Saturday, October 17, 1942
CLOUDBUSTER
Pag-e Three
Musings Over the Mormg Muster
By Mr. Feather-Merchant
Exercise is a wonderful thing. I
have never denied it, and have even
helped to support it. I have a minia
ture mountain of ticket stubs rang
ing in price from two-bits to three rus
tles of the long green folding stuff to
prove that I love exercise.
Long ago in one of those Golden
Gloves affairs I was struck simultane
ously by a haymaking right cross to
the eye and a realization that I was
the studious, not athletic type. There
after I always bought a ticket and dis
covered the superiority of successful
shouting over attempted clouting.
I joined the Navy. It was decided
soon thereafter that all enlisted men
must exercise daily.
Who, me? . . .
The next morning at seven-thirty—
a time that had existed for me only in
the vague legends of brave souls who
stayed up all night to discover it—I
was huddled forlornly on the stone wall
that faces Raleigh Street. I was not
alone, for the stern voice of duty had
called the entire crew to face the worse-
than-death fate. Our hopelessness
was darker than the darkness-before-
dawn that shrouded us.
One tremulous voice rose in the
gloom: “For nearly 30 years I haven’t
touched my toes without bending my
knees. I’m proud of that record and
I intend to keep it.”
A record, among other things, was
broken that morning amid a bedlam of
grunts and creaking joints.
We fell into formation. Presently
came those awesome words, “Prepare
the divisions for physical drills.”
A huge and imposing figure in shorts
appeared. At first glimpse, I thought
I recognized Charles Atlas. Then I re
alized my mistake. This officer was
bigger. Subsequent and slightly awed
inquiry revealed him as Lt. (j.g.) G.
C. Emerson, erstwhile all-pro football
league guard. I reflected, “If exercise
will give me muscles like that, it’s al
most worth it. Almost.”
He boomed out, “Double arm inter
val, dress right.” Then, “Right face.”
I’m a feather-merchant. Most of my
military training was in the Boy
Scouts ,* and a little I gleaned from idly
watching the National Guard in the
days when it was fashionable to poke
fun at the boys who could see a bit fur
ther into the future than the rest of us.
It was not that I didn’t understand the
commands; I had dabbled a trifle in
languages, including English. But my
feet never had become educated. I
tripped and nearly fell.
Mr. Emerson wasted no time in this-
hurts-me-more-than-it-hurts-you ora
tions. He got right down to business,
which meant giving us the business.
On the first bend I waved sociably at
my toes from a distance, murmuring,
“Ne’er the twain shall meet.” But
they did. Mr. Emerson saw to that. I
made it on the fifth try. And then I
couldn’t straighten up again.
He had an amazing repertoire of
muscle stretchers that would have been
useful in the days of the Inquisition.
Grunts of anguish were torn from us
as unknown muscles protested.
He said, “Throw out the chest on
that backward bend!”
He threw out his own chest for dem
onstration. Being in the first ranks, I
shied off in self defense, uncertain as
to where that chest was going to stop
expanding.
The final exercise followed the com
mand, “Arms sideways and upward,
feet apart with a jump.” So I jumped
and flapped my arms, recalling between
jars a toy monkey on a stick I once
owned. Had some grind-organ oper
ator wandered past in search of a per
former, I am sure a new and brilliant
career would have opened for me at
that moment.
At the final, blessed command, “Dis
missed!” I crawled to the building. In
the days that followed, I discovered
that due to the fortunate arrangement
of trees between the street and Alex
ander Hall, there was no necessity for
undignified crawling.
My muscles became supple and
tough. So Mr. Emerson figured out
new exercises that reached as yet un
touched muscles. Most unpopular of
these is the “Russian Ballet,” so named
in honor of Joseph Geletka, Sk. 3c (re
cently elevated to lieutenant, junior
grade) and performed from a precari
ous “Knees-bend” position.
There was one ray of hope; some
morning my prayers might be answered
with rain. Seas of moisture descended
on Chapel Hill, but none at 0700.
Then one morning I awoke to the merry
music of raindrops on the roof. A dis
mal, dark, rainy, beautiful morning. I
waded toward Alexander, feeling in
deed that “Every cloud hath its silver
lining.”
At 0725 the rain ceased miraculous
ly. We exercised.
And then came the cold snap. It
was bitter cold, colder than Longfel
low’s Hiawathan Winter. Even while
I shivered through extra underwear,
I smiled a frozen smile. It was too
cold for exercise.
But there on Raleigh Street waited
the statuesque Lt. (j.g.) G. C. Emer
son, nattily attired in a pair of shorts,
smiling in appreciation of our South
ern climate.
The weeks went by. The fresh air
my lungs accepted so reluctantly in
the morning did not poison me, as I
had feared. Either my trousers were
stretching, or my waistline was shrink-
Jefferson Standard Life Insurance Company
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136 Franklin Street—Phone 9876
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With Your Insurance Program
Navy Discloses
Data on Captured
Zero Fighter Plane
Preliminary testing of a Japanese
Zero fighter captured in the Aleutian
Islands by American forces has pro
duced figures indicating that the fam
ous enemy plane is by no means the
“superplane” some observers have
claimed it is.
