Newspapers / The Home Front News / July 20, 1945, edition 1 / Page 11
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Salt Lake City Church Ad TENTH AVENUE HORIZON CHaRCH Rev, Cecil W, Johnson,Pastor 11! 00"A, M, »’TEN VIRaiNS IN A CRISIS" 7:4-5 P, M, ”i m ONLY oue'man SO WHAT" BETOHA' DIDN’T KMOVf: That the height? of embarrassment is two eysfl meeting through a keyhole. Just bccauee a girl is well oil ed is no guarantee that she will not squeal. That a striptease dancer can*t iearn to know because she has trained to drop every stitch. Little ducke always wear a frown because their pants ara always, down, Tluat fortune tellara aye cltiseed as because they have crystal balls. That a biography of Ejri^l Flynn and Charley Ohaplln C0 4ld easily be called '^on Whom th^^ G-als Told That the first optij5lan was the common housefly an(?. he‘s still making ’’specks,." Feather: ball game! "~^'Son,^ here comes a p:»eat player." Sonf "Pop, he's no good. I heard i^om tell him he couldn't get to first base." "George and I took a kodak to Niagara Falls with us on our ho neymoon. "Anything’developed yet?" Mercy not yet-- we've only been back two days 1" Advertising notice from a Kansas newspaper: ”Notice: Positively no more bap^ tizing in my pasture. Twice |n the last two months my gate has been left open by Christian peo ple, and before I’ll chase my heifers all over the country a- gain, all the sinners can xt> to hell!" Young bride; ’‘Marriage ie wonder ful., It's like having a date ev ery single night," i The man came home,bringing with i him a new wife,l^ome W years his Junior. He introduced-her to his servants and afterward i asked th^ olde]|t one |pf his em- ; plqyees what he thou^t of his’ : new mistress. The' man said: >' ;* "She*8 a beautiful young lady." i "Then what are-- you ^so upset j aUout?" ; I '*0h, nothing much. Boss, ex- i cept that I hate to see a man i start ouU on ^day's'^ork so [ late in '■le afyrnoo*'* i ’'Your leg," wrrtes'a* idwest : school boy in an anatomy te^t, : "is what if yeu ain’t got two : pretty fair ones you can’t get i to first bas9, and neither can i your sister,** : A male Duppy is a son of a fe- I male dog/ A,female dog is the 1 dogcatcher’e main objective. A I main objective is the dream of ; a dictator. Therefore, dicta- ; tors are male puppies. And what j did I say male piappies were? •; Lady at th^ Club: My husband ; travels so much that each time : he comes home seeins a perfect ! stranger. f i Another Lady: How thrilling! I A colored man went to the editor ; of a Anthem newspaper, re- i questing that a death notice b© ; published albout a departed bro-« ther, Th« -editor reftrred him j to tih« CmaBif^d ad ^^partment, j‘ At the Cmsi&ifad adwakhe ‘I asked, ”f«)w mucfi wiiwit cost, i to put a wr|5.te-up in the paper j about this dead mari?” , When told i tliat it woi^d cost #2,00 an i Inch, he stiratched his head and j exclaimed, ■'’^Oawdomlghty, and I that nigger was over six foot i tali’!" f "Mandy, I‘re been sent to see i you because; you tiave twelve children and I ^fant to giv6 you i t.hia booklet on birth control." ‘i "Yaas’m, Miss Smithy dat mout ^ be all right fji* you unmahied f ladies, but; I’j^ mahied and : don’t need it.* ■3 WAC (on first trip ton sea): : ‘’Captain, ie .llhis a good shiib?" 3 Captain: madam, don't yov I know this ie her maiden voyage?" 4 She; "Why was Agnes deferred?" i Her: "She slid down the ban- 3 nister,"
The Home Front News
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July 20, 1945, edition 1
11
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