-three students in Susan Brown's and Selena Gore's fourth
grade classes at Union Elementary School recently volunteered to
participate in a week-long family reading program. Each student
was to read at least 15 minutes each night with a family member,
returning a reading record at the end of the week signed by a par
PEOPLE IN THE NEWS
Jcssica Ixa Benton of Mount Pis
gah Road. Supply, has been awarded
a Si. (XX) academic scholarship for
the fall semester at Western Carolina
Univcrsiiy in Cuiiowhce.
Benton is a WCU freshman ma
joring in elementary education She
is the daughter of David Benton and
Vickie Phelps and is a West Bruns
wick High School graduate
Western Scholarships arc awarded
to students who rank academically
among the top 10 to 15 percent of
their class They arc part of Western
Carolina's Chancellor's Scholarship
Program, which provides $300,000
in scholarship money annually to
academically talented students
In Who's Who
Dawn Marie Lewis of Winnabow
has been nomi
nated for the
tive year to
have her picture
Who j Who
She is a graduate of West Bruns
wick High School and is a freshman
at Mount Olive College. She is the
daughter of Lesler and Mary Alicc
She will be eligible to apply for a
SI. 000 scholarship from S125.0(X)
to be awarded this year
A Bolivia resident was among 3K
UNC-Wilmington students inducted
into the Phi Eta Sigma National
Honor Society on Oct. 1.
She is Denis'e Stidham. daughter
of Billy and Brcnda Stidham
The chapter at UNCW was estab
lished in 1979. It if the first national
honorary society that inducts its
members campus-widc from all dis
ciplines. To be eligible for member
ship, students must have completed
30 hours of classes with grades
equaling at least half A's and half
B's. Membership in in the society is
the highest academic honor awarded
for performance in the freshman yar
Following the induction, a ban
quet was held in honor of the new
Kim Pricc, a junior al West
Brunswick High School. has been
. Youth Council
? DC., in the
^ spring of 1995.
I The council cn
I rolls students
I on the basts of
P*K'E leadership po
tential and academic excellence.
She is the daughter of Troy and
Gail Price of Calabash
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Domestic Violence Awareness Month
Three distinct phases have been identified in the cycle of violence:
X* TENSION BUILDING-Minor battering occurs. The woman
wvuio. * 11C WUIIIUI1
usually tries to calm the batterer through nurturing, compliance, and either
anticipating every whim or staying out of the way. She resorts to denial and
rationalization and may think perhaps she deserves the abuse.
The batterer is aware, though may not admit, that the abusive behavior is
inappropriate. He understands too, that the abusive actions would not be tol
erated in public and therefore is probably not violent outside the home.
The woman usually withdraws from the batterer, fearing that she may in
advertently trigger an explosion. The batterer reacts by staying oppressively
close. Every move she makes is subject to misinterpretation. Tension between
the two becomes unbearable.
2. ACUTE BATTERING -Irrational behavior and major de
structiveness distinguish acute battering.
When the acute attack is over, both batterer and victim may find ways to
rationalize the seriousness of the abuse. If there has been physical violence,
the battered woman will often minimize the degree of her injuries. Most
women do not seek help just following the attack unless the injury is severe
enough to warrant immediate attention.
3. HONEYMOON PHASE -Follows immediately and brings
with it an unusual period of calm which is welcomed by both parties.
This is the stage when the woman is most likely to leave and yet the
abuser mounts an increasing campaign to persuade her to remain. In reality,
the chances of the abuser seeking viable help are minimal if the woman
stays. The batterer reminds the woman how much she is needed and insists
that some thing awful will happen if she leaves. She perceives her batterer as
frail, insecure, desperate, and alienated from society and often sees herself as
the key to her partner's emotional well-being. Many helpers of battered women become exasperated at this point since the woman usually drops
charges, backs down on separation or divorce and generally tries to patch things up until the next acute incident.
Predictors and Early Signs of Domestic Violence
From material published by the National Technical Assistance Center on Family Violence.
I. Does your partner have a negative self-image?
2 Did your partner grow up in a violent family?
Does your partner tend to use force or violence to "solve"
problems? Does your partner have a quick temper? Does
your partner overreact to little problems and frustrations
such as not finding a parking place or having a bad seat at
the movies? Cruelty to animals is a common behavior of
people who are cruel to women and children.
Does your partner have strong traditional ideas about the
role of men and women? Does your partner think that
women should stay at home, take care of their partners and
follow their wishes and orders? Does your partner act as
though women are second class citizens?
Is your partner jealous of you, of your friends and family?
Does your partner want to know where you are at all
6. Does your partner play with guns, knives, or other lethal in
struments? Does your partner talk of using them against
people or threaten to use them to "get even"?
7. Does your partner expect you to .follow orders or advice?
Does your partner become angry if you fail to anticipate
and/or fulfill your partner's wishes or desires?
8. Does your partner experience extreme "highs" and "lows"? Is
your partner extremely kind at one time and extremely cru
el at another time?
9. Are there occasions when you fear your partner? Do you find
that not making your partner angry has become a major
part of your life?
10. Does your partner treat you roughly? Hit you? Abuse dur
ing dating is a guarantee of abuse later. Do not think that
marriage or living together will change your partner.
