Newspapers / Q-notes (Charlotte, N.C.) / March 16, 2002, edition 1 / Page 26
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Q-NOTES • MARCH 16 UN-GAY from page 1 was finally being reflected there. She hurried her son along, smiling at him and trying to engage him in conversation. Undaunted by the sullen lack of response to her cajoling, she continued with a steady stream, of inconsequential banter and lovingly maternal pats and caresses. lamahl would occasionally give a nod or a single syllable answer to direct questions. His wide, eyes looked as if he had placed a thin filament there hoping to contain his private thoughts and emotions. After nine hours, the attendees seemed to separate into one of two categories: those who were inspired, refreshed and rejuvenated by the Nicolosi-Hallman retro idiotology and those of us who emerged befuddled, battered, and sore. The day had taken its toll on jamahl, his athletic frame standing a little less tall. In the foyer of the First Baptist Church our eyes met, and I felt that familiar glimmer of recognition peculiar among gays and lesbians. As he held the door for his mother, the woman who brought him into this world and to this conference, I detected the slightest of smiles and an almost imperceptible nod in my direction. He wrapped one long arm around his mother’s shoulders, pulled her close and ushered her into the brisk night. DceDee 1 didn’t see DeeDee at the end of the conference because DeeDee did not make it to the end. One look at DeeDee and I knew she was going to be trouble. She was tiny and carried herself with the self-important swagger which warned against mentioning her size. Her chemically-red hair was cut in a “justice” style —without benefit of scissors or mirror. Everything about her demeanor, carriage and tone invoked challenge. 1 liked her right away. An immaculately-coiffed, 40-ish volunteer insisted on going through DeeDee’s backpack. DeeDee’s shocked expression prompted the volunteer to point toward one of the many signs posted, warning attendees that the organizers reserved the right to search anything or anyone before they would be allowed to enter. In a vain attempt to assuage her, the volunteer, with pinched smile, said “We have to be so careful after the World Trade Center.” To which DeeDee shot back, “Was it by burqa?” I don’t think the volunteer got it. I next caught up with DeeDee at a presentation by Dr. loseph Nicolosi, president and principal research investigator for the National Association of Research and Therapy of Homosexuality. NARTH uses many of the same bent and twisted “statistics” and ’’case-studies” employed by Dr. Laura Schlessinger — with less sincerity and charm. Nicolosi was in the midst of a rant about gay activists who deny any correlation between being gay and molesting children when DeeDee said, “You do know it is not about sex, right?” Everyone within earshot turned to look at her, but I doubt anyone in the room was as surprised she had spoken as DeeDee herself. There was an awkward pause as the room sat silent. Then with an ”in-for-a-penny” look and shrug, she said; “Rape. It’s not ever about sex, whether it’s a woman or a kid. You’re a doctor. You should know that.” Nicolosi mumbled unintelligibly and continued his presentation. After we all filed out, DeeDee was pulled aside by one of the wranglers. She was escorted toward media never-never land. Kevin It was Kevin’s father’s voice that caught my attention. Between sessions, I passed a middle-aged couple engaged in a hushed, but heated discussion. His face contorted in rage and in a voice that he could barely contain, he hissed ’’Shut the f— up!” into his wife’s face and stalked away. During lunch, the two ate in silence. They didn’t seem to notice Kevin struggling to open his potato chips, hampered by a bright new colorful cast on his arm. He didn’t ask for help. They didn’t offer. Eventually Kevin stopped trying, discarding the unopened bag with the rest of the family’s half-eaten lunch. When Kevin’s father got up and left the table, Kevin unwrapped his sling and slid a pencil into the opening near his knuckles. As he maneuvered the eraser-end toward the itch, I noticed the all the signatures and doodles that adorned his cast. I glanced at his mother who sat mutely absorbed in someone else’s conversation at another table, completely oblivious. I was glad he was at least visible to the people who signed his cast, and hoped whatever put him in it happened with them and not at home. The one thing these kids and the few dozen other teenage attendees had in common; not one seemed to want to be there. While adult faces registered excited smiles, righteous pride or beatific expressions of the pious doing the Lord’s work. Every individual under the age of 20 1 saw looked either caged or numb. I wasn’t prepared for the children. It’s their image I take with me from my excursion across enemy lines. Its their images that continue to haunt me as I try to understand the things otherwise descent people.can do to their children in the name of whose God, in the name of what kind of love. part II next issue: the mission and the nraddness of goodness COMMUNITY CARDS Td; 828-B24-5454 J'iLx; 828-B24-44()7 77u' Iaiw Office of Edwin G. Fart.hinn Office 21(> 2iul Street XW HieUorv. XC 28001 ,\ I'liniily AUiiniey For I'ainily Moilinii /iildiess: no. Bo.\ 929T Iliekorv, ,XC 28008-92!>4 Jemsek Clinic I Diagnostic and Research Facility J. 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Q-notes (Charlotte, N.C.)
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March 16, 2002, edition 1
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