Hot Off the Hoover … /
May 1, 1943, edition 1 /
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give the old gal a visual going-over from stem to stern and when satisfied, he
stepped back vdth a deteinined gleam in his eye and remarked to everyone at large ^
'•Next time I run me off a batcha* corn lildccr, I*m agonna* buy me one of them thar
IM LIY OPBIION, IT ITILL BS a long, long tirne before the people in this little
village will ever forget the staccato exhaust, the big v;histle on the little train
- the Lawndale Railway and Industrial company.
^ ^ ^5- ^'c -K- ^ -j;- -)$•
L/iST v.lLL OF i\DOL?H HITL]®
I, Adolph Hitler , being of unsound -oind and r.iisery, and considering the possibility
of a fatal accident' knov/n as assassination, dcclare this to be r.iy last (you hope,
you hope) will end tostanent.
To RUSSIA, I leave the Russian \7inter where I'sy bravo Aryan sailors froze their
Imots off* Just when we expected to land Deep In The Heart of lioscow.
To PEAIICE, I leave all the beautiful Iladoiioiselles in occupied Paris. I tjqs NEVER
the one for girls. iTHOOPSn
To EMGL/\1ID, I leave the original r.ianuscript of IIEIN ICAiiPF, which their R.A.F,'
spoiled. I had vn?itten a different finish,but their fliers got no in the end.
To KOEIAY, I leave i:iy advice for any potential Quislings, To wit, "There's no
social security for the wages of sin."
To POLi\liD, I leave a 16x10 gold-framed photc^graph of riyself to hang in their public
schools to scare the hell out of .any Icid \ifho night TIUM along Natzi lines.
To /\liERICA, I leave Walter v^inchell v;ho always said, "To HEIL with Hitler*" I know
he’ll be very busy on r-iy funeral day so he»d better not cone—Business before pleasur
To GOEBELS and GOIiRING, I leave 30 iiillion riarks (Tvvo Dollars) to buy a gift for ny
ilother and Father vjho are getting liarried the day I die.
To FRxU^KLIN D. ROOSEVELT, I leave ny apology for interrupting his fishing, but he
got even, , .
To COUNT CI/iNO,son-in-law of liussolini, I leave the Victoria Cross for bringing
down in ONE day, 41 bombers and 72 fighters—all ITiVLL'U'I,
To \ENSTOH CHURCHILL, I leave a box of ;jatches. I never yet saw his cigars lit.
Besides, who’ll need matches where I’a going in Hades?
To IiUSSOLIImT, I leave my Chaplin mustache, which ho is to nialco into a toupo for
his ivory done.
To GEI'JERiiL llac/JilTHUR, I leave money for ny to.ibstono with this epitah:
EEIOT liBEIffiy I JIIY no
HERE LIES HITLER BY THE TOE
UlDi3HJE/*TH HE SEELiS TO SAY’
"IT luiSTER THE U.S.A.!"
im TO THE ElITIP^ V;ORLD, I JUST LaiVE,;j:D v/ILL THEY GOD’’
Hot Off the Hoover Rail
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