"SCOjND man
D TA
r_j
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By ~ Professor M, L. Turner
(Some re~v;rittcn some just •told -
ne\7 some old)
>ome
Sccinecl that I
Y/herGc It is pretty*
Have just been listening to a group of our
senior /rirls here at Piedmont singing some kind
of a song about a certain mama who toted a pistol.
Part of the time they were -using a ;vord that sou
nded a whole lot like they were saying paclcin^.
V/ish 3.’’ou could have heard them. Come to think
of it maybe you have heard the song yourself,
had heard it once before myself* But to save me I couldji’t remember
While on this subject I’m reminded of the time a few weeks a-
go when Juanita Burns v/as listening to her radio. She was enjoying the singing so
very much, '^ob", said Juanita, "Did you ever hear anything so beautiful?” "No,"
said Bob, "The nearest thing that I ever heard to it v^as when a truck loaded with
cripty milk cans had a collision with another truck that was loaded with pigs,"
Edf-tor ~ "Does it pay to advertise in my paper? Well, I should say it does.
Look at. Smith, t?ic. grocer, for instance. Ke advertised for a boy last week, and the
very next day Mrs „ Smith had twins-both' boys
Professor Gai'y of Fallston, this definition of a bat)y also cajiie from the Reader’s
pifcest. It is not even "revarAped", Here it is, "A baby is an alimentary canal with
a loud noise at one end and no responsibility at the other,"
The sad-looking man had been vjaiting a long time for his order. Finally his wa
iter approached and said; "Your fish will be coming in a minute or two, now sir."
The sad r.m looked interestedo. "Tell me," he said, "what bait are you using,"
Taxi-Driver — "Cup of coffee, doughnuts, and somd griddle cakes," Waitress—
"Cylinder oil, couple of non-skid, and sji order of blowout patches,"
Mrs, Boone before the Fallston game—"You boys had better keep R;. lph D5jcon under
surveillG,nce," Fred Corrcvell-—"yeah, and you’d better keep watching him, too,"
Drunk (to bartender )-^"He5r^ gimi:de a horse’s neck,". See one! Drunlv—"I’ll have a
horse’s tail. There’s no use killing two horses,"
Iviro Clyde Cornwell on one occasion was complaining bitterly to Preacher Suttle
of the terribly bad ’i^eather for the crops, vjhen Brother'Suttle remanded him that he
had much to be ^;rateful for all the time, "And remember," said Preacher Suttle, "Prov
idence cares'for all. Even .the birds of the air are fed each day," "Yep", replied
Mr, Cornwell, "-ff :r.y corn,"
"I Y.’ould like a straw with this lemonade," said Mrs, George Hart at the table,
"Hey?" ejaculated the waiter, who was hard of hearing. "No; straw, I said,"
Patsy Osborne—"V/liat do you' do when you see an unusufilly beautiful girl?" Rach
el Spangler—"I look for a while, then I get tired and lay the mirror down,"
Mrs, Osborne—"Tlrxat girl over there shows distinction in her clothes," Mr, Os
borne—"You mean distinctl3r, don't jrou?"
The twins had been brought to be christened, "VJliat names? "asked the preacher,
"Steak and Kidney," the father answered, "Bill, you fool," cried the mother, "it's
Kate and Sydney," '
C;lobe Girdler. v/hich, as most of yoa Imov/, is published by the Fallston High
School, had something to say about, a basketball game between Piedmont and Fallston,
Tlie statement was made that the Piedmont boys beat the pants off the Fallston boj^,
Tne return game has now been plaj^-d. This time the Piedmont boys wnnt to Fallston, I
saw' the game myself, Mirabile Visu from the standpoint of the fans over that way. Re
luctantly I am forced to say that Fallston beat the pants, britches, basketball
ii/runivs, et cetera off our boys, I have known Mr, Gary for the past nineteen years—
franiay I have been Impressed by the versatility of the mnn, I think that he is H,L.
Mencken, Albert Einstein, the late Will Rogers, etc, all rolled in one.