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Published Weekly
Atlantic Christian College
June 16. !*»«<>
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SPECIAL ■
WELCOME! WE’RE GLAD YOU’RE HERE
by Tom K. Stephenson
First of ail I want to welcome
you here. You’re probably
going to hear that about one-
hundred times today and to
morrow, but we all really mean
it. One of the best things about
being in Summer School, is that
you get to meet all of the
freshmen at orientation. By the
way “Freshman” is not a
derogatory term. We love to see
new faces here, and with those
new faces comes new friends
that we. who are already here,
will come to know and love. It
sounds a little thick with syrup, 1
know, but there will be people
that you meet here, who will
bring tears to your eyes when
it’s time to leave next summer.
Well let’s get on with it.
You’re probaly saying to your
self right now. Wow! Look Ma,
Entrance to Hines Hall. Hines contains m^ority of the
classrooms and departments at ACC. Photo by ACC Publications
College. 1 made it. Surprised?
So was I. Well, at the risk of
sounding experienced (which I
am not nor ever will be) I too
once attended Freshmen Orien
tation, and I might add, that in
spite of the fact that 1 had no
idea of what I was getting
myself into, I have overcome
those unknowns and I am still
filling space here at ACC.
I have just a few of those
non-experienced experienced
tips to help you get through the
trauma of orientation.
One; Don’t go out tonight and
explore Wilson’s entertainment
facilities. It’s not that we don’t
want you to have a good time.
Nay. we want you to thourough-
ly enjoy your two day vacation.
It’s just that there will be a lot of
information that you will be
expected to retain, and this will
be impossible if you are sleep
ing through the presentations
tomorrow.
Point two: Although you may
become bored at times, take
heart, this experience will help
you prepare for those Sam
classes (just kidding proffs).
Point three: It would be
Robert’s Rules of Disorder
by John Roberts
After a brief absence, 1
descend once again to the
typewriter and hear the cadence
and feel the rhythm of the keys.
Oh, what’s the use; poetry is not
my bag of peas. Rather, let me
seriously breech the hallowed
traditions of Orientation, Tradi
tions, because they are time
worn practices; hallowed, be
cause they are treated by the
administration as given by God,
and we all know that those
blessings given by God are not
to be changed by mere thinking
mortals. Oh well, here is the
Orientation practices that are
fondly held in the recesses of my
memory.
As 1 remember, the first terror
encountered is the brief un
known: What do 1 do now that
I’m here? Don’t worry; years
ago, in the limitless aeons ago
when God in His Infinite Wis
dom designed the American
system of Higher Education, the
Administration (mere specks of
neural impulses in the Mind of
the Almighty) met and decided
how' to occupy the bodies of new
students during the period of
time called “Orientation.” The
design was simple: Keep ’em in
lines! Not short lines of forty or
fifty, mind you; no dear friends,
these animals strech the length
of several football fields, and
you, dear reader, will always
seem to be at the end farthest
from your destination.
Now, you may ponder this
question as you stand there,
conversing with your fellow
misfortunetes, why the Creator
made mosquitoes, flies, and,
worst of all, long lines on
sweltering days. It should be as
obvious as the noses on your
linemates’ faces: so that you’ll
realize your place in the academ
ic world! My friend, this is
college, where you have to
scratch and slave and rend, like
the lions, who are our descend
ants on the evolutionary scale
(why do you think they need
claws?). You will not be
“given” anything. You will
stand in line and pay. You will
go to class and pay. You will
stay up late doing papers... and
pay with your health.
But I digress. In the
beginning, in the Neural Impul
ses of the Wisdom of the
Universe, a far distant, future
need for line companionship
was forseen; and God decided to
throw in Moral and Science
lessons as well. Thus, Admini
strators dreamed up lines,
where new students, who had
never had to wait so long in their
short lives, would sweat, curse,
theologize, blaspheme, and, in
the “own sweet time” of the
registerers, become official
parts of the academic commun
ity-
Parts; not members.
Members contribute, parts are
added on. You will quickly learn
(that’s what you’re here for)
that you are a number, one of
many. They give you a student
number, which stays with you
all the days of your sojourn in
this modern Sinai wilderness.
You are to remember that
blessed number, memorize it,
write it on a piece of paper and
put it under your pillow. It is
important, nay, necessary, vital.
It’s purpose? You will never
discover it, even if you’re in
school for twenty years. It's
sole reason for existing is this:
to teach you to memorize. You
remember those digits, get
them thoroughly ingrained in
your mind. For what? To fill in
the blanks on the registration
that say “Student Number".
