Meek'Voice: "Doctor, this is
Mr. Henpeck. My wife has just
dislocated her Jaw. If you're
out this Way within the next
week or two, you might drop in."
Kfitie; "Well, at la«t I’ve
gotten a raise in salary."
Martyt "Honestly?"
Katie: "Oh, don't be so darn
inquisitive .'"
"You know there's a baby born
in New York every minute."
"V^ell, don't look at me that
vmy - I live in Philadelphia."
Somebody wrote in to ask if we
knew the difference between a
little girl and a big girl.
•Can't see where there's any
doubt. One is older than the
other. One is younger than the
other. The little girl likes
to -le tucked in bed. Gosh,
why did we ever bring us such
a question?
A C-I wrote his dad he was having
a terrible time mastering the
French language. His dad wrote
him that to learn it he would
have to sleep with it. Later
on the G-I wrote his dad that he
was still having difficulty,
but that when he was on leave
in London he really brushed up
on his. ■Rnglish.
It's anyone's guess which is
the most inter e-sting. What a
woman outs in her suit case,
v;hat a salesman,puts in his ex~
nense account, or what a chorus
girl puts into her trunks,
"Grandxmppy, you're getting
pretty old and feeble. Don't
you think you'd better go to
the poor house?"
"You dadburn right, sonny, I'm
a-raring'. Let's get goin'."
■'’I can't understand why you're
no anxious to go t a poor
'voor House? Poor house. Ye
fv OS, I thought ycii sAxd
■vVv, skip it. Juijt lot me dream. "
'’’eaoher: "Now, children, every
.nrnlng you ought to t?>ke a cold
i . and that y-'j.ll mrkc you
: r=I voey all oArer. Arc there
qnostions?"
'■cy in back or room; "Yeah,
t(=?.chpr, tell uf5 more about
P.oeie. "
The're taking him away in an
ambulance for beating his wife.
4 good looking girl had Just
been brought into the hospital
for an operation. The doctor
examined her and told her to un
dress and prepare for the ordeal
She did so- and climbed on a.
wheel table, after which the
nurse covered her with a sheet
and' left.
Presently do\irn the hall came a
man clothed in white from head
to foot. He ■caused v;hen he
came to the girl, lifted the
sheet and took a look, then
dropped it and went on his way.
Behind him came another v;hite
clad figure who did the same,
and then came a third and re
peated the action.
"For heaven's sake", cried the.
nervous patient, "when are you
going to. operate?"
The man in white cleared his
Throat, "Darned if I know,
lady," he answered, "Wp're Just
the painters here."
Lecturer; "Potts was a great
man. At his death three towns
were named after him: Potts-
ville, Pottstown, and Chambers-
burg".
Unto -the hat the girdle said,
"Frocet'd, my darling dear,
"Go on ahead, I shall bring up
the rear."
"Don't you think the speaker
sounds like he was a little
hoarse?
"Yes, acertain part of the
horse".
Old Maid; "I can't decide be
tween the divan and the arm
chair. "
Clerk; "Lady, you can't make a
mistake on a nice comfortabl?
chair like this. "
Old Maid: "O.K. I'll take
the divan.
"What does the talking hen say
when she lays a square egg?"
"You tell m=. "
"Ouch .'"
The sweet young thing goes out
on p datPi. f^ho has to walk back.
She wrl'GrB in her diary: "My
pedrl .-^xterrnlties are my best
friends." On the second date
she has to walk still further.
She writes; "Dear Diary; My
pedfll extremities are my best
friends. " On the third date,
she returns and writes: "Dear
Diary; Fv^^n the best of friends
must part.