Page t-MIRROR HERALD-Tuesday, February 6, IflTB
Guest editorial
The chain letter
The unmarried marrieds
Not long ago a famous movie actor got a surprise. He had been living out of
wedlock with a certain woman for many years and finally tiring of her comptmy,
kicked her out of the house. The woman sued, claiming that she had been his de
facto wife and was therefore entitled to a handsome settlement. The court agreed
and the actor was ordered to pay up.
We don’t know If the decision will affect the popular custom these days of
dispensing with marriage vows prior to a couple’s setting up housekeeping. But
we would think It would give men, the primary beneficiaries of such
arrangements, reason to hesitate. ’The great thing for men about the "new
morality,” (which Is Identical to the old Immorality) Is that It enables them to
enjoy all the comforts of wedlock without being Inconvenienced by the attendant
responsibilities.
Life for tree-thinking bachelors has long been an oversold business. It la a life
filled with nights of loneliness simply because women frequently choose not to
remain on call. Also, when a brief affair has ended, the bachelor must then go to
the trouble of finding a new partner, and traditionally moat women have not been
satisfied to grant favors without some serious talk about the future.
But when "living together” became fashionable a few years ago, bachelorhood
became much more manageable. If a woman was willing to move In with the
man and was ostensibly as contemptuous of wedding bells as he, his problems
were solved. He had acquired the companionship and multiple services of a mate
without pledging In any legal way either the depth of his fidelity or the durability
at his affection.
Why so many women have agreed to such cohabitation, however. Is somewhat
puasllng. Partly, we suppose. It’s the reassurance offered by modem birth-
control methods, especially the pill and legal abortion. Partly It’s the naivete
that takes the form of blind trust In the male animal, her altogether un
derstandable credulousness when she contemplates his whispered words of love.
And partly, the arrangement can seem much more attractive than living alone
or with a female roommate.
But what happens when the man says one evening; "It’s been great, baby, but
I think It’s time for you to leave.” Or even more Interesting, when he tells her
wdiat a fellow In Washlngtm recently told his unwed mate of 11 years: “I don’t
know how to say this but I’ve met somebody else and we’re going to get
nmrried.” (’Diat unwed mate, by the way. Is now struggling back from a nervous
breakdown).
We decided to do a little empirical research on the subject and asked some
cohabiting women why they have consented to live for years with a man who
probably will never marry them. All the women questioned are Intelligent and,
as the kids say, “cool.”
’nie responses Included;
"Even If It ends at least I’ve had these great years with him.”
"We both retain our Independence and can leave any day — we don’t feel
trapped as nwrried people do.”
“Every day we voluntarily stay together proves our love.”
"Formal marriage Is a primitive Idea historically mandated by the church and
die state for their own purposes.”
Our next sentence, before we thought better of It, was going to begin: Putting
traditional morality aside . . .
But frankly we see no reason to put traditional morality aside, although we are
by no means certain our attitude represents the consensus these days. Almost all
cultures and religions, no matter how much they may disagree on other matters,
have regarded sexual intercourse as something deserving serious and sublime
regard, both because It is the Instrument of new life and because It Is the ultimate
act of human intimacy.
We have seen no evidence that that conviction has — suddenly, magically —
lost Its legitimacy.
But many people these days, especially those who came of age In the 1960’s,
and later, have comforted themselves with the notion of "situation morality.”
’Hiat convenient Idea permits each person to decide if his or her conduct is
morally right or morally wrong. And a startling number of liberal clergymen
have encouraged the trend, which makes one wonder If they are In the right line
of work. ’Their remarkably tolerant lesson Is that If an act doesn’t "hurt” anyone
else, then It’s okay. ’They have abandoned the concepts of essential good and
essential evil that are at the root of the Judeo-Chrlstian-Islamlc moral code. And
throwing that moral code out the window Is throwing out quite a package.
So we think men and women who live together though unmarried are self-
evidently behaving Immorally by all but the most recent pop standards. ’They are
engaging In behavior that has been rejected by society for dosens of centuries,
not only because It violates the deepest human sensibilities about physical love
but because It Is Impractical.
