Newspapers / The Home Front News / March 20, 1945, edition 1 / Page 8
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Customer: "Vlaitrees,, I'Ll hcve some turtle, aduo." , V/altress yells to kitchen; "One turtle,, sour) 1" ' ■ Customer: "Do you have /oea sout) Walt re s s: , " '/e s, s 1 r, ire, do. " Customer: "Do you nind.,changing the,order?". , Vfeitress:, "Certainly not. Hey, cook, hold the turtle-—make'it■ pea! - , A EishoT? of Texas visited'Lon don and, was' taken to a faoh- / ionable. soiree at 'vmich'the ladies' dreesea >>rare out V3ry loyr. , His hosteseaeked conde scendingly if he had ,ever 'be- lield such a Bight-. "Hot, "said the biGhO’0,'"Gince I was weaned. I ' ; Lola: "Lis.ton, girlie, the, cai .lors run after my'kisses.", Katie: "Yeah? After mine.they lim'D." She: "'i’ou can't win an argu ment froii me. You■ don'.t think., fast enough. I can give you ■tit for,tat," He: ."Okay,—Tapi" Three Qalesmen v;ore,'sitting in' a tavern, having a few;rounds, of ‘b'eor ' , , "I hate to see a koman.'drink a lone," said the liquor.sales-■ ' ' man.'. , ' "I hate to, see, a ■’■'oman 'eat a-, lone, " added th^ ;;rooery sales man. 1'he mattres,B salecman I'emained q’-iet, like a gentleiiian. ' "L'ios that touch liquor shall never touch mine," said the ‘?,Yvir co-ed. And after' she had, graduated, one tau.ght' school for years, and yearo, a-d years. Bridegroara: ‘"Hov much do we ovre for ths;, room?" ' , ;' ' Hotel Clerk-: "Three d.ollars a niece." ' •The bridegro,om gavo the olerk tv;ent;r-one. dollarwT. Said the colored gal when' her nose began to bleed, "Xf it's-' i^iot one thin^, it's another. Said ono knee to the otheri "I wonder w.liat'B goi'ng on iip at ■ tlie 'Y' tonigl^t." , Old M,aid' s . Praye r: ".i-'ow' I lay , me dovn to sleer)—dammit!" Kama Mooouite: "If ybU chil dren, are good, I'll 'oak*^! you to a' nudist colony toni.gh't. And did you hear of the 'Jew an'd the i-igger in Heaven, going to .Saint Peter aiid asking for fa vor’s. The rigger said, "G-ive me'a million dollars." Saint Peter af5ked t?io Jew what he wanted.' He said, "Give me ^100 spm,e second-hand clothing,' and an introduction to the Nigger. » . Order received by transport ser geaht:. , ' . Four.' trucks to be ready at 1930 hours for co,nveyirig girls to a' dance. The. bodies must ,,be cle^-.ried and seats v;i-oed off. All curtains, must be in -olace. Letter' from -GI to wife: "Please send me ^25 for shaving cream and ptuff. ■ Wife writes back: "Honey, en closed :!reHlth is B.25 for sha ving cream. Your stuff,is over here. During a sale in a ■der^artrae^t.■^- ',6tore’ la'st month one of the ■ >' salesgirls told a buxom lady’:in ,front; of her counter tliat th^re ims a s-n^oial reduction in .the ■orice of sachet. "Sachet?"^aid the lady, ,”Just :'what is s,achet?" , .'."Well," ex'Dlained the girl, "it i'q a sort' of a little bag of r>r3rfume you -out in your chest ' and, your .drawsrc to make it smell good," ■ ' , "I understand vrhat you mean," ■ said the lady, "But isn't it awfully uncomfortable?" She:' "What causes so many di- , vorses?" ? K«: "Si^m^ old tale." , A, mugwumn is ^ bird thst sits on the. fence with its nug on one side,: and its vumn on the other'. ' Fashion Note:' "Women are v/ear- ■ing the ,flamevthin.^s in bras sieres thiG> ys^ar. ."Thln done you sold me night be okay for some -things, but it hasn’t brung back my h^. Look at them bumps on my scalD." The druggist looked at the di rections on the bottle. "Holy Cats! I've made a terri ble mistake, -his is bust de- v-,loperl" , . Did the' expression. "Gome a- cross" originate soon after the invention of twin beds?"
The Home Front News
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March 20, 1945, edition 1
8
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