SECOND , HAMD TALES By - Professor M. L. Turner (Some re-Avritten - some just told — some new - some old) Several weeks ago Charles Forney, Jr, v/as discovered by his wife one night standing over his baby's crib. Silently she watched him. As he stood looking dovm at the sleeping infant, she saw in hi s face a mixture of emotions r rapture, doubt, admiration, despair, ecstacy, incredulity. Touched -and wondering alike at this unusual parental attitude and the conflict ing emotions Mrs, Forney with eyes glistening arose and slipped her arms around Charles. "A penny for your thou^ts", she said, in a voice tremulous. He blurted them out: "For the life of me, I can’t see how anybody can make a crib like that for three forty-nine," The other day a certain lady rent into the coiipony store and asked Mr, Parker if he had any fresh eggs for sale, Mr. Parker called out: "Charlie, feel of those eggs and see if they are cool enough to sell". Girl on the Lawndale bus-"Mr, Hunt we are packed like sardines in here. Can*t you do something to prevent our being crushed?" Mr, Hunt- "Certainly, number off the passengers cind then make the even numbers breathe in while the odd numbers breathe out." ’ . A woman traveling by train was talking with a man in the next seat. In describ ing her holiday, she said that she had visited San Jose, "You pronounce that v;rong," srdd the man, "It is San Hosay, In California you should pronounce all J*s as H’s, 7'ihen were you there?" The woman thought a minute, then ansv;ered, "In Hune and Huly," Mr, Southards- "Haven't’ I shaved you before?" Customer- "No, I got that scar in France," "It v;as so cold where v;e vjere," boasted the Artie explorer, "that the candle froze and v/e couldn't blov; it out," "That's nothing" siiid his rival, "\'/here we were the v^ords came out of our mouths in pieces of ice, pjid we had to fry them to see what we were talking about," An evangelist was exhorting his hearers to flee the wrath to come, "I warn you," he thundered, "that there will be weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth," At this point an old lady in the gallery stood up, "Sir," she shouted, "I have no teeth," "l^adam," roared the evangelist, "teeth will be provided," , Mr, Clay to Tom Forney- "How late do you usually sleep on Sunday morning?" "It all'depends," replied Tom, "Depends on v/hat", said Mr, Clay, "The len^h of the ser mon," was Tom's rejoinder, Elizabeth Bridges- "Accertain young man sent me some flowers this morning," A close friend "Don't say a certain young man; my dear. There is none of them cer tain until you've got them," (Continued on next page)

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