SEX ISSUE 09
Polyamorous love for four
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from page 15
“Sometimes just two of us like to do
something that the third one doesn’t like to
do,” Jim says. Situations involving favorite TV
shows, movies, hobbies or other activities two
might have in common, leaves the third part
ner alone and feeling left out.
Finding a time for Jim, Thomas and Chris
to spend together as a family is a large part of
the battle. Recently unemployed, Jim doesn’t
work. While he’s at home, Thomas works a
first shift job and Chris works second.
The wonky work schedules create frustra
tion, Chris says. By the time he comes home,
Jim and Thomas have already had their togeth
er time and are settled watching a movie or
already involved in some other activity.
The relationship is definitely an odd-num
bered juggling act, and Jim had just the solution.
Poly dating
Thomas wasn’t too keen on the idea
when Jim broached the topic of bringing a
fourth partner into the relationship.
“They were more open to adding a fourth
person than I was,”Thomas says.“I didn’t
want it to be like a brothel.”
Jeremy Eudy, 22, from Midland, has
known Chris for years, seeing him out and
about around town. Jim met him recently
and told him about his two boyfriends and
asked if he was interested in dating them.
“Well, part of me was like,‘Okay, this
hot,”’ Jeremy laughs. “But the second part of
me really liked the trust thing. This is a
closed relationship and they are all honest
with each other. That’s the main thing that
kills me — I’ve been screwed over a lot in
other relationships. The last guy I dated for
two years was sleeping around behind my
back and I didn’t even know it.”
The three guys say they have a sense, so
far, that they can trust Jeremy, too.
Thomas still has his reservations, but he’s
working through them.
“I was very against it at the start,” he says.
“We are still going through it though. We’re
almost like dating, you could say”
His initial rejection of the idea turned
around when he met Jeremy. “It all depended
on the person,” he says. “If it had been some
one else maybe it would have been different.
But Jeremy has a good personality. He is line
with us, with what we have in common. He
more meshed with me.”
Jim, Thomas and Chris hope Jeremy can
solve some of those third wheel issues.
“It is all about simple, everyday things,”
Chris says. “Going to bed, now there is two
and two. Going to a restaurant and sitting in
the booth, now there is two and two. Going to
an amusement park for two-seater rides, now
there is two and two.”
Family
The guys’ relationship is still growing.
Jeremy’s addition will serve a ch^enge, but it
isn’t anything they can’t overcome. All four say
there are certain qualities to the relationship
they love.
Chris and Thomas say they enjoy the vari
ety. “What you can’t share with one person,
you can with another. Everyone has different
qualities and personalities,” Thomas says. “It
isn’t always one or the other. It is collectively
sharing with each other.”
Jim, Thomas and Chris have been in a
polyamorous relationship for about a year.
Jeremy says the relationship just works.
“They have this going on and they have so many
qualities. I think it just fits together like a puzzle.”
He admires the group’s commitment and
honesty with each other. “That’s one of the
main things 1 value anywhere,” he says. “I hate
being lied to.”
Jim’s parents have grown since the day
they told Thomas to leave. Having his “second
family” in Charlotte is important to him.
“Everything is good. The sex is good, the
friendship is good, but they are more than just
my lovers. They are my family.”
Family is really all that counts. I
Online ExQlusive
See more photos of Jim, Thomas, Chris and
Jeremy, and hear audio from the Q-Notes inter
view at www.q-notes.com.
— All photos Copyright © Jimmy Cobb.
WWW.321NEWSANDVIDEO.COM
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16 MAY 30.2009‘ftNotes