THE RIDGERUNNER October 27,1977 page 9
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AMEN
CORNER?
by Ron Caldwell
My younger brother Quinine
came home the other day all smfles.
Wasn’t his Devil-raising smile,
He actually had a smile of tri
umph on his face-much like the
canary that ate the cat with a side
order of fries and a diet drink.
“I got a part in the school
play,” he beamed.
“Oh, God!” Mom groaned.
“Don’t tell me that you’re play
ing another fire hydrant like you
did the last time. Do you remem
ber >idiat hj?)pened?”
“Yeah, every dog on the block
followed me aroundfor a week
for a week waiting for me to stay
in one spot,” replied my brother
who is known in Dogdom as the
“Kanine Kidney Killer”. ’’But it’s
different this time. Really, it is.”
“Well then, what play are you
doing?” Mom asked, calmly going
back to her dishes.
“flair.” he answered. Now,
that statement in any other house
wouldn’t set off too many shock
waves. Around my house, however,
such a statement coming from a
twelve-year-old is like advertising to
your church’s congregation that the
choir is doing a nice little musical
at Christmas and giving them Jesus
Christ Superstar. And Mom, being
the Conservative to the end, took
it exactly like 1 thought she would:
the look on her face when she turn
ed around was that of someone
whose unemployment check had
/•
just bdunced.
“Hair?!” she repeated. “You
socrates
LET'S SEE.NOU).- POLL NAA\E
thecocre t. head.
FOe SHORT... HAW. uv
IvWAT MADE HJpe
oor IN TH£
raDO/A.HEAD?
by phil cazigelosi
mean that hippie play where every
one tuns around witfiout any
clothes on and touting *The Pill
is a Yes-Yes,’?”
“No, it’s...,”
“That commie radical play
where these unkempt monsters gal
lop around with flowers in their
hair like they’d just washed it in
ten gallons of Vigero?”
“Mom, it’s...,”
“That piece of trash where a
bunch of Moonies tr>' to shack
up in seven houses? And that
disgusting piece of seduction!”
“What seduction?”
“Where this nice girl named
Jupiter tries to make it with a
Mars Candy Bar?”
“Well, I won’t have a son of
mine in a play like that! We mot
hers will get up a protest against
it. Let’s see: 111 call Nancy Nit-
pick and Blanche Billboard-her
husband’s on the School Board.
Then there’s Harriet Hullabaloo.
Fran Fubar and Gladys Gladio-
lous—they all have kids in school.
We'll nail that director’s hide to the
wall!" She headed for the phone,
but before she could dial the first
digit of Nancy Nitpick's number.
Quinine quickly rose from his
chair and pleaded “But Mom. It's
not what it seems.’'
“Sure, like finding your
Dim'TU/ANTA
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brother there in bed with Ginnie
Goodball. Not what it seems,
indeed!”
“Now wait just a bed-hoppin'
minute here!” 1 felt that it was
time to come to Quinine's aid (and
save my own skin in the same
swoop). “Don’t you think that we
should hear his side of the story?
I mean, maybe it's just an innocent
play.”
“It is. It’s a play we’re putting
09 for a convention.”
”A convention for who: Per
verts International?"
“No. The Union of Good
Groomers.”
“The what?”
“It's a Barber's Convention.
We're doing ‘The History of Hair'.
And Tm a part."
“What's that?” I asked.
flake of Dandruff?"
“Not that kind of part." he
answered, pointing to his own tos-
sled mop. “This kind.”
“On who?" I asked. "Telly
Savalas?'*
“How'd you re
plied, tripping merrily off to his
room to study his “part". Ex
hausted by the turn of events. Mom
sank down into a chair across the
table from me.
“Well, at least I can count on
you to be in a nice, quiet little
play. Which reminds me. What's
Doctor Ogsford planning for tlie
fall show this year?"
I wasn't thinking when I told
her “Oh, Calcutta!”, She imme
diately made a beeline to the phone
to call Nancy and Company. How
could someone get so upset over a
musical adaptation of the life of
Mahatma Ghandi????
''New g«n#rotion''
of hondicopped
By Gamput Digest New* Service
He Is thirteen years old, and he Is
already accomplished In several sports.
He swims, plays baseball and soccer,
rides a bicycle, plays Ice hockey and, so
we are told, helps out with the dishes.
Rather an Impressive achievement for
any student...bull even more so for Ted
Mutts of Naperville, 111. Seven years ago,
a lawn mower rather forcefully removed
the lower part of his left leg.
Ted Is one of the "new generation” of
handicapped, who are proving that they
aren’t, .not really. The recipient of a
more progressive attitude toward those
with permanent bodily, disorders and-or
malfunctions, students like Ted are
putting the rest of us to shame &nd on
the playing fields of Eton, to boot.
In fact, Ted is such an accompllahed
swimmer, that he has won two dozen
medals for excelling in freestyle and the
backstroke.
Ted was lucky, however; he was en
couraged to show his true potential. After
the accident, his mother told the
Associated Press, “the doctors told us,
■He will be handicapped only If we make
him handicapped,’
Indeed.