And It Is especially Impractical for the woman who, because of the love bur
ning In her heart (or for reasons less poetic) agrees to a living arrangement that
Is hugely convenient for her mate but Is of dubious long-range value to her. But
significantly, the arrangement may be of increasingly dubious value to the man,
too, now that a California court has decided — marriage license or not — she’s
your wife, buster. — DETROIT NEWS
Our womans editor got all shook up last
Friday.
She received a chain letter In the morning
mall.
"Now who In the world sent me that
thing?’’ she wondered aloud.
The letter starts off "’Trust In the Lord
with all your heart and he will acknowledge
by lighting the way.’’
"This document has been sent to you for
good luck. The original copy la from Easter
Island. It has been around the world nlro
times. The luck has been brought to you
(and) you are to receive good luck within
tour days of receiving this letter.”
Well, all of that sounds fins, but the letter
also warns "not to send money” and to get
rid of the letter within M hours.
Bad things have happened to people, ac
cording to the chain letter, who have broken
the chain. Boms guy named Don Elliott
received 180,000, but he lost It because he
broke the chain. Even worse, Oeneral Welsh
died six days aftsr receiving his letter. "He
failed to circumvent the prayer.”
But the general received $778,000 Just
before he kicked the bucket. At least he died
rich.
It appears that he (or she) who hath
continued paaslng the letter reapeth great
rewards. But. lo, he that hath cast the letter
asunder has soon found hie ownself plowed
under.
“What should I do with this letter?”
EUlsabeth asked.
“Throw it away,” I advised.
“I don’t know. It sounds threatening to
me.”
“Don't be foolish, woman,” I said, my best
chauvinism showing.
I have decided to prove once and for all
that these chain letters are stupid, foolish
and a waste of time and money. I threw lib's
letter away.
Now, If nothing bad happens to her In the
next week, then we will know Just how
ridiculous such chain letters are.
tune In meeting and marrying beautiful
women.
“If I had made 30 copies and sent them on,
wdio knows. I might have ended up with 80 or
40 beautiful wives,” he said.
Now Sonny Is a living example of how
breaking the chain can cause bad luck. Tou
see. Sonny has never been married.
Us married guys really feel sorry for
Sonny. Imagine, having to live life as he
pleases, coming and going whenever
whereever he pleases, not having to answer
to anyone If he stays out late.
I tell you It’s a rotten shame what Sonny
has to put up with.
TOM
MclIITYRe
Guest columnist
live
o'clock
By CHARLES H. DEAL
Most people are easy marks
for the some 50 organizations
poking into the recesses of their
private lives. Just asked for it,
you’ll whip out all sorts of pri
vate data on your life, informa
tion that’s freely traded bet
ween agencies with sometimes
frightening results.
of his business — or that of the
Tandy (3orp. — so tell him to
“make out the ticket to cash. ” If
he wants a first name, tell him
"Johnny.” But don’t give an ad
dress.
Lib said she mentioned her chain letter to
B. S. (Sonny) Peeler Jr. and that he com
mented about one he had received some
yean back.
“I didn't keep the letter,” he said, “but I
wish I had.”
Sonny said he didn’t remember the exact
wording In the chain letter, but that It was
something to the effect that people who did
not break the chain had had very good for-
Often the collection process
defies state or federal law. Put
ting together your private
background data is easy be
cause you oblige by scrambling
for a social security card,
driver’s license or else volun
teer your pay scale, place of
employment and the name of
your favorite banker.
If a store requires your
fingerprints and-or photograph
to prove your identification, tell
them to buzz off and put the
purchase back on the shelf. A
driver’s license or credit card is
enou^.
Federal and state agencies
are often first to break laws
written to protect privacy.
It’s bad enough for people to
sell your name for a bundle of
cash to be used on someone
else’s mailing list, an often oc
currence between magazines
and catalogs, but the practice
goes much deeper.
