An Affiliate of the Jewish Federation
of Greater Charlotte
Vol. 37, No. 9
Tishrei-Cheshvan 5776
October 2015
JCRC Fall Lecture Featuring Ari Shavit Set for November 4
Ari Shavit
Please join us for the Jewish
Federation’s Community Rela
tions Couneil (JCRC) Annual Fall
Leeture on Wednesday, November
4 at 7 PM in the Sam Lemer Cen
ter for Cultural Arts at Shalom
Park.
Our featured guest speaker will
be Ari Shavit, one of the most in
fluential Israeli journalists writing
about the Middle East today and
author of “My Promised Land”-
an authoritative and deeply per
sonal narrative history of the State
of Israel. Ari Shavit is a leading
Israeli eolumnist and writer. Bom
in Rehovot, Israel, Shavit served
as a paratrooper in the IDF and
SHAVIT
studied philosophy at the Hebrew
University in Jerusalem. Ari
serves on the editorial board of the
loeal Israel newspaper, Haaretz,
and is also a leading eommentator
on Israeli publie television.
Mr. Shavit will diseuss
“Promise and Peril, Why Israel
and the Diaspora Need Eaeh
Other” explaining how Israel’s
eomplex past ought to shape its
still-uneertain future. Ari Shavit
through illuminating powerful and
eompelling moments of the mod
em Zionist state of Israel will
ehallenge Diaspora Jewry to
be bold in imagining the next
ehallenging ehapter for Is
rael. No eountry is more
emotionally eonneeted to the
United States, and no eoun
try’s fate matters more to many
Amerieans.
The leeture is free and open to
the publie. For more information
please eontaet Tal Stein, Direetor
of Community Relations and Is
rael Affairs at 704-944-6757 or
tal.stein@jewisheharlotte.org.
This event was made possible
by a generous gift from Harry and
Gloria Lerner ^
Jewish
Community
ReSations
Council
Do Jews Really Do That?
Learn the Facts for Domestic Violence Awareness Month
In 2009, nineteen Jewish agen-
eies in Charlotte-Meeklenburg
banded together to formally ae-
knowledge that domestie abuse
exists in our Jewish eommunity
and to take a visible stand against
it. Every Oetober during Domes
tie Violenee Awareness Month,
they join forees with others to
sponsor programs that edueate
and raise publie awareness about
domestie abuse.
“Domestie abuse is as eom-
mon among Jews as any other re
ligious or seeular eommunity,”
notes Jewish Federation Exeeu-
tive Direetor Sue Worrel. “As
leaders, it is our obligation to
break the wall of silenee and help
establish a safe haven for our
women, men and teens in need
wherever they seek it in our eom
munity.”
Domestie abuse in Jewish
households mirrors that in any
other home; one partner exerting
power and eontrol over another.
It ean be as subtle as an unkind
word or as blatant as a slap aeross
the faee. “Children and teens who
hear and witness the abuse are
often affeeted as well,” says
Stephanie Starr, Exeeutive Diree
tor of Jewish Family Serviees.
Even for those pre-teens and
teens not in abusive homes, dam
age is being done to this vulnera
ble audienee by eyber abuse and
textual harassment whieh is
growing to alarming degrees,”
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she noted.
There are many myths about
domestie abuse (see boxed area),
but one undeniable faet is that
Jewish women take far longer to
leave - seven to fifteen years ver
sus three to five years eompared
to those of other faiths (aeeording
to studies in Toronto and Califor
nia).
“This isn’t an issue for ‘vie-
tims’; it’s an issue for everyone,”
says Marsha Stiekler whose vol
unteer group, Shalom Bayit, is
working to end domestie abuse in
our Jewish eommunity. “When
we talk about domestie abuse and
get it out in the open, it’s easier
for those affeeted to get help,”
she eontinued. “Oetober is aimed
at sparking the resounding mes
sage that our Jewish eommunity
is aetively working to ereate a
safe, respeetful, just environment
for all our people,” Stiekler said.
She eneouraged everyone to
begin in Oetober by:
* Wearing a purple pin in Oe
tober; purple signifies the fight
against domestie abuse. The pins
will be available at reeeption
desks at most Jewish ageneies
throughout Oetober.
* Beeoming better informed.
See www.shalombayit-ne.org;
get informational broehures in
eluding “Stories of Crisis” whieh
ineludes loeal resouree informa
tion; read stories of survivors on
life-size silhouettes displayed
throughout Shalom Park; attend
sermons or workshops on healthy
relationships, abuse, and safety
given throughout Oetober. List
ings are as follows:
October 10 - Temple Beth El:
“Top Ten Tips for a Healthier Re
lationship” Workshop (see artiele
page 21), followed by a survivor
speaking at morning serviee.
October 23 - Temple Kol Tik-
vah
October 11 - Levine Jewish
Community Center: Self De
fense Course Taught by Sheriff
Irwin Carmiehael
October 17 - Charlotte Torah
Center
October 27 - Congregation Ohr
Hatorah
Each Saturday in October at
Temple Israel: Reeognition, in
eluding moment of silenee at
morning serviee. ^
Myths and Facts about
Domestic Abuse
Myth - Jews Don’t Abuse.
Fact - Abuse happens in Jewish relationships at about the same
rate as it does in families of other religions - about one in four -
and oeeurs in all soeio-eeonomie levels regardless of baekground,
level of edueation or denomination.
Myth - It is only domestic abuse if it is physical.
Fact - Most abuse is emotional and psyehologieal whieh ean be
more damaging in the long run sinee fewer people seek help. This
may inelude humiliation, exeessive eritieism, foreed isolation,
threats or destruetion of property, and eeonomie eontrol. Abuse
ean also take sexual or religious forms.
Myth - Domestic abuse is a one-time occurrence and usually a
momentary loss of temper.
Fact - Battering is a pattern of behavior meant to establish eontrol
and fear in a relationship. It happens over and over and esealates
in severity/dangerousness over time.
Myth - The batterer is not a loving partner.
Fact - The batterer does not always batter and in faet the relation
ship is almost always eyelieal - loving and then abusive. The part
ner sees the generous and affeetionate partner and believes there
ean be ehange if only the vietim does the “right” thing.
Myth - Those being abused have done something to cause this.
Fact - Abusers ehoose their aetions. Abuse is never the fault of
the person being abused.
Myth - Drinking and/or drug abuse cause battering.
Fact - Although they may inerease the likelihood of violent be
havior, they do not eause or exeuse it.