Children's 5 Major Recurring Problems
1. Deeply ingrained feelings of low self-esteem
2. Basic mistrust towards self and others
3. Few social skills-feelings of isolation
4. Sense of helplessness-difficulty in making decisions or
5. Difficulty in acknowledging, identifying and disclosing
feelings such as anger, guilt and depression
50 to 70% of children who witness domestic vio
lence will grow up to batter or be battered.
63% of all prisoners in the United States between
the ages of 11 and 25 are in prison because they
killed their mother's batterer.
Myths Versus Facts
'The battering of women, like other crimes of violence against women, is shrouded in myths. All
the mistaken notion that the victim precipitates her own assault.'-Lenore Walker's, The Battered
Battering is a private, family
FACT: Battering is a criminal offense
MYTH: Battering affects only a small
percentage of women.
FACT: It ia estimated that one in sev
en women are battered. In fact, in this
country, every 15 seconds a woman is
MYTH: Battered women are maso
FACT There are many reasons why
women stay in abusive situations- fear
of further abuse, economic depen
dence, belief in love commitment to
marriage. Loving the pain inflicted on
them is not one of tne reasons they
MyTH: The battered woman deserves
to be beaten.
FACT: No one deserves to be beaten.
Either partner is capable of provoking
utter frustration or anger in the other,
but to suggest that anyone deserves to
be beatenby one with whom there is a
covenant relationship, is absurd. A
partner does not cause battering. The
batterer acts of self volition, conscious
ly and violently expressing rage upon
another human being.
MYTH: Police can protect the battered
FACT! Too often police dismiss com
plaints of the battering based on a de
sire not to interfere in another man's
home, belief that a female partner de
served what she got, overt homophobia
or fear of personal iruury in a domestic
dispute. Even well-informed police
who are willing to intervene are un
able to protect the battered woman if
they are not at the scene of the inci
dent as it occurs.
MYTH: Battered women are unedu
cated and have few job-skills.
FACT; Battered women can be found
among all socio-economic levels and in
MYTH: Once a battered woman, al
ways a battered woman.
FACT: Women who receive counsel
ing/supportive services are less likely
to accept abuse from their current
partner or to choose another abusive
MYTH: The batterer is never a loving
FACT: Sometimes the abusive partner
can be very loving and caring shower
ing the partner with affection.
MYTH: A batterer also beats the chil
FACT: Not necessarily. Even though
the children are not the intended vic
tims, they suffer emotional trauma
and often accidental injury caused by
abuse between the partners.
MYTH: Once a batterer, always a bat
FACT: With intervention, batterers
can discover their excessive needs for
power and control and learn more ap
MYTH: Batterers are unsuccessful
and lack resources to cope with the
FACT. The population of batterers
cuts across all professions and socio
MYTH: Batterers will cease their vio
lence when they get married or move
PACT Among women who reported
violence in their pre-marital relation
ships every one said that the rate of
abuse escalated after marriage.
MYTH: During a woman's pregnancy,
the abusive partner treats her with
tenderness and love.
FACT: The general view of our society
is that conception of a child strength
ens the love Dond. A batterer however,
very often begins violent attacks dur
ing the partner's first pregnancy. The
fear of losing her total attention and
love often provokes the insecure bat
terer to strike out against the "threat"
of a baby.
MYTH: Children need both parents,
even if one is violent.
FACT Women sometimes stay in a re
lationship even though it is violent "for
the sake of the children". The fact is
that children say they would rather
live with one parent than in a violent
home. If not separated from a violent
parent, children often repeat the ob
served behaviors in their own adult re
lationships thus perpetuating violence.
MYTH: Drinking or substance abuse
FACT: There is no clear evidence that
drinking causes violent attacks, al
though it is associated in more than
60% of documented incidents of physi
cal abuse. Drinking or substance
abuse does seem to reduce inhibitions
a batterer may have about using vio
lence and also allows the batterer
more excuses for initiating violent be
MYTH: Religious beliefs will prevent
FACT. Not necessarily. It is sometimes
true that religious convictions or strict
Biblical interpretation provide a ratio
nale for the violence.
MYTH: External factors that place
stress on a marriage, such as financial
of the myths have perpetuated
difficulties, moving, having a baby or
on- the-job problems, are what cause a
person to batter.
FACT Nearly every adult faces stress
ful situations at some time, but most
people deal with their problems with
out resorting to abusing a family mem
MYTH: A woman who is occasionally
slapped is in no danger of real harm,
because while the abuser may contin
ue to slap her, nothing worse will nec
FACT. A pattern of battering that goes
unchecked usually becomes do th more
frequent and more severe. A domestic
(>artner who begins by slapping is like
y to progress to more prolonged bat
tering episodes and often will eventu
ally begin using a weapon instead of
MYTH: The victims bring the batter
ing on themselves by provoking their
FACT A violent episode is often an ex
aggerated reaction to a minor aggrava
tion or something viewed as an "im
perfection" in performance or behav
ior; for instance, laundry left unfolded
or children who cry despite efforts to
MYTH: A woman who is battered can
end the violence from the abuser by
moving out of the home, by separating
from tne abuser.
FACT The violence often becomes
worse when the victim tries to escape
an abusive partner. The abuser may go
to great extremes to track her down
and continue to harass and beat her.
Legal restraints designed to protect
the victim are often ineffective.
A Unitad Way Agancy
24-HOUR CRISIS LINE
(910)7 54-5856 ( Collect C 'alls Accepted )
T?v HpHuntihlp Contributions May Re Made To
Hope Harbor Home, Inc.
PO Box 230, Supply, NC 28462
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