R€f\D€R DlRiLOGUe
Likes poets corner
When President (jerald Ford
came to Hickory on the cam
paign trial, only newspeople
who provided social security
numbers in a background check
were admitted in his presence.
Illegal.
Credit information is often
exchanged, including your
weekly salary. Some of Uie data
passed along may be inaccurate
and could result in your not get
ting a job or losing some benefit
K.t 1 you are entitled to.
To the editor.
In responae to the poem “Myself”, I find It
so true. Every person should be able to look
himself In the eye sind say "I am proud of
myself. I have done my best.” But so msuiy
people have no respect for themselves, much
less anyone else.
Certainly you csmnot hide from the things
you have done. So I am sure their conscience
bothers them.
I wanted you to know how much I enjoy
reading "Poets Comer.” This one touched
my heart and brought home truths. Keep
putting them In the paper.
BETTY B. HUGHES
Rt. 4, Box 831
tongs Mountain
Lenoir-Rhyne College uses
social security- numbers in
checking off students who eat in
the dining room. Illegal.
Correct facts may be taken
out of context and misinter
preted or used against you.
The American Red Cross at a
bloodmobile visit asks a social
security number of each donor.
Illegal. Simply answer they
have a choice of blood or the so
cial security number and the
request evaporates.
Even private business is
prone to poke for background
information. Buy a coil of solder
at Radio Shack and the smiling
salesman will write up the tic
ket. He always asks for your
name and address.- That’s none
The national privacy act has
stopped some of the abuses, but,^
as noted, often a national
agency is first to fracture the
law.
Social security cards are to be
used only for social security and
taxing purposes. It is permissa-
ble for the county to use these
numbers to separate two people
with the same or similar names.
But that doesn’t mean you are
required by law to furnish that
number.
Unless you mind your own
business—with some diligence
— someone else will.
We need to take more time for ourselves
MIRMKMIEilLD
ByBOBCAVm
Special To The Mirror-Herald
PUBLISHED EACH
TUESDAY AND THURSDAY
GARLAND ATKINS
Publisher
TOM MoINTYRE
Editor
ELIZABETH STEWART
Woman’s Editor
GARY STEWART
Spwts Editor
DARRELL AUSTIN
General Manager
CLYDE HILL
Advertislag Director
MEMBER OF
NORTH CAROUNA
PRESS ASSOCIATION
nie Mirror-Herald Is published by
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Drawer 753 Kings Mountain, N. C. 28(186.
Business and editorial offices are
located at 481 N, Pledmoot Ave. Phene
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cents. Subscription rates; 38.50 yearly
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tor nine months $6.34. u:.P3 931-040
Each morning for the past six years, Dr.
Pearl Berlin has left her Jamestown home
around 6 a. m. for a two-mUe Jog before
getting ready for work.
The 58-year-old professor In the School of
Health, Physical Education and Recreation
(HPER) at the University of North Carolina
at Greensboro calls her daUy run “my
mental reltutant.”
Dr. Berlin, as well as :many other women
who began Jogging for physical fitness, has
found that the mental benefits derived from
a dally exercise program of running to be
equal to the physical benefits.
“Jogging Is something I do totally for
myself,” she explained. “It keeps my mind
clear and It helps me cope with the problems
that pop up In everyday life.
“I’m not trying to make the Boston
Marathon,” she added. “I Jog because I
enjoy It and because It adds something to
everyday of my life.”
More women could discover the mental
and physical benefits of Jogging or any other
exercise program If they would only take the
time, according to Dr. Karen King, an
assistant professor of HPER at UNC-G.
"Last year, I had my health class take a
survey of 840 people to find out how many of
them got at least 18 minutes of exercise a
day,” she said. “Over 80 percent of the
people Interviewed said they did not, and the
reason most of them gave was that they Just
didn’t have time.
