The Charlotte
Vol. 31, No. 9
Tishrei-Cheshvan 5770
October 2009
An Affiliate of the Jewish Federation of Greater Chariotte
It’s Not Kosher to Do Nothing
Don H Ignore That ^^Funny** Feeling When One of Your Friends Acts Strangely
By Amy Krakovitz
She’s a good friend, a dear
friend. But sometimes she acts a
little odd. Sometimes she just
can’t get out to meet you.
Sometimes she doesn’t have any
money to spend. Sometimes she
wears too much makeup or her
sunglasses all the time.
Maybe she’s a little reticent to
talk about her life at home. Maybe
she’s a little overprotective of her
kids.
You get a “funny” feeling about
what’s going on at her house. But
... she’s Jewish! Her husband is
Jewish! How in the world could
there be anything wrong?
What you may not know is that
domestic violence strikes Jewish
homes in exactly the same propor
tions as any other community,
approximately 20%. The differ
ence in the statistics is that Jewish
women take two to three times
longer to change their situations.
So the fact is your friend may
not do anything to help herself.
But you can. How? You can leam
how on Sunday, November 1, at 7
PM in Lemer Center with Rabbi
David Rose, who is the Founder
and Director of JDiscover and
Chairman of the Jewish Women
International Clergy Task Force on
Domestic Abuse.
“Victims are more likely to
receive help from their network of
intimate friends and family than
any other source,” says Rabbi
Rose, quoting a result from a sur
vey of the 2004 Task Force of
Abuse in the Jewish community in
Chicago.
“People need to be sensitive to
the signs - not just one thing on its
own, but things adding up. Does
she need to check in all the time?
Does she have access to her own
money?” Rabbi Rose hopes that
the program on November 1 will
help everyone be more sensitive to
their friends and families.
“Jews are not immune to this
problem,” says Caroline Biber, a
counselor at Jewish Family
Services who specializes in
domestic abuse issues. “This
awareness program will help peo
ple become allies who will know
how to react and support possible
victims ... But it’s important to
realize that this is just as prevalent
in the Jewish community as any
place else and we have to confront
it.”
“The greatest problems the
community faces are those we
allow to be buried under the sur
face,” says Rabbi Murray Ezring
of Temple Israel. “Issues that
threaten people’s lives are the ones
that we must bring to light because
once we do, we can do what the
Torah commands and protect each
and every member of our commu
nity.”
It’s a Man’s Problem, Too
This isn’t just a woman’s prob
lem, according to Rabbi Rose.
“Eighty-five percent of the aggres
sors in domestic abuse situations
are men,” he says. “So it’s up to
non-abusive men to stand up and
be counted.”
Clergy Training
The day following the program
for the community. Rabbi Rose
will be conducting a seminar for
clergy.
“It is very important and very
Jewish that our houses of worship
be safe and comforting environ
ments for abused women. To
accomplish that goal, every person
working in the synagogue must be
aware of the potential of domestic
abuse within families.
“The clergy has the most
impact on women in abusive rela
tionships because it is to them that
most congregants turn for help,”
says Carol Sandler, who runs the
Shalom Bayit Support Group for
survivors of domestic abuse. “So
their knowledge of how to recog
nize, how to respond, how to
counsel, and where to refer abused
women is paramount.
“The upcoming clergy training
with Rabbi Rose will prepare our
compassionate Jewish profes
sionals to offer not only a clearer
understanding of domestic abuse,
but also the hope of a better out
come to survivors.”
Rabbi David Rose
The program. It’s Not Kosher
to Do Nothing, will take place in
Lemer Hall on Sunday, November
1 at 7 PM. Everyone in the com
munity is encouraged to attend,
particularly men, because no com
munity or group of people is
immune from this problem.
It’s Not Kosher to Do Nothing
has been funded by the Jewish
Federation of Greater Charlotte
and Temple Beth El. Jewish
Family Services and Shalom-
BayitNC are co-hosting the event.
The Shalom Bayit Support
Group for survivors of domestic
abuse meets weekly at a central,
undisclosed location. For more
information call the facilitators,
Carol at 704-609-3120, or Sally at
908-330-5623. ^
October 24 Evening to Honor Sam Bernstein Features UNC A Cappella
Group Sababa r
The Levine-Sklut Judaic
Library and Resource Center
invites you to an evening to honor
Sam Bernstein, founding chair of
the Levine-Sklut Judaic Library
and visionary leader of the
Charlotte Jewish community, on
Saturday, October 24, from 7:30-
9:30 PM in Gorelick Hall in the
Levine JCC. The popular UNC
Jewish a cappella group Sababa
will perform and a special dessert
reception will follow.
Sam, who is Vice-President and
General Merchandise Manager for
Family Dollar, is well known for
the many leadership roles he has
held in numerous organizations in
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Charlotte’s Jewish community.
His accomplishments include Past
President of Temple Israel, Past
Chair of the Consolidated High
School of Jewish Studies, Past
Chair of the Levine-Sklut Judaic
Library, and board member of the
Hebrew Cemetery Association. He
is currently on the boards of
Temple Israel, the LSJL, and is
Vice-President of the Jewish
Federation of Greater Charlotte.
Sam was instrumental in the cre
ation of the LSJL as plans were
being formulated for the expan-
Sababa
Sam Bernstein
sion of Shalom Park. His vision
led to the creation of the current
library in 2005, with its spacious
facility and extended services for
the entire community.
Sababa was founded in 2006 by
a group of UNC students interest
ed in sharing Jewish music with
the community. “Sababa” is an
Arab word meaning “cool” that
has made its way into Hebrew
slang. The group’s repertoire
ranges from religious music to
secular Jewish music to just good
ol’ a cappella.
The continued success of the
Library is one of Sam’s passions.
Please show your support for both
Sam and the Library by becoming
a donor for the event at one of the
following levels:
Nobel Laureate — $500 and up
Pulitzer Prize — $250 to $499
Publisher — $100 to $249
Editor — $50 to $99
Author — up to $49
To donate and have your name
included in the event program,
please contact Talli Dippold at 704
944-6780 or tdippold@shalom-
charlotte.org. ^