The Carolinas' Most Comprehensive Gay & Lesbian Newspaper
The Latest Q^POLL Results
OutCharlotte just completed its fourth annual cultural
festival. How is the event doing, thus far?
Great 31°^° Okay 12‘/* Poor 55^'
Take The Next Q^POLL
Have you or anyone you know been involved in a
same-sex abusive relationship?
Vbfe at www.q-notes.com
Published Every Two Weeks On Recycled Paper • Volume 13, Number 13 • November 14, 1998 • FREE
Gay domestic abuse: Our little
secret comes out of the closet
by Brian M. Myer
Q-Notes Staff
Gays in America, for all the progress that’s
been made, still remain victims of prejudice,
discrimination and hate crimes. Matthew
Shepard was beaten to death for his sexual ori
entation. One of the targets of alleged serial
bomber Eric Rudolph was a gay nightclub. And
more gays are being ejected from the military
than ever before, despite President Clinton’s
“Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy.
Discrimination from the outside, along with
the destructive force of the AIDS epidemic, has
tended to obscure an internal problem that
plagues the gay community: domestic violence. ■
An article about domestic violence may seem
out of place in a gay newspaper, but, unfortu
nately, it is not. For example, were you aware
that several recent studies suggest that same-
sex domestic violence may be occurring at a
similar rate — approximately one-third of all
relationships — as heterosexual domestic vio
lence? A six-city survey conducted by gay ac
tivists turned up 1566 reported incidents of gay
domestic violence, several hundred more than
reported incidents of anti-gay harassment and
violence.
Or were you aware that the cycle of same-
sex domestic violence is very similar to hetero
sexual domestic violence? Tension-building,
actual violence, and then a renewed honeymoon
phase where the cycle starts all over again. Like
heterosexual domestic violence, the underlying
issue is power and control, and that’s regardless
of gender or sexuality.
Unlike heterosexual episodes, there are as
pects of same-sex domestic violence that are
unique to our community. For example, the
closet plays a role in cases where the batterer is
out and the person who’s being battered is not.
In that instance, the victim has no one to turn
to because no one even knows they are in a
homosexual relationship. Using children as a
weapon is another method, where the batterer
threatens to “out” his or her partner to their
kids or other members of their family.
Also, HIV/AIDS factors into the problem
in a variety of ways. A recent study by Com
munity United Against Violence, a gay anti
violence group, revealed that if the batterer is
HIV-positive, sometimes the batteree doesn’t
want to leave them. They feel sorry for them
because they might get sick and they want to
help them. If the person who is battered is HIV-
positive, they may be too scared to leave be
cause they may feel, “I’ll die alone,” or “He’s
better than nobody at all.” Or the person be
ing battered may be frightened to leave the re
lationship because of the prevalence of HIV on
the dating scene.
Depending on whose figures you believe, up
to 10 percent of the US population may be gay,
which means there may be much more violence
in the gay community than anyone thought.
There have been books on the subject, going
back to the 1980s, but there has been resistance
to the idea. Many activists feel the resistance
might be due to the fact that this type of do
mestic violence does not conform to the tradi
tional models of heterosexual domestic violence
— especially as defined by feminists.
Oftentimes, the feminist theory is based on
gender dynamics and misogyny (men hating
women). Bringing male-male and female-fe
male violence into the equation undermines this
thinking and disrupts the gender-based power
theory of why domestic violence occurs.
There’s also resistance from the gay and les-
46
99
Iki
bian community who don’t want their dirty
laundry aired in public. Just as straight battered
women have tremendous shame and denial, the
same thing is felt on a community-wide basis
for gay people. Added to that is the sense of
not wanting to increase the negative attention
the gay community already feels itself under
from the outside.
If you are experiencing any of the following
forms of abuse from a lover, ex-lover or room
mate, you may be a victim of domestic violence;
• Emotional Abuse; Your partner constantly
criticizes or humiliates you. This person blames
you for things that are not your fault. This per
son is obsessively jealous. S/He lies to manipu
late you and punishes you when s/he gets an-
g«7-
• Physical Abuse: Your partner pushes, slaps,
kicks, bites, restrains, uses a weapon against, or
See SECRET on page 3
Voters send strong message to Republican Party
by Dan Van Mourik
Q-Notes Staff
WASHINGTON, DC—^The November 3
national election results once again showed that
the gay community is making significant strides
in our quest for acceptance while at the same
time showing there is much work to be done.
Several resounding victories were offset by
equally resounding defeats.
Even though our loses were significant, hope
for passage of legislation beneficial to the gay
community has been given new life. While
Republicans retain control, there may be a new
attitude in the upcoming 106th Congress.
Most analysts agree that voters sent a message
of moderation this election year. Voters defeated
several conservative Republicans, choosing in
stead candidates with a more moderate stance
on the issues. If Republicans listen to the mes
sage, they will have to soften their ultra-con
servative stance to regain voter support.
For example, in North Carolina, Republi
can incumbent Sen. Lauch Faircloth was de
feated by political newcomer John Edwards. In
New York, Alphonse D’Amato lost his seat to
Democrat Charles Schumer. Faircloth and
D Amato were viewed as ultra-conservatives
and both lost.
“American voters rejected the mean-spirited,
anti-gay positions that have been expressed
throughout this election season and registered
their dissatisfaction at the polls,” said Elizabeth
Bitch, executive director of the Human Rights
Campaign (HRC). “In most cases where the
voters had a choice, they picked the moderate,
fair-minded candidate. This should be a clear
message to the Republican leadership: extreme
tight candidates don’t make good candidates.”
In a mid-October survey conducted for Time
magazine and television network CNN, 58 per
cent of Americans said they would vote for a
political candidate who is homosexual and 76
percent favored a federal hate crime law that
includes sexual orientation.
