Newspapers / The Home Front News / Feb. 20, 1945, edition 1 / Page 4
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YOL The coi-’^Doral Fae going hoirie on his first furlou.o-h and was for- a Pullman tunate ehouo:h to 1 When he pulled back the:curtain of hie berth he was astonisiied to find two lucious blondes re- Dosin.5 there'. He checked his ticket to be sure he was right and said: "I’m deeplj^ sorr^^ ladies, but I’m a married man, a nan of respect and e.tanding in my community. I can’t af ford a scandal. I’m sorry—but one of you girls must leave.” / i LIQUOR- Al'D LIFI^ The horse and mule live 20 yrs. And nothing know of wine and ' beers ■ The goat and sheeio at 20 die And never"taste of Scotch and Rye ■ •. The cow'drinks water by the ton And at 10 is almost done The dog at 15 cashes in V'Jithout the aid of rum and gin The cat in milk and, water soaks. And then at 12 short years it croaks T he mo de s t, s o be r, bone- dr v ! le- n Lays eggs' for nogs, then dies , at 10 All animals ar*e strickly dry They sinless live and. :swiftly die But sinful, ginful, rum-soaked men Survive for three score years and ten. (Next time we. say the.-above-the following ^ lines lia,d been . added:) ', And some of us, the mighty few Stay >:ickled ’til we’re 92> And when v/e lay us down t,o die ' May we be eimbaimed in rumi or rye. ^^ - He: ”G-irlie, I liave a confes sion to make. I’m a married, man.” ■ She : ”G-osh!. Tou had. rfie sc^’ired ^ I,, thought you'were ■going'to say this car didn’t belong to you.” Moitie : ”Vrnen G-eorge a,nd 1 get married we’re gcing to rJali Ba li to ' see wriat it, is like.” Kaizie.: ”Silly, it ’ s the &ame , wherevexr you go.” ... , . . ..j, . ^ ^ . Asy3.um ^'Jarden: ”So you think you are sane how? ' If I give you your freedom, will you ieave liquor and women alone?” Inmate: ” I sure Will!” Warden: ” - 'ou ’ d be 11r s tay he re You’re s':ill crazy.” GOIIVICTS LAUNDER WAVHIS’ PAKTIES Gan you imagine anything more rediculous than this? Can’t you just -oicture the punish ment these bad boys are taking VJOWl It’s really true. It seems that, a certain -orison in the State of ‘Ji scon sin is do ing the laundry for the who are taking courses at the University of VJisconsin. Ucw you know wha.t m.ay ha-ODen to you if you’re ”sent ut)'*: in VJi scons in. Desert chat: Says one Orl to another: ”It’s ax^fully dry out here in the desert.” “Yes, says the ,, other, I haven’t Dassed water in four daj/s.”. Then there was a lady who was so dumb, she thought a goblet was a s-ailor’s child. Doctor: ”You must.avoid all forms of excitement.”- - Bill: ”Can I lock at them on thfe street?” Landlady (in hall, talking ,to a gal):’ ”I thought' I saw you taking a gentleman UD' to your ap.artm*ent last night, MisB 3m*ythe.'” Ki s s Smy the : i ” Ye hthD^t ’ s what I thought, too. ” >- 'A ■ St. Peter: Recent Arrival: ”How did ,you ''Flw” . ge t ^ here There was a young Wave .named . Banker, ■ vrao slept while the shiT5 lay at anchor; She awoke in disma.y---lien . ..she heard .the' mate say: ”row hoist up the,', to^sheet,. and spanker I ” ”It won't-be; wrong now,” the- young bride hummed as she wc.s mar-chin.do!'/n the aisle. The vjomah truck driver swerved, to avoid a bhild and fell out of bed. Itch ?-s something that, when a sailor iS' standing at atten tion his nose always, •
The Home Front News
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Feb. 20, 1945, edition 1
4
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