A • f ^0/ r=r I r* o ecojNd hand, tale r' /l:^ By: Professor M,L. Turner "Res^" in Peace" The florist was I^e following appeared in the American Girl Magazine and no doubt all of our soldiers will ■agree with the little Yanlcee school boy. A small boy of foreign parentage remarked one day, in the schoolj^ard, that the American flag looked like a ^ j ^ ^ peppermint stick.; "liaybe. it does, " replied his Yankee schoplmate,'.'blit: you\d better not try to *7'/ ii'Gk it.!' • . / / ■ Hi's relat^^vek telephoned .ta, the .nearest florist's. - The ribbon must be extra wide,' with on both sides, and-if there_^ was room, "V/e .fhall Meet in Heaven."- away andf'his new assistant handled the job. There was .a sensation . when the'jflowers turned; up at the funeral., The ribbon was extra wide, indeed> ^d on it was inscription'; "Rest in peace on both sides, and, , if there is room, we shall meet -in heaven," ‘ ■ 'r, • ■' -r Some time ago Dwight Hord ivas trying to .complete a. certain government form dp;vn at .‘chapel. Hi^U.. Said Dwight, "I don't know-how to. fill out this question." "V/hat is it?" said ;a friend. |'It says,'! replied. Dwight,"'IVho was your, .mother, before, she was married?' md J didn.‘t-have £uay mother before she was, marrie^ii" . Recently a cortain Laymd'ale lady went into the .postr-pffice cmd^ purchased a. „ postage stamp, "Must. I-stick it on inyself?" she asked,;. "Qh,, no,"• said Mr. I^tnan-,,™^. "It vjiii accomplish more, if'you .stick it, on the envelope," ■ . . ; . ' Strange things somet^cs happen. There is the stpry^ of-the mjm whose life had jdied’. On the way. to the.- cemotery; the carriage containing; the body ran over an un usually rough place in the. road. ,^s - a result the casket - slid out of the vehicle and: began to roll dowjp., a very steep-hill. Over and over;, it turned. Finallj?' the casket, was brought to a sudden stop when; it hit a large tree that stood in its path. The^ impact caused the lid of the casket: to fly, o^n. And behold the woman in the casket sat up and was alivG once more. S)ne returned to her home and lived T.ith her husband for fifteen more-years.: Then,- she died, a second time. Then, too, the same carriage,v;as tnjking:her to the cemetery for the second time. VJhen the same rough spot in the road vjas reached the husband of the womn-said to.the: : driver of the- carriage, "Please drive just-as carefully: as you possibly ,can for this is where’we played the devil fifteen years.ago," , ' , President .Rposovclt'tells this-story on'himself. A couple of negroes were ■; walking along a Washington street when they were startled by the screaa ojP a police siren and the ropar ofeight motorcycles preceding a long black car. Im pressed by the number of police^ one of the negroes asked his companion who was in the car. "Vi/hy, you ignorar.ius," said the second, "dat am de president of the United States and Jir» Wins top: Churchill." '."Yeah," said th? first, "what dey done?" Adolph; Hitler took sick ,bne day and none of - his -own-doctors could determine the cause of his ailment. In. desperation they surxioned a fine'old Jewish doctor y;ho had been driven from his practice. The doctor oxaj-.iincd the; Fuehrer vdth care fully* concealed loathing and, in later consultation v/ith his ovm specialists, re marked that thQ-only cure for him was bathing. "^Vhat kind of bathing?" asked the mystified medicos. "Submerge hii.i completely in the bath twice, "said the old Jewish doctor, as he roached for his hat, "and take him out once*" Y/hen teacher asks V/illie to construct a sentence using the word "Amazon," and he responds with; :"You can pay for. the eggs but the amazon (ham is on) me," Willie's answer is called .a Tfhowler." Below are a few^howlers. ‘ Avenue "1 avenue baby sister." Bellicose - "Dbn't hit me in the'bellicose .it Butter - "She..wanted to go butter mother wouldn't let her.-" Deceit - Wiggle hurts." "Ma makes me wear pants with patches on deceit." the time bocnuse she's afraid her wiggle come off." and now he has a bulletin his leg," "She wears her hat all Bulletin - "Pa got in a fight

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