The Mitsubishi ’00, which was sal
vaged after being only slightly dam
aged when forced down in the Aleu
tians, was repaired and flown through
initial trials at the Naval Air Sta
tion, San Diego, Cal., before being
moved to the NAS at Anacostia, D. C.,
for exhaustive examination into its
performance characteristics.
The Navy, in reporting acquisition
of the Zero, disclosed information in
dicating that the much publicized Jap
plane has shown both strong points
and weaknesses in the tests held so far.
In preliminary trials, the Navy re
port stated, “the Zero developed a top
speed of slightly less than 300 mph.,”
adding, however, that later tests may
increase this speed somewhat.
“The Zero shows to best advantage
in a dogflght where tight turns make
high speeds impossible,” the Navy an
nouncement declared. “Then its ma
neuverability and climbing speed come
into play.
“Around 200 mph. the Zero is very
light on the controls, but at higher
speeds the controls become stiff. Above
225 mph., the Zero will not make a fast
roll because of this stiffness. At 380
mph., in a dive, the Zero develops
marked flutter and vibration, which
may be inherent or due to some unde
tected disalignment caused by its
rough handling in the Aleutians.
“Otherwise the Zero is a stable, easy-
to-fly plane with generally good flying
characteristics. Its lightness is not
gained by flimsy construction, as it is
well designed. The lack of self-sealing
tanks and armor protection for the pi
lot, which mainly accounts for its light
ness, have made its over-all combat
record against the Navy’s Grumman
Wildcat a poor one. The Zero’s empty
weight is 3,781 pounds and its combat
ing. My food tasted better. I finally
realized that the gleam in Mr. Emer
son’s eye was simple good humor in
stead of sadistic ferocity.
Last Sunday came the acid test. I
competed for a table in a Chapel Hill
restaurant, where might makes right
and missing a meal is fatal because it
leaves one too weak to battle for his
food at the next chow hour. I captured
and held against all comers the best
table in the house.
Verily, exercise is a worker of
miracles.
Of course, it can never quite repair
what a passion for cocoanut pie has
done to my figure over the years; but I
can now retrieve a fallen chest and for
a number of magnificent moments ap
pear quite military.
I was admiring the new posture be
fore a mirror the other day, and idly
murmured without false modesty, “The
Navy builds men.”
A Yeoman passed and added
thoughtfully, “Usually.”
In the plaintive words of E. N. Lo
gan, Y 2c, “He could have accumulated
six hash marks and never said that.”
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WOOTTEN-MOULTON PHOTOGRAPHERS
Know the Enemy^s Planes
—: JAPANESE MITSUBISHI DARAI BOMBER—
as
The Japanese Mitsubishi Darai 108, presented here as the sixteenth in
a series by the Aeronautical Chamber of Commerce of America, is a light
twin-engine bomber with motors mounted somewhat out of parallel to each
other. Its rounded-tip wings are more tapered on the trailing edge than on
the leading edge, and its nose extends but little farther forward than its
radial engines. Another feature is that its wing span considerably exceeds
the ship's over-all length.
weight, without belly tank, is approxi
mately 5,200 pounds.”
The armament of the captured Zero
consists of two 22-millimeter, low-ve-
locity cannon, one mounted in each
wing, with 60 rounds of ammunition,
and two 7.7 machine guns, with 500
rounds each, in the nose to fire through
the propeller disk.
Over-all length of the Zero is 30 feet,
three inches, its wing span 39 feet, five
inches. The wings are hinged two feet
from the tips to allow folding for easier
carrier handling. The cockpit would
be uncomfortably small for most of
our pilots, the Navy said.
The 900 hp. radial engine in the Zero
is a 14-cylinder, double-row design us
ing modifications or direct adoption of
many features found in our Pratt &
Whitney and Wright engines. The
propeller is a three-bladed, constant
speed, hydraulic type identical with
the Hamilton model. Radio equipment
in the plane is copied after Fairchild
units.
When salvaged, the Zero was painted
a smooth light grey tinted with blue
and light green, a coloring selected for
operations in the foggy Aleutian area.
It has been repainted in U. S. Navy
colors.
Plans call for the Zero to be flown
RADIOS FOR RENT
BOOKS FOR SALE
The
Intimate Bookshop
Main Street, 0pp. the Campus
from San Diego to Anacostia, as it is
not considered feasible to dissemble
it for shipping.
NAVY UNIFORMS
DESERVE
Good Dry Cleaning
Why not send yours
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Phone 5841
Uniforms!
Khaki, Blue & White
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WHITE SHIRTS AND
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Regulation
NAVY SHOES AND
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Hickok Cuff Links, Braces and Belts
KHAKI UNIPOKM BUTTONS
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167 E. Franklin St.
Oct. 10, 1942—One Day Nearer Victory