The campaign trail
For the most part, gay candidates and their
opponents kept sexual orientation out of the
campaigns. But we did not ignore them. Our
national organizations poured money into these
races, notably $1 million spent nationally by
HRC and over $750,000 by the Gay and Les
bian Victory Fund on behalf of 28 openly gay
and lesbian candidates.
But in politics, not all goes smoothly. HRC
provoked a storm of protest from some of its
members with their decision to endorse Sen.
Alfonse M. D’Amato (R-NY) in his reelection
campaign against Rep. Charles E. Schumer (D-
NY). One member of HRC’s board of direc
tors, Marylouise Oates, resigned in protest af
ter the board voted to back D’Amato. “I sim
ply cannot be a part of any enterprise that seeks
to reelect an anti-choice senator with a long
record of hostility and indifference to women’s
issues and to the fundamental issues of civil
rights for African-Americans and other minori
ties, Oates said in a letter to Elizabeth Birch,
HRC s executive director. Most of New York’s
gay rights leaders endorsed Schumer.
But leaders of the organization defended the
D Amato endorsement, arguing that it was con
sistent with a long-standing policy to support
incumbents who have a good record on gay is
sues. In an “open letter” to members signed by
Birch and HRC’s co-chairmen, Jeff Sachse and
Candy Marcum, the leaders stated that “as a
Republican in a Republican-controlled Senate,
Sen. D’Amato has taken personally and politi
cally unpopular positions in defense of the dig
nity, rights and contributions of gay and les
bian Americans.”
Richard Socarides, White House liaison to
the gay community, said “we were disappointed
with their decision.” “You don’t have to be a
political professional to know that a vote for A1
D’Amato is a vote to make Trent Lott the next
Senate majority leader,” Socarides added.
“I was not happy with the fact that, even
though [D’Amato] has a 75 percent record with
us, he has an 82 percent voting record with the
Christian Coalition,” board member Barry
Karas said. “I felt in a way we would be sleep
ing with the enemy.”
Our victories
Wisconsin voters sent the first openly gay,
non-incumbent candidate to Congress. Demo
cratic state Rep. Tammy Baldwin defeated Re
publican Josephine Musser to replace retiring
GOP Rep. Scott Klug. Baldwin, 36, made
health care a cornerstone of her campaign, say
ing the United States should adopt a national,
publicly funded system like that in Canada.
“History was made when John Glenn proved
once and for all that age is no barrier. ...history
is being made here on earth as gay and lesbian
candidates prove that sexual orientation is not
a barrier to election,” said Brian K. Bond, ex
ecutive director of the Victory Fund.
“Tammy Baldwin is a solid representative
who happens to be a lesbian,” said Birch. “She
has broken down a very large door. She has cre-
See VOTERS on page 3
Gang of Five
sent packing
by moderates
by David Stout
Q-Notes Staff
CHARLOTTE—The “Gang of Five,” re
viled by liberals and moderates for the past year
and a half as the death of civility and centrist
politics in Mecklenburg County, has been re
duced to a shameful footnote in the history of
local government. The only member of the in
famous quintet left standing after the Novem
ber 3 general election is Commissioner Bill
James — and as one gay pundit was heard to
observe, “Nobody’s concerned about an attack
dog with no teeth.”
Virulent homophobe Joel Carter, who
openly referred to gays and lesbians as “queers,”
lost his District 1 seat to Maggi Markey in an
upset. Because he presented himself as the bas
tion of “traditional family values,” Carter un
doubtedly took a hit at the polls when his wife
filed for divorce less than a week before the elec
tion. In her filing, Marlene Carter accused her
husband of having an affair with his female
campaign manager. Joel Carter dropped out of
sight during the last days of the race without
responding to the allegations.
When the new Mecklenburg County Com
mission is sworn in, this is how it will look:
Maggi Markey (Dem., D-1); Norman Mitchell
(Dem., D-2); Darrel Williams,(Dem., D-3);
Lloyd Scher (Dem., D-4); Tom Cox (Rep., D-
5): Bill James (Rep., D-6); Parks Helms (Dem.,
At Large); Becky Carney (Dem., At Large); and
Jim Richardson (Dem., At Large).
Many are expecting
the Commission to
move quickly and
undo the handiwork of
the previous majority
Openly gay Libertarian Chris Cole garnered
7039 votes (1.56 percent). He expressed mixed
feelings about his showing. “I have had only a
brief chance to look at the precinct breakdown.
One thing I noticed was that some of my best
precinct totals were in the Dilworth area of
Charlotte, which is where the highest concen
tration of gay folks live. I take that to mean
that my message was at least somewhat success-
fill in getting out to my community.”
Many are expecting the Commission to
move quickly and undo the handiwork of the
previous majority, such as restoring county
funding to the Arts & Science Council and lift
ing a ban that prohibits agencies receiving
county money from offering sex education
counseling. At a candidate’s forum sponsored
by Mecklenburg Gay & Lesbian PAC prior to
the election. Commissioner Carney noted that
she “dream[s] of that first meeting.”
Democrats did well with voters statewide.
Political newcomer John Edwards beat incum
bent Republican Lauch Faircloth for a seat in
the US Senate while Mel Watt, an African-
American incumbent, won his race for the re
drawn, white-majority 12th House district.
NC Pride PAC saw 74 percent of their en
dorsed and recommended candidates elected to
the NC House and 92 percent to the Senate,
including stalwarts such as Charlie Dannclly
(Dem., Senate D-33); Alma Adams (Dem.,
House D-26); Ellie Kinnaird (Dem., Senate D-
See GANG on page 24