Hot Off the Hoover … /
Sept. 1, 1943, edition 1 /
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Well, don't you all fiirgit to vote in the party gal contest. They air a-gona'
put the purtiest too gals pj.tchers on the front page of the "Huver Rail," an* that
will be sumpthin fur you fellers to decide, so don't forgit to vote.
Well, so long fur this time.
Yore Ole Fri*nd
^ .54. ^ .
(The following is a letter which we received from Jirs, "Goofy Gink")
It is with grate humilation and red face that i rite this. Plese don’t think
hard uv me and ray little innercent chilren fer the arful ness "Googy" makes at
riting. The pore old feller means well but he jest hain’t got no edgycashun. i tole
him to git sum one to rite it fer him and not try it his self but he said he thote
his manyscriptz wood git by if all thira uthor Huver Rale riters could make it. If
pore "Goofy" wood only mind what he sez about fokes. vVhy h it wuz plum sacrilige
how he contam-mated Miz Mauncys an' Mia Wesson's singin'. Imo gonna' hafto a-poUy-
gize to them fer it. I wuz so humidified when i seed it. i hain*t been so distorted
over ennything sence ray graniiiaw wu.z burried with her straw hat on. She said she
wanted something to fan granpaw vjith when she got there. She was alius so kind an'
th ough ty an' lookin' ahead an' tryin' to do fer uthors, Ime glad we hain't got
but one boy. Ide hate ter no the ignerent Gink name wood go on an* on an' on fer
ever, i done tolc ray boy that before he gits maryed to have a long talk with Hers-
hel Hord er Pete Nogle er Pits Rollins er some out staniin' man like that an* with
teers slidin' down his fase, he pronized me he wood. Now i no it hain't rite to
unboast yer ovm husbin' an' ime not meanin* no harm, but i don't want you boys to
thank to hard uv Goofy fer he meens well. Sumtimes i think about leavin' him, but
i no i f i did, Pearl Carpenter er Carrie Lee Weaver wood grab him an* ime done
broke in to his waze an* faultz so why let an' uther pore woman have to go thru
the same fait.
The uther day x wuz goin’ by cuzin' Jose Eakers an' she kept sayin', "Hello-
Hell-ow" an' i dident see her ennywhar so i hollered an' ast her whut she wanted,
but she kept sayin*,"Hell-o" so i runned in an' thar she sot on a stule with sum
things stuck over years kinda* like Dockturs use to lissen to sea if yore hart is
stil beatin' sos they can toll whuther you air daid er utherwize. Well thar she
sot sayin', "Hello" an* stickin' plugs in a big box. She tole me to shet ray blamed
mouth fer she wuz tryin' to git Dubble Sholes for a man. i tole her to send fer 5
er 6 uv you soljer boys an* you cud go git Dubble Sholes an' fetch it up to the
man. uv corse i viuz only actin' but she diden* have mo fuled enny. i weren*t borned
yistiddy. The univernished truth about it vfuz that she had Ralf*s medikal appy-
ratus out an* ivuz playin’ Docktur an* i ambarraced her by ketchin' her in the ackt.
i wuz in the Curapiny Stoar the uther day an' sum one wuz standin' behine me
talkin'. i thote it vaiz a kolored man but when i gota whiff uv gad smellin' kolone
i turned 'round an} to my constarnashun, it vmz liiz Hart, big as life an' twise as
nachral. She shore is a frindly wuman. She alius speeks to me even when i hain't
had time to change ray apern er wash my fase an* her husbin* werks in a offis an*
that*s sumpthin* fer Shannin Blanton an* Fred Dinton an* Forest V/alker duz sum-
pthin' er uther in sura uv them little offises an* if they have on clene briches
an' a sea gar they won't hardly speck to Mr, Schenck an' that hurts me fer ive
alius thote so well uv Unkle John an' i vmz brung up to bo kind to our elders fer
we mite bo elders sum time.
Now ive gotta stop an* bug ray beans an* flee the cat an* chern, but pleae
don't be off—ended at pore ole Goofey*s ritings fer ho jest kain*t hep it 'cause
he wuz bornod that a-way an* had a relaps.
"Miz Goofy Gink"
Hot Off the Hoover Rail
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