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*Who would Jesus exclude?’
I 2 AUGUST 23.2008 • Qnot es
Western N.C. families organize
for support
by Sarah Benedek . The Mountaineer
“Therefore, accept one another, just as
Christ also accepted us to the glory of God.”
This Bible verse, found in Romans 15:7,
New American Standard Version, embodies
the basis on which Christianity is based.
Christians are expected to treat others with
respect and acceptance, even if they don’t
agree with some choices others make.
Somewhere along the way, however, this
message has become lost in many church con
gregations when it comes to LGBT (lesbian, gay,
bisexual, transgender) persons, their families
and those who stand out
in support of them. This
is one of the many rea
sons why Helen I^g,
member of First United
Methodist Church of
Waynesville, formed a
support group for friends
and family of LGBT per
sons almost a year ago.
“When our daughter
came out to us 16 years
ago,” said King,‘T imme
diately knew that church
was the first place I
couldn’t go. It seemed
like the most condemn
ing place of all.”
As far as King knows, the group she began
is the first of its kind in Haywood County. The
county does not have a chapter of PFLAG
(Parents, Friends and Family of Lesbians and
Gays) and there has not been a faith-based
group of this sort. (PFLAG is not faith-based.)
King felt there were other people within her
church family who would understand the feel
ings she was having and who would benefit
from knowing there were people who would
understand.
“When people discover they are the parent
of a gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender per
son, they can feel isolated, lonely, confused
and fearful, especially if they are Christians,”
said King. “A support group such as ours can
give them a listening, caring ear because many
of us have been where they are. That was my
main reason for wanting to start this kind of
group within the church that would reach out
to people of faith.”
Ruth and Jim Hoyt, fellow First UMC mem
bers and attendees of the support group, were
on board with the idea. Their son was not
allowed, due to Methodist church rules, to pas
tor. He instead became a pastor of Unitarianism.
“Helen’s experience, as it turned out, was
shared by many people,” said Ruth. “These
people had felt the same prejudice and [family
members of LGBT persons] felt the same kind
of pushing away the actual gay person feels.
You’re afraid you have to stay in the closet
along with your child.”
“Ruth and I always accepted [their son]
and we were shocked to find out how negative
[the entirety of the United Methodist] church
was toward both the parents and the [LGBT]
child,” said Jim. “Because to me, the love of
Christ was prevalent over everything. To have
people picking Bible verses [to condone the
rejection of LGBT persons], that shocked me. I
still am shocked at the hurt we put on people
in the name of Christ. That really bothers me.”
King agrees with Jim’s perspective and
mentioned how the church has a bad history
of being behind the times when it comes to
accepting or rejecting things based on per
ceived interpretations of the Bible, such as
“slavery, women’s rights, that sort of thing.”
“It all leads me to say to people, as a per
son of faith, to others of faith,‘Who would
Jesus exclude?”’ said King. “When I try to fig
ure that out, I can’t think of anyone.”
Jim feels that in matters such as these, the
church often oversteps boundaries.
“The main thing Ruth and I are trying to do
it make people understand whatever you are is
OK,” he said. “It’s not the
church’s job to make those
kinds of judgements.”
King added that the
Methodist church as a
whole tends toward the
hypocritical in matters of
homosexual members.
“In the Methodist
church, we baptize
babies,” she said. “These
are babies less than a year
old, almost always. If the
church is not going to
accept these children later,
hen they discover for
themselves they’re homo
sexual, then why is the church baptizing them?
“I think the church needs to stop baptizing
babies if they’re not going to hold up their
part of the baptismal covenant,” she added.
As far as the support group is concerned.
King said they are open to new members who
are not members of the church.
“I saw the group as.. .a way to break the
silence,” said King. “Silence on the issue of
homosexuality within the church feels like rejec
tion and exclusion. And silence is also compla
cency. It implies complacency. People don’t want
to talk about what makes them uncomfortable.
The group is a place where people can talk in
confidence and with confidentiality, about their
fears, their confusion, whatever)’
“Acceptance is an important part of it,”
said Ruth.
As far as church rules and religious preju
dices go. King points to the mission of the
Methodist church, which is printed on a flag
hanging by the door of First UMC and which
reads,“Our mission is be be the living body of
the church. We are called to be a community
with diverse opinions and gifts, united as chil
dren of God through the love of Christ. As an
open and inclusive church, we invite ALL to
the table. By belonging to Christ, we already
belong to each other.”
“I’m willing to bet most people who quote
Bible verses [regarding why homosexuals
should be viewed with derision] haven’t actual
ly read [the Bible,” said King. “Are they really
basing their prejudices on [verses in Leviticus]?
It’s all sort of misinterpretation of the Bible.”
“Maybe they have read it,” amended King.
“But they’ve misinterpreted it.” I
— Sarah Benedek is the lifestyles/religion edi
tor of The Mountainer, in Haywood County,
N.C., which originally published this article on
July 23,2008. It is reprinted with permission.