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FEBRUARY 2 . 2002 • Q-NOTES BIND from page 6 me to make a list of what in our house was “hers." Because of this injustice, for the first time in my life I have stepped onto a legal battleground. For the past two years I’ve been ensnared in a lengthy and costly court battle — painful beyond explanation. However, I’ve been flanked by two wise and wildly talented gay attorneys. Ultimately a jury will make the final judgment about my relationship, and sadly so. Whatever the outcome, a courtroom is an ugly venue for such decisions. Now I am an activist for gay marriage. Throughout this legal ordeal. I’ve discovered just how many implicit rights marriage provides — veritable tentacles reaching into every important aspect of daily life — community property, access to family courts, taxes. Social Security and survivors’ benefits. Some of these can be addressed through wills and legal documents, but many, such as tax and benefit rulings, are flat out unavailable to gay and lesbian couples. Unfortunately, the point at which many of us butt up against these discriminations corresponds to a moment of tragedy. Assemblywoman Carole Migden authored and pushed through AB-25, one of the most comprehensive pieces of gay-rights legislation in the country. This new law enables registered domestic partners to sue for wrongful death, extending domestic partners other rights afforded to married couples, including the ability to: use sick leave to care for an ill partner; administer a partner’s estate; use a statutory will; adopt a partner’s child using the step-parent adoption process; make medical decisions in the hospital or act as a conservator; and continue health benefits for surviving partners of government employees and retirees. Yet, according to legal experts, there are still nearly 1700 state aad federal protections for married heterosexuals which homosexual partners can not count on. Partners of 9-11 victims have been shown their precarious legal standing as they’ve watched the distribution of disaster funds. Though the Red Cross offered relief to domestic partners left behind, federal programs were less forthcoming. Locally, Marin County resident Keith Bradkowski, a flight attendant for American Airlines,' discovered the survivor’s benefit check sent by his partner’s employer went to his partner’s parents — from whom he was estranged. A straight couple I know who have been living together well over 10 years have made the decision not to marry until their queer friends are allowed to do so as well. Although I’m terrifically moved by their support. I’m not_ advocating a nationwide nuptial boycott — though it would certainly raise public awareness of the issue. I’m just too selfish: I love a good wedding. This wedding season, while raising your glass and wishing well to others, take a moment. Remember those of us out here who’d like,If not to rriarch down an aisle, to at least reap the legal gifts which legal marriage provides. Louise Rafkin’s first book, Different Daughters: A Book by Mothers of Lesbians, was one of the first books on the topic of family acceptance published fifteen years ago, and is still selling.^ STARS from page 24 wait until after mid-month. Words come Out more effectively then. • Scorpio: October 24 - November 22 Don’t deal with home issues during the Mercury retrograde. Proud Scorps cannot win with relatives and cannot plan a home improvement project without wasting time and going astray. Communications become more problematic when Mercury retros into Capricorn. Take a breath and watch what you say! Even strategic Scorps can catch foot-in- mouth disease. Yuk. • Sagittarius: November 23 - December 22 Expect static on the chat line with retro Mercury. Gay Archers are not at the top of their expressive form and should avoid any public speaking now. Mercury will retro into Capricorn and cause some confusion and miscommunication in fiscal matters. The secret is to buy low and sell high, but Mercury may do the opposite. Become well endowed in time for Valentine’s Day. Ahem. • capricorn; oecember 23 - January 20 A fool and his/her money are soon parted. And that goes double for mouthy pink Caps during retro Mercury. Let financial matters wait if you can for Mercury to back into your own sign. You can then clumsily trip your way onto center stage. First impressions are lasting impressions, poor thing. Can you avoid wearing plastic wrap until mid- February? info www.AccessNewAge.com/sfargazer for egeetings, horoscopes & pride jewelry. "HerScopes; A Guide To Astrology For Lesbians" is ovoiloble of bookstores and major booksites. DICKLENS & A S S O C ! A T E S MITCHENER VINSON WASHBURN REALTOR® 704.342.1000 //om;-704.,364.6l39 Email - vwashburn@hotmail.com 4^2330 RANDOLPH ROAD ; charlotte, NC 28207 '.c.x.:.:.^...v..c.:.>*.* ss v***'*'*'' '. s- Fax -704.342.1022 Mobile - 704.451.4952 Direct - 704.602.4246 □ 25 S03 Nuff St. Wilminston, NC ’ 28401 cooitlincmn com Locoted in the heorf of downtown Wilmington just 3 blocks from oil the clubs. for reservations call: 1 BOO ^ 1 7‘7732
Q-notes (Charlotte, N.C.)
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