THE OFriCE OV/L By ~ Mrs, F.L, Rollins You all have a right to be proud of your home town, for we certainly put the Bond Drive over the top and went ;//ay over in our V/ar Relief Drive. Even the Shelby Daily Star had us in the headlines several days, y/e are so patriotic now that a country boy from out in the foot hills come in to sign up for work and when the Social Security Clerk asked him what county he v;as born in, he replied, in a very loud Le, ”The United States.” V/e carry so many different kinds of insurance some of the -employees get mixed up. A certain fellow came in Wtinting to sign up for Travelers Insurance and said, ”I v^ant to sign fur that Traveling Insurance.” Shelt Feimster was asked why he didn’t take out a policy on his life and Shelt replied, ”No Suh, not me, I ain’t none too safe at home as it is, F^ed Beam, ”Doodle” Laughlin, and Sam Jeffres were all in the store drinking a dope and shooting a little bull, and ”Doodle’^ said that .when he was on a trip sometime ago he was so dressed'up that some one pointed'him out as-President Roosevelt.- Fred Beam said that v^hen he attended a football gamfe in Durjiam a few weeks ago somebody .mistook ,Him for W4jistori Churchill and Sam Jeff res piped-* up. with,’ ’’l^at.’s''nothing, I was ^standing on, a s''trcet corner in Shelby last Saturday, ^d-a. cop■ dime along and said to me^ ”Holy Mosesare you here again.” ' - •!. ■ ■; ; L'Ir.John F, Schenck, Jr., made a hurried business trip to'Nevr York City .last summer, and, of course, tho trains y/ere crovi/ded to the limit. L!r. Schenck Was purchas ing his ticket to return hone aM bought 'the'-very last ticket fqr that train. Right behind him a dear old lady burst into tears as. she told the ticket~a^nt that she just had to go to Charlotte, N.C’., as she had some very sick rolative3 thel*e,-^Mr.. Schenck was deeply touched ai:d gave the old lady his ticket; but I must say we were'rather confused in the office the next day to receive a telegram that read as follows:”\VILL BE DAY UTE JUST GAVE BSRTH TO /iN OLD LADY.” • We are all glad that Hr, Geo. Hart is getting along nicely after an operation in Shelby Hospital. ”He caii give you all .the low-down now on the hospital. He said right ai’ter he was operated on he was jiretty groggy and talked, off key quite a bit 2ind lirs. Hart became frightened and called Di*. Schenck and said,”Doctor, my husband is wander ing in his mind, what shall I do?” Dr. Sam answer, rather sleepily, ”Don’t let that viorry you for I know your husband, he can’t go-far.” Another day i^Ir, Hart relates that Dr, Schenck carae and said to him, ”George, you have been a mighty sick nan. In fact, I aay say it was your strong constitution that pulled you through.” Mr. Hart said he told him tfiat he certainly trusted he would remember that v/hen he made out his bill, . ' ' ■ •*' . . . . Miss Pearl Sweezie just sniffs /ivhon anyone' suggests that it is too bad she does not have a husband. She said,”I have a dog-that grov/ls; a parrot that swears5 a fire place that smokes;and a cat that stays out all night. .^Vhat' would I want with a husband'i ”AN OLD M/iID’S HlilYER” ' ' ‘'._n old naid knelt beneath a maple; tree ‘The’bird"awoke with a sullen stare, • And she prayed long and ferventily, Then suddenly he cried, too,\Vhoo,^''moo, A hoot ov/l sat up in the maple tree Ttius to herself did the old maid speak, A very jovial ovjI was he, , So badly scared she was faint and v/eak. But at the sound of the old maid’s prayer But she answered, ”Dear me, I hardly know Most.anybody Lord will do.” who

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