on being a
gay parent
by Brett Webb-Mitchel!
qnotes contributor
The D.C.-N.C. Connection
What do North Carolina lesbian and gay
couples do when the laws of the state make
adopting a child by both people in a same-sex
relationship nearly impossible? Where do
they go when the laws and constitution of NC
make it impossible for LGBTQ couples to wed,
let alone live in a domestic partnership or civil
union of any kind, shape or form? Where do
gay couples in a significant long-term rela
tionship go when they are desirous of being
dads through surrogacy? Where do lesbian
or gay couples go if they want to have both of
their names on their infant's birth certificate?
Simple: North Carolina individuals or couples
go to Washington, D.C.I Washington, D.C. has
become the marriage and birth sanctuary or
haven for many North Carolina LGBTQ indi
viduals and couples who wishTo wed, have
receptions, give birth to a child or have a child
through surrogacy.
I know I’m a little slow on trends, but this
is a definite trend. It was unbeknownst to me
until the last few weeks when "D.C." started
to arise when talking to gay and lesbian
couples who were either getting married,
having a child, adopting a child or having a
child through surrogacy. The first inkling about
D.C. being the hot place to marry came about
when I looked through the photo album of a
recently married couple of men who are gay
and deaf. I realized that I knew three or four
other couples who had recently wed in D.C.
This led to the second "aha" moment when
talking to a lesbian couple who were wed
in D.C., claimed "residency" in the city itself
before they were wedded (and have recently
moved to N.C.), and plan to go back "up" to
D.C. when their child (they are expectant
parents) is born. Why D.C.? Because both
names of the mothers can be on the birth
certificate when a child is born in a D.C.
hospital. I've now known three North Carolina
lesbian couples who had their child in D.C. for
this very reason. And, their N.C. families gladly
trooped up to the city to celebrate the festive
day of birth, in which the caravan then came
back down with a new citizen of N.C.
Lastly, a gay friend and his new partner
. Views
goqnotes.com/to/views
who have both always wanted a child have
been working with lawyers and a surrogacy
service in D.C., and they are expecting a
child in October 2013. Will they be recognized
as the "moms" and "dads" legally in N.C.?
Apparently, there is already legal precedent
in N.C. for recognizing either gay or lesbian
parents when children born in other cities and
states where it is legal to have both dads and
both moms on the birth certificate.
"Necessity" and "desire" are the "moth
er" of invention, says the old tired cliche. And,
on this matter. I'm glad that North Carolinians
who love living in this state have found a way
of both fulfilling their desire to. be parents
and securing their rights as parents through
other creative means. I hope other wannabe
couples and parents take advantage when
other states are seeing the inevitable reality
of this country, that we, who are LGBTQI,are
slowly but surely becoming equal citizens of
these United States.::
community voices
by Kisha Fox and Nicole Grier
Positi\/e growth through community service
Greetings, from the respectful women of
Chi Psi Omega Fraternity, Inc.! An organiza
tion that, while still very young, has begun
to turn up the heat in the LGBTQ community.
Born on June 25,2011, by four distinct women
— Roberta Kerr, Melinda Dixon, Samantha
Mercer and Diana Nutter—Chi Psi Omega is
a positive space for dominant lesbian women
to promote equality and awareness in the
LGBTQ community. Since establishment,
the organization prides itself on community
service outreach.
The organization’s
One Community Cares
project began in 2011
and progressed into a
community-wide effort
to assist the area
homeless by collect
ing and distributing
toiletries and non-
perishable foods to Ill——
the homeless. Over 300 care packages were
distributed through Crisis Assistance Ministry
Free Store and the Men's Shelter to the city's
homeless community during the project. The
care packages included socks, gloves, lotion,
deodorant, shampoo/conditioner, toothbrush/
"I am honored to be a part of an orga
nization that not only embraces each other,
but embraces the community with the same
level of honor. This organization provides an
opportunity for dominant lesbian women to
better themselves, inside and out! l am a Chi
Psi Omega woman, and will be until I die."
— Kisha Fox
paste, soap and other hygiene-related prod
ucts. The gratitude on the faces of the people
at each of these locations is unexplainable.
The experience shared was life-changing and
concluded 2012 on an extremely high note.
Chi Psi Omega also adopted Hamilton
St. and neighboring streets located in the
NC Music Factory area. Each quarter, those
streets are cleaned as part of the Keep
Charlotte Beautiful initiative. Every third
Sunday of the month we present Spoken
Word Sunday in the
private room of Wet
Willie's. This is a
monthly fundraiser
hosted as an open
micto allow the
community to come
out and share their
talents. The organiza
tion's Back to School
[jrjve stails evory year
around May and runs through August. This is
a time where school supplies are collected;
funds are raised through carwashes.
Last June, the organization began
quarterly community forums at the LGBT
Community Center. The forums are the organi
zation's gift back to community because they
are free to attend and local professionals are
brought in to form the panel to discuss various
topics of concern to the LGBTQ community.
Past forums consisted of topics ranging from
safe sexto domestic violence. In September
of 2012, Chi Psi '
Omega was honored
to be a part of the
Democratic National
Convention by spon
soring qnotesl cover
age of this historic
event for Charlotte.
Chi Psi Omega
is also growing!
Our membership
has more than doubled since incorporation.
The first membership line. The New Edition,
crossed in the Spring of 2012 bringing Tania
Cox, Christina Whitner and Devon Copeland
into an incredible movement. In December
2012, two new women were added to Chi Psi
Omega Fraternity, Inc.'s journey to bridge gaps
in society and within the LGBTQ community
itself. Kisha Fox and Nicole Grier became the
Dynamic Duo, adding to the elite group of
women who are changing the meaning of ser
vice within the LGBTQ community and abroad.
This year, Chi Psi Omega will host its
annual I Am You Campaign beginning in
March. I Am You is an anti-bullying cam
paign which runs until the end of the school
"I joined Chi Psi Omega Fraternity to be
apart of a movement that is changing the
LGBTQ community as a whole. These women
have taught me the importance of self and
the importance of sharing with others that are
less fortunate. I am most humbled to represent
these meaningful colors of green and yellow."
— Nicole Grier
year and brings awareness of the impact
of bullying through assemblies at local
schools. Assemblies consist of a Charlotte-
Mecklenburg Police officer and a licensed
therapist teaching children the importance
of bullying awareness and prevention. Last
year, Kennedy Charter
Schools hosted the I
Am You Campaign. The
campaign was such a
success that Kennedy
Charter began an
in-house anti-bullying
program after the
school recognized the
need. Chi Psi Omega
Fraternity, Inc. is cur
rently seeking other schools with a need for
this program to mentor students on bullying to
host the. I Am You Campaign.
Please, visit our website, chipsiomega
fraternity.org, for more information on the
organization or to apply for membership.;:
—Kisha Fox, a native of Charlotte, and Nicole
Grier, a native of Nashville, Tenn., are members of
Chi Psi Omega Fraternity, Inc. Grier graduated from
Independence High School in 1994 and is currently
enrolled at Central Piedmont Community College
studying business. She is the owner of SMOKN-G's
Catering and Event Planning Services. Fox gradu
ated high school in 2000 and attended the University
of North Carolina-Charlotte, where she studied
kinesiology and interdisciplinary health studies.
BUILD
THROUGH
u
print and online advertising solutions
with qnotes and goqnotes.com
free web presence with
every print ad
call or email us today
704.531.9988
adsales@goqnotes.com
Feb. 15-28.2013 qnotes 5