MARCH 16
Pluto, lord of the underground, beats a
retreat this week that lasts until August. This
retrograding masked marauder likes nothing
better than to bite us on the butt without
warning. I wouldn’t mind, except it’s tough
on the material...
RRieS (march 21 - APRIL 20)
Just where do you
think you’re going,
bud? Retro Pluto can
put a cramp in any
Wilde and woolly
adventure. Rainbow
Rambos are advised to
stay close to home, sip
a cup of camomile and stay away from the
slippery slopes. Can you avoid any legal
dealings until August? just when you
thought it was safe to dive into the pool,
someone poured in the
pet piranhas.
TAURUS (APRIL
21 - MRY 2l)
They say that
proud Bulls are the
“last of the red hot
lovers”. As volcanic
> CHARLCNC LICHTCNSTCIN
Pluto retrogrades, you may be better known
as “last in line”. A stinky wind gusts
through a particular fresh romance and
can wilt your stem. Think of the next five
months as a time of quiet contemplation
and spiritual nourishment. Yeah, and that’s
about all the "nourishment” you’re gonna
get. pal.
GCMINI (hRY 22 - JUNC 2l]
Relationships have their surprises
(ahem) when transformative Pluto
retrogrades and stirs your honey pot. The
path of true marital bliss can become a
falling rock zone. Watch out! Tread carefully,
queer Twin; Ready or not. this can be the
time for dramatic and possibly necessary
change. Can you compromise? Where must
you compromise? Single Twins may savor
the solitude...
CRNCeR (jUNe 22 - JULY 2j)
Retro Pluto turns any really great effort
into ... err... just a really great effort, just as
Sisyphus continuously rolled that boulder
back onto his toe, so can all your hard work
come back again and again and again. Pink
Crabs are better served by taking time off
and enjoying life for a while. Use this time as
an excuse to recharge and relax. Take five.
Better still, take twenty-five!
Leo (JULY 24 - RUGUST 2j)
Where’S the party? Not where you expect
it to be when volcanic Pluto retrogrades. This
orb has a way of turning any good time into
an affair to really remember. Proud Lions just
love to be the center of attention but this
astrologer suggests that you to fade into the
background for the next five months. Weave
your magic behind the scenes, Houdini. Hey,
watch that magic wand!
VIRGO (rugust 24 - SePT. 23)
Queer Virgos insist on having everything
in its place and everyone behaving politely
towards each other. Well forgetaboutit for
the next five months, cousin. As much as
you will strive to maintain domestic and
familial harmony, retrograde Pluto conspires
to turn your house and your family issues
upside down and inside out. But that’s okay,
as long as it’s out and about!
LIGRR (sePT. 24 - OCT. 23)
Gay Libras pride themselves on always
being politically correct and diplomatic.
Let’s guess how long your bon mots will last
as tittering Pluto retrogrades for the next five
months. Weigh all your words very
carefully. This may not be the best time to
state your case unless, of course, your case
is ready to rest. When in doubt, keep a stiff
upper lip. Some people prefer it that way
anyway.
SCORPIO (OCT. 24 - NOV. 22)
If you think the current stock market
is having its ups and downs, just wait
until Wilde Pluto retrogrades and casts a
moldy green eye over your finances.
Proud Scorps can go from riches to rags
if they fail to remain firm during the
shifting and swirling sandstorm. On the
other hand, if you can keep your eye on
the bottom line, you’ll remain quite well
endowed.
SRGITTRRIUS (nOV. 23 - DCC. 22)
Crafty Pluto retrogrades in your own sign
and makes you a legend in your own mind.
Queer Archers can be prone to gross acts.
(Often while prone.) Now even a small slip
can catapult you into the center of the
cream pie. Maintain a great sense of humor
and wear something washable during this
see STARS on 28
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