Newspapers / Q-notes (Charlotte, N.C.) / July 9, 2011, edition 1 / Page 5
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by leslie robinson :: qnotes contributor Let my people kiss Among the security guards at Target Field in Minneapolis, one stands out for his over riding moral concerns. The fellow is a little tin Moses and the stadium is his Mount Sinai. With mustard and relish. Taylor Campione and Kelsi Culpepper en countered him when they decided to take in a Minnesota Twins game on May 27. According to City Pages, the young women arrived a little late to the game and Culpepper headed for the restroom, first giving her girlfriend a quick peck. A middle-aged security guard im mediately walked toward Campione, shaking his head. "I saw you kissing that girl, you can't do that," he said. "I can kiss whoever I want to," she retorted, showing quicker reflexes than most infielders. "Well, we don't play grab ass here," said the guard. If the women shared only a quick kiss as they claim, this man's sense of anatomy leaves something to be desired. He must think catchers squat on their ears. Campione told Culpepper what had trans pired and Culpepper confronted the guard, saying, "I don't understand what's wrong with kissing my girlfriend." After some arguing, the security guard de clared, "Well here in the stadium, we adhere to the 10 Commandments." That one would've left me speechless. I wouldn't have known whether to laugh, shriek or look around for Charlton Heston. What I do know is there is no command ment about kissing, same-sex or otherwise. So, which commandments was the man talking about? Which ones do they adhere to at Target Field? I suspect these are the Target 10 Commandments: 1. You shall have no other team but the Twins. Even if they're in the cellar and playing like Muppets. 2. You shall have no other idols beyond Joe Mauer. You shall not bow down to Alex Rodriguez, Joey Votto or Big Papi, nor clothe yourself in their T-shirts or jerseys. 3. You shall not swear. At least not out loud. If the Twins hit into five double plays in one game, cursing under your breath is acceptable. 4. You shall keep the Sabbath day holy by attending a Sunday game and praying like crazy fora win. 5. You shall honor your father and mother by bringing them to the ballpark. Contact a service representative for more informa tion on the special "Honor Your Parents, Pay for Their Tickets" package. 6. You shall not murder. Even if the guy behind you spills his Landshark Lager and soft shell tacos on you during the seventh inning stretch. 7. You shall not be gay and commit a display of affection. Try a National League park for that. 8. You shall not steal. But the team damn well better. 9. You shall not lie about being old enough to drink. If you attempt to deceive. Twins mascot T.C. Bear will stone you with pea nuts and cheese curds. 10. You shall not covet your neighbor's ass, your wife's ass or anybody's ass, for grab ass is not played at Target Field. However, teammates shall whack the ass of any player who hits a grand slam. These must be the commandments the se curity guard was thinking of when he scolded the lesbians. If he had carried two laminated stone tablets in his wallet to whip out on such occasions, things might've gone easier. Campione and Culpepper are filing a complaint with the Minnesota Department of Human Rights. It's unknown whether the guard is filing a’complaintwith God. The man has received a verbal and written reprimand for his "unacceptable" behavior, said a Twins spokesman. He's still on the job, so anyone he catches misbehaving at Target Field will be subject to ejection and locusts.:: info: LesRobinson@aol.com. generalgayety.com drag rag by miss della :: qnotes contributor Heavens to Betsy...the tea is overflowing on the pageant scene! Welcome backfriends, and Happy late 4th (bythe time you read this)! Hope you made some fireworks of your own. I come to you again with some things that I'm excited to talk about, like new pageants and new people. I'll start by mentioning the nice time I had in Dayton, OH, when I went up to see my first All-American Goddess pageant at Club Masque. I had a great time visiting with the reigning Miss At-Large, Dena Cass, now living in Florida