PAGES ▼ Q-Notes ▼ January9, 1999
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Freedom to Marry Day in February
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WASHINGTON, DC—The Second An
nual National Freedom to Marry Day will take
place on Friday, February 12, 1999.
In late 1997, the National Freedom to Marty
Coalition declared that February 12, 1998
would be the First Annual National Freedom
to Marry Day. Activists, students, members of
the clergy and non-gay allies responded and
staged over 50 events in 36 communities across
the country to build support for equal marriage
rights for lesbian and gay Americans, garner
ing coverage in major media markets nation
wide.
February 12 was chosen to coincide with
Lincoln’s Birthday and Valentine’s Day two days
later, emphasizing the themes of Love and
Equality.
Before the day itself, national, state and lo
cal partners in the National Freedom to Marry
Coalition laid the groundwork by starting con
versations with and asking for support from
allies and potential allies outside the gay and
lesbian community.
The Coalition envisions the Second Annual
National Freedom to Marry Day as an oppor
tunity to expand our movement’s reach, in
terms of both the total number of events and
the extent to which we all reach out beyond
our own communities.
For National Freedom to Marry Day 1999,
the Coalition hopes that: a) actions and events
will be planned in all 50 states, b) each local
action group or committee will have moved
week-by-week to assemble a broad array of al
lies, and c) local groups will reach as broad an
audience as possible by securing coverage in the
print, television and radio media.
The election results in Hawaii and Alaska
may have prevented a breakthrough this year,
but have not stopped our movement — and
the breakthrough may still be at hand within a
matter of months. Like all civil rights struggles,
it will require great fortitude and persistence.
The two election defeats place focus on what
lesBian notions
by Paula Martinac
Special to Q-Notes
Because it’s the end of the year. I’ve been
taking inventory of the political and cultural
topics I didn’t v/tm about in 1998 and trying
to remember why I left them unexplored. Was
it simply, “So much news, so little time”? Or
was it, “I just can’t come up with any lesbian
spin on this”? Consider these abandoned gems:
1. Viagra was big news this year, and believe
it or not, there’s a file on one of my computer
disks called “Lesbians and Viagra.” Now what
in the world was I thinking of? I was actually
trying to assess whether or not the new-found
salvation for “erectile dysfunction” would be of
any use in the search for a cure for lesbian bed
death. After all, if straight women and gay men
could pop Viagra like candy in order to achieve
the ultimate sexual experience, why not lesbi
ans? In the end, I abandoned this story because
I had a sneaking suspicion that most lesbians
would be too embarrassed to call their doctors
to even ask about Viagra.
2. On the same disk, there’s a file called “Les
bians and Viagra #2.” One of my readers sug
gested I examine Viagra’s potential to bring se
nior women in heterosexual marriages out of
the closet. My reader thought that these women
were probably pretty happy having impotent
husbands and the prospect of their spouses “per
forming” again on Saturday nights might force
a lot of lesbian grandmothers to come out. It
didn’t work as an op-ed piece, but I decided it
would make a terrific lesbian fantasy novel.
3. The Pope was at it again this year, threat
ening clergy members with excommunication
if they dissented on issues such as the ordina
tion of women, sex outside of marriage, and
homosexuality. As an ex-Catholic who endured
12 years of Catholic schooling, I considered
myself qualified to write a column headlined
“John Paul Should Resign.” But does a pope
“resign”? Or does he abdicate? Doffhis miter? I
had a lot of semantic problems with this idea,
so there’s an empty file on my computer called
“Pope.”
4. Among my pet peeves are the tiresome
cultural stereotypes imposed on lesbians, often
by other lesbians. For example. Chastity Bono’s
new book. Family Outing, is chock full of them.
needs to be done most: education and outreach.
It takes more than political campaign work to
change hearts and minds. It takes months and
years of ongoing personal contact and public
dialogue—exacdy the kind of work that build
ing toward and beyond National Freedom to
Marry Day can entail.
Though a breakthrough decision is possible
in Vermont and even in Hawaii in 1999, re
cent election losses demonstrate how impor
tant it is to be able to defend the victories se
cured through the courts. This means that the
urgent task is to focus energies where they can
have the most impact: at home.
A critical freedom to marry battle, for ex
ample, is facing Californians in just over a year.
Will our movement focus now, build a diverse
array of supporters, and help educate the Cali
fornia electorate about what civil marriage re
ally means? That’s what must be done in order
to move closer to the end goal of full equality.
And that’s what needs to happen everywhere,
beginning now, regardless of whether an initia
tive is on the ballot.
Some successful events from last year in
cluded: an interfaith breakfast; a “tying the
knot” visibility campaign to communicate the
importance of legal recognition of family ties;
campus speak-outs, rallies and lectures; a news
conference featuring a wedding cake; candle
light St. Valentine’s communion service recog
nizing same-sex couples; a poduck dinner, “Cel
ebrating Family;” panel discussions and town
halls; and demonstrations at City Halls.
Plan to participate in your local event. If
no event is planned in your area and you would
like to plan one, help is available at such web
sites as Lambda Legal (www.lambdalegal.org),
GLAD (www.glad.org), the Vermont Freedom
to Marry Task Force (www.VTfteetomarry.org),
the Partners’ Task Force (www.buddybuddy.
org). Human Rights Campaign (www.hrc.org)
or the National Freedom to Marry Coalition
(www.freedomtomarry.org). ▼
Some of these stereotypes include: we were all
tomboys in dirty overalls; we all play softball
for “The Awesome Amazons;” we all tinker ■with
our Harleys; we all wield a mean wrench, so
just let us at your leaky pif>es. This column never
got off the ground because it turns out that I
am one of the few lesbians I know who can’t
identify with even one of the above stereotypes.
Given my lack of athletic ability, my love of
Hollywood musicals, and my obsession with
personal hygiene, I decided that I must be a
gay man.
5. Queer theory in the academy garnered
mainstream attention this year. Even Mike
Wallace featured a biased segment about it on
60 Minutes. I wanted to write a column cri
tiquing Wallace’s report, but I had a problem: I
didn’t really understand much of the queer
theory he put under the spotlight. I couldn’t
find words like “minotitizing,” “performativity,”
and “structurations” in my American Heritage
Dictionary.
6. There’s been quite a bit of hype lately
about lesbian-run medical services — s4e places
for lesbians who, fearing homophobia and of
ten lacking health insurance, avoid getting regu
lar check-ups and endanger their health. Un
fortunately, I haven’t written on this topic be
cause I’m skeptical: My lesbian gynecologist,
who advertised her practice widely among les
bians and has been heralded in the gay press,
socked me with a $350 invoice for a routine
exam. I guess it’s only “safe” to consult her if
you’re rich.
7.1 contemplated writing a thoughtful femi
nist piece about John Glenn and the sexist re
mark he made in 1962 when the space pro
gram put the clamps on women astronauts —
some of whom you know had to be dykes.
NASA decided that women couldn’t go into
space because, even though they might be ex
pert pilots, they weren’t experienced fighter pi
lots. (And the astronauts were going to have to
fight whom? Oh, yeah, Martians.) At that time,
hero Glenn went on record saying that women
had no place in the space program, period. The
kitchen or the bedroom, right. Senator? Ulti
mately, I axed this story because I refused to
add to all the press about Glenn.
So ends another year. Stay tuned for ’99. ▼
[Paula Martinac is the author of seven books.
Her latest is The Lesbian and Gay Book of Love
and Marriage. She can he reached care of this
publication or at LNcolumn(^aoLcom\