Yes, these two came from the
same Bountiful Source that cre
ated, in wisdom, lines.
Perhaps you are now
completely finished with your
first day. If you are of the lower
quality of newcomers, you have
the odor of the demon on your
breath, or perhaps some other
medicine is coursing through
your body. My friend, the
sickness is external and needs
salve rubbed on it, not serum
injected into it. You are not the
problem; don’t be so hard on
yourself. Bear with it; this is
just the first day!
Upon awakening, you may
discover that you don’t know
where you are. This is usual.
While in college, there will be
mornings when you not only
don’t know where you are, but
you will also have to check your
ID. card to discover who you
are. don’t loose it.
After breakfast, whether it be
eggs or simply toothpaste, you
have to stumble out to the lines
again. Nobody ever gets up
early enough. The first person,
awake at five AM, finds three-
hundred other persons already
ahead of him. Or her. So, you
had just as well sleep until the
indescent hour of seven. And
don’t get an ulcer wondering;
the lines will wait for you to join
them.
There will be people around
called upperclassmen. Remem
ber this name. Recognize the
faces that go with it. There is no
truth that they know anything
about which proffesors to take,
or which not to. Anyone who
volunteers this information
should be ignored. Or shot on
sight, if you are carrying a
pistol. Ballpoint pen injuries
will not silence them, so don’t
waste the ink.
helpful, if in your spare time
(you know, that ten minutes
they allow you allow you before
you're chained to your bed), if
you familiari/.ed yourself with
the Student Center and espe
cially the College Bwkstore.
You will be ama/cd at how much
trouble this will save you when
the stampede begins to pur
chase those precious bcx>ks.
Point four: Read the Student
Handbixik. It’s the little bixik
you were given this morning
which has printed on it. Student
Handbtxik. We’re not trying to
imply that you can’t read, but in
the event that a misunderstand
ing arises between you and a
college employee, you should
know the rules, because "1
didn’t know” only works up
through High School.
Point five: Don't try to buy a
ticket to the swimming ptxil on
top of the Student Center. Only
members of the Student Gov
ernment are allowed to use it.
Point six: Elavalor tickets are
available only through the office
of The CollcKlale. All others arc
fakes. Don't be taken in.
And last but not least. Point
seven: Retain, 1 repeat. Retain
this copy of The Collegiate. Not
because we arc ego-maniacs,
but it may help you as a
reference, when you forget what
day schotil starts and other
trivial information of this na
ture.
Well. I’ve got to get back to
work, and my assistant has
some dumb reason for having to
go home (sleep, of all things), so
I want to leave you with one
thought. When someone here
says, "Welcome, we’re glad
you're here," believe it. Other
wise, you may be forced to read
another article like this to prove
it. Bye now.
The Hamlin Student Center |foreground), and Water*
Resident Hall for women.
Photo by ACC Pulblcation
The Student Center
A Vital Part of ACC
by Karen Yerby
The Hamlin Student Center of
Atlantic Christian College was
opened in January, 1968, The
building houses the cafeteria,
student services offices, book
store, post office, snack bar and
recreation room.
The Student Center is the focal
point of the students’ leisure
time. It is essentially a place for
students to relax and meet other
people. Student Center activiti-
ties include recreational games,
pinball, foosball, ping pong,
pool and color television.
Informal social hours, tourna
ments and special interest
groups are a part of the total
program. As an annex to the
Student Center, Hardy Alumni
Hall provides space for dances,
workshops, special programs,
functions and movies.
In looking forward to the fall
and a new school year, the
Student Center hopes to offer a
wide variety of activities in
cluding trips, workshops and
equiment rentals. Hopefully all
students will take advantage of
the entertainment and activities
offered by or in connection with
the StudentCenter.
Please drop by the Student
Center office and offer any
ideas, suggestions or to volun
teer time and help, WE'RE
ALWAYS LOOKING FOR NEW
AND INTERESTING ACTIVI
TIES
As with other points in this
lesson there is a moral here.
Surely you remember your first
day in High School, when you
couldn’t tell the gym from the
library. Remember how ea|;er
the senoirs were to direct you to
the english classes? Remember
finding yourself in advanced
home-ec. instead. Search for it.
uncover the sheets from the
furniture of your memory; there
it is! Things haven’t changed;
upperclassmen still exist to lead
you astray. They’ll "suggest”
cont. on Page 8