by way of Iowa, and my good sis Kelexis Davenport, a former Miss AAG at Large, who recognized me on the mic and found me a front row seat That's a good sister, but she's always such a doll to me — when she's not applying more paint Hal I also ran into the man of my dreams, Paul Lopez, and the child whom I wrote about three summers ago, Leyla Edwards O'Hara, who is a former Miss TX FFI and TX U.S.ofA. I'd never seen the baby out of drag and here was this hot little piece of Mexican-American trade. Brooke Divine LaReese was like, "That's Leyla, mama!" I was floored — cute boy, gorgeous queen. Life is truly not fair. After two nights of preliminary competition and many numbers bythe titleholders and special guests Celeste Holmes and Jennifer Warner, the Top 12 was announced: Chanel Cartier, Michelle Fighter, Shae Shae LaReese, Brittney Moore, Jasmine International, Summer H. Knight, Chanel Van Cartier, 4th RU Mya Campbell Cassadine, 3rd RU Cartier Paris, 2nd RU Nina DeAngelo, 1st RU Aurora Sexton and winner, from Indianapolis, Alana Steele. The ole girl turned it out in Talent; she sent the chirrens left, baby. I must say, it seemed to be stiff competi tion and the outcome was very fair. Although I don't personally care for downtown Dayton, I will definitely go back to see this contest. You may recall there is a preliminary here at Scorpio in December and I hear there may even be a Stars of AAG before then. Keep your eyes peeled — there'll be plenty of advertisement! Since I did mention Miss TX FFI previously, here I am packing my bags to go out to judge the Miss and the At Large once more, this time in San Antonio. I'll get to see Kelexis and Layla LaRue, maybe Alyssa Edwards, if I'm lucky, and I'll be judging right beside the child whom I helped crown that hot summer night back in 2008 — Leyla, but it'll be Alan (her creator) instead. Who can say excited? Here's hoping her little brother Edgar comes too! I've just gotten home from Hickory for a few nights as I judged Miss and Mr. Unlimited At Large at Club Cabaret. I had a great time. I was able to spend some more time with the current Miss Classique, Erica Martinez, whom I met in Dayton, and I feel so cheated that I never knew her before. This is an old-school, rhinestone lady, painted for the Mason-Dixon Line. OMG, I almost cried when I saw her close-up for the first time. Amazing is all I can say and such a sweet person, as was her partner, Chris, and sister, Pam. Good Cleveland folks, just like Miss Erica's promoter, Felix Correa, who is a former Mr. Unlimited At Large and Bear! Anyway, congrats are going out to Holden Michaels and Loretta L'Amour who were relinquishing said titles and congrats are also going out to Ivy White who won the Miss title and Jerry Trollinger who won the Mr. Their RUs were, for the Miss, Paisley Parque (sick-o-ning gown!) and Harmony Breeze, and for the Mr., Tommy D. Michaels.Funny — I kinda felt like I was at a Kirby Kolby Fan Convention, but that's another story. And, speaking of Miss America, Coti Collins has a great interview on the Miss America website that a guy did with her, but if you go back further, you will read one she did with former MGA and drag goddess Rachel Wells. There are links there to old tales of when Rachel was coming into her own and winning everything she wanted to and inter views with other drag superstars of the past — please look them up and know your history! Coti has been to two more prelims recently. Miss AZ which Celia Putty won (talk about a blast from the past!) and Western States, which Erica Chandler won. Prelim winners to Miss NC America, coming up in August, include Miss Charlotte Victoria Victors and RU Valarie Rockwell, Miss Hickory Jayda Clyne and RU Miss Understood, and Capital City Andrea "Chocolate" Carlisle and RU Felicia Monet. By the time I'm back from San Antonio, Jujubee and Erika Norell will have already been to the Scorpio in Charlotte. That's where we'll pick up the next go 'round, along with tea from Miss Texas!:: info: Drop me a line, OK? The TeaMissD@yahoo. com iMMMi r if 't July 9-22.2011 qnotes 5
Q-notes (Charlotte, N.C.)
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July 9, 2011, edition 1
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