Q - L I V I N G
Tell Trinity
by Trinity
Can we be lovers if weVe
not making love?
Dearest Trinity,
Six weeks ago I met someone, but after the
second week the sex stopped. Wre still very
affectionate, but “health issues and medicine”
makes him “nonsexual”so he says. Now I’m
going sexually insane! I’m not ready for celibacy,
but finding a great guy like him is tough. Can we
be lovers if were not making love?
Celibately Insane, Louisville, Ky.
Dearest Celibately Insane,
I want to say sex is not everything, love
and companionship are. And I want to say that
dating is hard, so if you meet someone you
like, do everything to make it work, even give
up sex. But, pumpkin, I can’t say that. Sex is
wonderful, exciting, a part of life, nature and
love. I’m afraid you’re both destined for a great
friendship, not a great love affair. If you really
need sex, then sooner or later you’re gonna
have to find a sexual boyfriend. Hey, you’ve
made a great friend and sometimes that’s bet
ter than a great lover... I think.
Dear Trinity,
I chatted with someone online and really
got hooked into meeting him. He looked hot.
But when we met he obviously
altered his photos. He was
almost 10years older and 30
pounds fatter than his pix. I cut
our date short and haven’t
returned his emails or phone
calls. How do I get out politely
even though I’m mad?
InterNuts, Omaha, Neb.
Dear InterNuts,
Fools.. .er, I mean people on the net, for
some alien reason, feel like they’re beyond
reality, free to be dishonest (or overly honest)
even more than they’ve ever been in their
entire lives. People will also do anything for
love. Plus photo retouching could make Mr.
Trinity’s Cyber Date
Potatohead look like a porn star. So, email him
“not interested,” crawl off the web and start
going out again. It’s much more real. Honey,
the internet’s a trap. Why do you think they
call it the net and/or the web!
Hello Trinity,
My lover and I are about to get married in
Canada. I know it sounds crazy, but do you have
any vows or declarations two people might read
at or before their ceremony?
About To Leap, Burlington, Vt.
Hello About To Leap,
As a minister, I always think it’s best to
make your own declarations, but to get you
started I’ve written:
Trinity’s Tough Declarations For
Being Married, Partnered Or In A
Committed Relationship
1. Commitment: I promise not to sleep with,
search the internet for or have any type of
sex with anyone other than my spouse.
(Yes, you can say it.)
2. Clarity: I promise not to threaten to
divorce every time we have an issue, prob
lem, fight or when his or her mother gets
too involved.
3. Resiliency: I promise never to get too com
fortable just because I have a signed con
tract, thus I promise to continually foster a
sound, healthy and lasting relationship.
4. Compromise: I promise to compromise by
persistently trying new things while being
open to new ideas that will make me a bet
ter partner and person — intellectually,
emotionally and sexually.
5. Intrigue: I promise to push myself toward
always being interesting, exciting, upbeat
and fun.
6. Romance: I promise to be affectionate,
charming, charitable and romantic, as well
as help with the chores.
7. Control I promise never to get too control
ling, jealous, insecure or smothering. (You’re
married, not a slave owner in the 1700s.)
8. Communicatiom I promise to communi
cate my feelings, as well as be a great lis
tener, yet keep some personal problems to
myself so as to not burden the relationship.
9. Change: I promise to work on bad habits,
alter lazy attitudes, work on deep down
issues and not make my partner my
therapist.
10. Lastly, responsibility. I promise to take
responsibility for my actions, not blame
anyone for being himself or herself and
compromise.. .till it kills me. I
Don’t let your questions go unanswered!
— With a Masters of Divinity,
Reverend Trinity was host of
“Spiritually Speaking” a weekly radio drama
and now performs globally.
info: Trinity@telltrinity.com . www.telltrinity.com
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48 -SEPTEMBER 23
Q-NOTES