on being a goy parent
by brett webb-mitchell :: qnotss contributor
On being a second-class parent
I was walking into my local
YMCA when I noticed them: a
table of Boy Scouts selling Trail's
End popcorn for a fundraising
drive. While my local YMCA
(Chapel Hill-Carrboro branch)
welcomes LGBTQ individuals
and families as full memffers
—without any special proof of our family relationship—the
same could not be said of the Boy Scouts of America. I was
flummoxed in seeing the Boy Scouts in front of our YMCA
branch. The Boy Scouts of America have been given the right
to discriminate against gay young men and gay scout leaders,
according to the U.S. Supreme Court as a private non-profit,
501 c3 organization.
The legacy of discrimination by the Scouts continues
throughout the U.S. today. For example, Jon Langert, a gay dad
in Dallas, Texas, who has held the fundraising drive for his nine-
year-old son's Cub Scout troop for the last two years, was told
thathecould neither wear the shirt designating him a scout
leader nor serve in a leadership role in the Cub Scouts. "What
message does that send to my son? It says I'm a second-class
citizen," said Langert {Dallas Morning News, Oct. 16). • ,
In reading this story, I remember how my Dad served
proudly as the Scout leader for my Webelos pack, spending'
countless hours teaching me how to tie knots and work on my
latest soap box creation. Of course, he didn't know he had a
gay son in the pack, but then again, I didn't know that either
at the time. I did not go on to Boy Scouts, choosing instead to
become a Civil Air Patrol (CAP) cadet when my father became
a leader of the troop as a U.S. Air Force reservist. I followed my
Dad's footsteps. Those of us in CAP were junior Air Force ca
dets, working primarily in the area of search and rescue while
given multiple opportunities to fly in small planes. Both Scouts
and CAP gave my Dad and I time to get to know each other bet
ter, draw'mg us closer together as father and son.
The fight for what is right, what is just, for equality for all in
all arenas of life for LGBTQ parents and children, is at a fevered
pitch. Second-class citizenship in Scouts, in the military
services or in faith communities, is no longer acceptable or
status quo. We are not going to be relegated as second-class
parents. There is a shift in the cultural attitude toward a more
welcoming, accepting and inclusion of LGBTQ people among
our straight allies, friends and farpily members. This has come
at a cost, but also brought out our creative answers to the
obstacles thrown at us. For example, while the Boy Scouts
of America do not welcome gay scouts or scout leaders, the
imaginative response was the creation and organization of
Scouting for All, which is inclusive of gay scouts and scout
leaders. Group by discriminatory group, we are working toward
making this world a network of organizations that are welcom
ing of all who wish to participate. In hindsight I should've
engaged in a conversation with the scouting parents and
scouts about the purpose of the scouting program as they
sold their popcorn, sharing with them why I was not going to
purchase their popcorn. Such discourse is the necessary work
of justice as we LGBTQ parents care for, love and do everything
in our power to provide our children with the most incredible
life possible.;:
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Oct. 30-Nov. 12.2010 qnotes 23