“.Tob pressure has becoming the
dominating thing In our lives," Dr. King
pointed out. “But we need to take time for
ourselves. 'Dme to get away from the stress
"Job pressure has become the dominating thing In our Uvea. But we need to take time
for ourselves. Time to get away from the stress of everyday work .. . That’s one of the
things I Uke best about Jogging - the time alone.” - Dr. Karen King, assistant professor,
UNC-G School of Health, Physical Education and Recreation.
of everyday work. Time to Just be alone.
TTiat’s one of the things I like best about
Jogging — the time alone.
“When I started Jogging last June, It was
easy to say 'I don't have to run today,’ but
now I take time because that 15 minutes Is
about the only time aU day long I have totally
to myself,” commented Dr. King, 88, who
runs an average of two mUes a day, six days
a week.
It’s Important to note that not all people
who Jog do It because they like It.
Take Jan Donahue, pl^slcal education
Instructor at UNC-G, for Instance. She began
running two mUes a day on her 80th birthday
last June. She admits that for her, '"Ihe only
good thing about Jogging Is getting finished.”
Why does she do It? "Jogging gives me a
sense of weU-belng and personal satisfac
tion,” she explained. “Everyone needs some
sports.
“UnUke swimming or team sports, you
don’t have special equipment beyond a good
pair of running shoes, you don’t have to
make plans with someone else, and ^jgglng
doesn’t take a lot of time to get good
results,” she explained.
Kaye Moody, 88, another Instructor of
HPER at UNC-G who runs between three to
six miles five times a week, added that
running can help women Improve their self-
image.
“On the whole, the average woman does
not get much exercise,” she said. “At one
time, our lives depended on our bodies, but
now most of us can’t even walk to the neigh
borhood store.
“Running could help women improve their
self-concept about their bodies and them
selves as a person.”
Unfortunately, many women who begin
Jogging In an effort to lose weight give up In
frustration when they not only don’t lose
weight from Jogging, but they gain extra
pounds.
“Running makes you hungry so you eat
more,” explained Dr. Berlin. "Jogilng can
be used to supplement a diet for weight-loss,
but the only way to lose weight la to eat less.
AJogglng alone Just won’t do It.
“However, Jogging Is good for firming up
flabby muscles and making you look trim
mer. But as far as losing weight Is concerned
dieting Is still the best way,” she said.
As In most exercise programs. It’s Im
portant to get off to a good start and that
means a trip to the doctor, according to Dr.
Berlin.
“Anyone who Is beginning any new
exercise program after being Inactive for a
long period of time should begin in a doctor’s
office,” she recommended. “A doctor can
give you a good Idea of Just how strenuous a
workout you can stand.
“When starting out a Jogging program. I
advocate a walk-run schedule," she said.
"For Instance, you might Jog 60 paces and
then wsdk 80. Gradually, ou will be able to
eliminate the walk altogether.
“The Important thing is not to start off
thinking you’ll Jog a mile everyday, or that
you’ll lose 60 pounds, or that It will be easy,” ff
Dr. Berlin warned. “Jogging is hard work at
first, but It does get easier as you get used to
It.”
Lung pain and fatigue are the two factors
that cause most women novices to quit
Jogging before they ever reaUy get sUrted, ^
according to Jane Nugent, a 83-year-old W
doctoral student In physical education at
UNC-G who runs between 88-88 miles a week.
“Many wo-nsn are Just not as active as
they should be and whan they begin Jogging
their bodies are not prepared for the stress
snd strain of running a long dlstanco,” she ^
pointed out. w
“So they start out trying to run a mile, and
a couple hundred yards down the road dthelr
lungs start burning and their legs start
hurting,” Miss Nugent said. “At that point,
many novices Just quit.
"If they wouldjust stick It out and get over (A
the Initial shock of getting started. Jogging ^
could open a whole new world tor them and
eliminate a lot of tension, stress and
frustration that build up from day to day,’
she added.
What’s your opinionf *
We want to hear your opinion on things of
Interest to you. Address aU correspondence
fnr this page to Reader Dialogue, Mirror-
Herald, P, O. Drawer 753, Kings Mountain.
N. C., 38066. Be sure and sign proper ns^me ^
and Include your address. Unsigned letters
will not be published.
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