Newspapers / The Home Front News / Dec. 20, 1944, edition 1 / Page 20
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If ' ' ir ,1. . , pi.>-i,' ,\ ^t;"f ■ W'i C'V'- m:: p:i • ;•• [y/: il!»8 foj§S BIHD^S EYS OF A PIG-'S TAIL IN THS .I400NLIGHT Artist: J. ;Rob»t Pender..- (The above sketch discovered by' »IK;p».»‘ Mo^’’air Among,; memoir,s of Lee Hnrgrove) ' ■' ' ' - ■ Fl^hology: ' The Profe,s.«or explained^ to the ^claes that the female fish swam up atream and- deposited her eggs, near the shore, the male fish following and fertilizing the e'3!gs, .'.WhereuDon the guy on the back seat inquired,, "Do you mean./ , to tell us ■ th^y don't —-»That is; exactly right, fi ■ interrupted .‘- th^ Professor. *' That/ ,is the- reason’they call them fish.» hear ^ you and . the leading . lady are on the out ’V ;^;lectrician: ■ » Yeah, it was one of those quick change sc.pnes with the stage "all dark. ' she asked for., ^her tlght-s , -and I ' thought she, said, lights.. Customer; ’'Are those = eggs'- stri, ■ ctly fresh?” ■ ' ‘ , • Grocer ( to his clerk) r "Feel those eggs, george,- ' and sef^^•■ if they’re cool enough to sell yet” Luket "I climbed'Up that fence, there and I- seen a lot. of''oeople ‘ walking. around; nude, ff , ' ; Juke* ’’ Must be , a nudis.t col- , ' ony* ' l^fere'they men or womei^?” Luke-; ” I dunno- • they, didn >t •., have J:heir clothes on'.i»‘ ' : " ; SOME DEFINITIONS ■. SCniALISM' You have two cows and, give one to, . your neighbor OC^HvIUNISM: You have two cows, the. government takes both, cows and gives you the milk. FACISH: You^ haV6' two,; cows, the government -takes both cows' .and sells you the milk. ■ . MZISM:'■ You have tvjo .cows, the government tp.kes 'both . cows a.nd shoots you.' ■ NEW' DEALISM; .You have two ' cows, . th e government t ak e s both cows, shoots one, milks the- other 'an.d throws the milk away.' i CAPITALISM: You have two cows You sell one and' buy;a bull,- ; L Wife ( reading) -. It says h^re . they have found a sheep'in the Himalaya Mountains that can 'run ^0 miles an' hour, - Her.Hubby® "Well, it would take alamb like that to follow Mary nox^adays. ' ■ Two Negro soldier s were" discus- pSing the relative meritsv .of their'company buglers. ; Said . one: . "Fellah, when day boy of ouahs plays pay call, it sounds ‘zactly like ;de_. Bostpn Symphony playin* de Ro^a^,." The second colored boy snorted: "Brothah you ain^t got no bugler va~tall .When Snowball Jpne„s wraps his lips '.around dat: bugle of. his*n, and , .plays mess_ call, I loo^ down at mah^ beans,, and’I sez,, •Strpwber;'’icSj behavei You is kickin’ dc whipped- cream out of de plate.-’ f Said Hitirr to his aide,) "Why' the .vari(^d unifprm,s. of .Napoleon ^ind 'ospecially: the red one ; kn~, own as his battle uniform?!’ Said the aide: "The',red'battle uniform'wa^ worn/ in oirdQr, to Camouflage blood in ease he,-was. .wounded." ' ^ ' Hitier,,- to ,his ■.orderly, •"^'"'t- out my. brown uniform. " ■ We were certainly pleased to see Frank, Carl.^sle, sl/c, who , haa- been in the'Kavy 12 mos, He'is npvr at Treasure . Island, (next to Alcatraz) do;ing special Radar work^ -^. unable to give us much infor- mation. guy,' and;HF^Vwish-^s him Godspeed. •. ' A Most; welcome calle the other,' day was.- E. 'J. Warren, who ..stat ed-'that he wished’to h'elp our .■oublicatlon, Wn'd passed, 00 ac-^' ross the; counter to us. Furne'y now entirely well from, repent- operations, and. a very citizen of Tar boro.' : .' ■; . Handsome '^obbie; Peters drop-no;;d in from , Ft; Benhihg to say "Hel loj’, ..and thanks for ,HFN. Bobbie, ^^oh of former Mayor ' Peters, a' graduate of The ;':Clt^.del, ' .former star football; arid.' svrimming ath lete , at tended Flight School' in Cal-,, but when c orps was ' 'declared full he wa.s transferred to the infanty. A' swell bhap, and will do well wherever he goes, ' ; ' i'Ji :fK I / ' Kr. J > ■a! •iv/ V .
The Home Front News
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Dec. 20, 1944, edition 1
20
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