Newspapers / Hot Off the Hoover … / Nov. 1, 1944, edition 1 / Page 15
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green grass in front of the Bank. "That grass cs»S*?H 1/y% Unv*4* ttWn T T csr\/^n'Kp K1rvr*lr oa rrrwy "Doodle" Laughlin was telling Alex Wease that he had just bou^t himself some new "Vict ory" underwear - "Whats different about that?" asked Alex, '"One deep breath and you open a ■second front," laughed "Doodle", said Mr, Hart, "V/ill soon'be as black as you are, Gus," "Yes", replied Gus, "but next Spring, it will be just as green as you is," Sam Jeffers was in* the 5 & lOi^ store looking for a Christmas, presant for his'wife, Froney, "Hov/ long have'you been married," asked the clerk, "Tiventy years", replied Sam, "Bargain counter to your right, Sir." George Hart was v;atching Gus Neal mow:'the' By Fred Beam V/hat is the difference between a radio and a clothes line? A radio draws the travcs; a clothes line waves the drawers, Foster Griggs' choir ^vas practicing a new anthem the'other Sunday — "Now, don't forget", said Foster, "Ihe tenors will sing along until, we come to the gates of Hell- Then you all come in.", "Bobby" Rose was preaching and explaining to his congregation the difference be tween Faith and Knowledge, "Now my bredren," he said, "hits like dis: Dar's Brudder Bud Ross a sittin* on de front seat wid Sister Ross and the five little Rosses. She knows dey's her chillen - Dat’s Knowledge, He believe dey*s his chillen — Dat’s Faith, Mr, Forney was'teaching the-Men’s Sunday School Class in the Union Church, "Will you please tell me, Mr. Forney", said a member of the class, "how far in actual miles, Dan is from Beersheba? - all my life I have heard the familiar phrase from >Dan to' Beersheba' but I have .never known the distance," Before the answer could be given, Fred Denton arose i^ the back of the room'and inquired: "Do I understand that Dan and Beersheba are the names of places"? "Yes'j said Mr, Forney, 'Well" said Fred, "thats one on me, I always thou^t they were husband and wife>'like'Sodom and Gomorrah;," "Did Edison make the first talking machine, Pa‘2*' "No, son,'God made the first one; Edison only made the first one that could be shut off," ' Vi/hen negro Bud Neal received liis draft question^iairp,he struggled desperately v/ith the long list of questions. He looked it over for a long, long time, scratching his head and sweating profusely - finally he gave up in despair and returned the blank questionnaire to the draft board, making this notation on the last page; "I*se reddy when you is," FAMOUS LAST V\ORDS; "Well, if he won’t dim his, I won’t dim'mine," It’s those little things that break up marriages; those little brunettes, those little blondes and those little redheads. As the forgetful polecat said when the wind changed: "It all comes back to me now." The "boot" stood on the burning deck - But as far as I could learn ■He stood in perfect safety - He was too damn green to burn.
Hot Off the Hoover Rail
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Nov. 1, 1944, edition 1
15
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