Newspapers / University of North Carolina … / Aug. 24, 1979, edition 1 / Page 13
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13 August 24, 1979 13 UNIVERSITY OF NORTH CAROLINA ASHEVILLE ACADEMIC CALENDAR A Word to Incoming FALL SEMESTER 1979 term I August 22 Wednesday 23 Thursday 24 Friday 27 Monday 29 Wednesday Residence Hails Open Faculty Meeting (a.m.) Registration (day & evening) Classes begin Last day of late registration & drop/add September 3 Monday 14 Friday Labor Day Holiday Last day to drop a Term 1 course October 5 Friday 19 Friday Incomplete grades due Last day to drop a semester course Classes end for Term 1 term II October 22 Monday 23 Tuesday 25 Thursday . Schedule Adjustment Day (semester classes meet) Term 11 classes begin Last day of late registration and drop/add November 1 Thursday 12 Monday 22,23 Thursday,Friday Last day to apply for December graduation Last day to drop a Term 11 course Thanksgiving Holidays December 5 Wednesday 19 Wednesday 1 ncomplete grades due ' Fall Semester ends SPRING semester 1980 Term 1 January 11 Friday ' 14 Monday 15 Tuesday , 16 Wednesday . Registriation ; ^' Classes begin . ^ ^ Last day to apply for graduation in May Last day of registration and drop/fidd February 1 Friday 22 Friday Last day to drop a Term 1 course Last day to drop a semester course Incomplete grades due March 7 Friday Classes end for Term 1 SPRING VACATION -- March 10-15 Term ii March 17 Monday 18 Tuesday 20 Thursday Schedule adjustment day (semester classes meet) Term II classes begin Last day of registration and drop/add April 7 Monday 8 Tuesday 29 Tuesday Easter Holiday Last day to drop a Term 11 course Incomplete grades due May 13 Tuesday 16 Friday Classes end for Term 11 semester Commencement SUMMER SESSION 1980 T^ A i May 27 Tuesday 28 Wednesday 29 Thursday Registration Classes begin Last day of registration and drop/add '^Une 9 Monday Last day to drop a course July 2 Wednesday Classes end for Term 1 Term ii July ) 8 Tuesday 9 Wednesday 10 Thursday 15 Tuesday 21 Monday Registration Classes begin Last day of registration and drop/add Last day to apply for August graduation Last day to drop a course August 13 Wednesday Classes end for Term I! UNC-A freshmen—wise up! We know that many of you have come to college merely to get away from your parents, consume massive quantities of alcohol, and/or lose your virginity. Sorry kids, but at UNC-A there is a good chance that you will accomplish none of theabove. If you were smart, you would go to a big party school like Chapel Hill for a year or so and have a thoroughly decadent time, building up a huge backlog of thrilling party tales to tell your friends in subsequent years. Then, after ydu were booted out o^ said major university, you could take advantage of UNC-A's notoriously lax admission standards and rebuild your academic reputation to stellar heights, being constantly motivatedi>y the fear of spending the rest of your life as co-assistant night manager of the local McDonald's. But you're not that smart, are you? Instead of four years of big-time laughs, you are faced with a faculty and administration intent upon initiating that bane of all university students, the "academic upgrad ing" program. A bit of campus history is in order here. Several years ago, when UNC- A was in the throes of a particularly humiliating basketball season, a Western Carolina University professor began needling a certain UNC-A administrator about the quality of our athletic program. This rather vi cious ribbing took place at a cocktail party, and the embarrassed adminis trator felt obligated to deliver some sort of stinging repartee. In a classic comeback that has since become a standard of the industry, he icily in formed the WCU professor that "Our goal here, sir, is to produce scholars —Renaissance individuals—rather than illiterates whpse sole motor skill is the ability to put a round ball through a metal ring." Word of this ex change spread quickly through area academic circles, and UNC-A began to be referred to ^ the "Harvard on the Hill." This was ill Well and good, and campus rhprale took a temporary swing upward. Then problems set in, Some campus administrators actually began t?elieving that v^e were a ''Harvard on the ]H4H.'' Talk began cjrculatihg in fecul^ lounges about a conc^pfKhown as ''acade^^^ rigpr." A problem that vyas cleverly narped '•grade inflation'' appeared. "Iricphiplete'' became an ugly word. PhrasK such as "My grandfather just diigd,'^ pr"Profe^br, I've not tcId anyone else thie tern bte n w but my girlfriend/boyfriertd [ust went into the hospital/" suddenly began falling on deaf ears, UNC-A students were faced with the unprecedented phenomenon of having to study to make ■ "A's/' ; V: • "But,'' you say, "My oWer brother who went to school here in the late sixties never studied, took incredible amounts of drugs, mai^e buckets of 'A's', and Is novy head of a successful Atlanta-based consulting firm. How can this be?" Well, your brother and his equally successful friends were aided by anti-war, anti-establishment professors who were ln%rested in hffliding out as many student draft deferments as possible. JVhere are these generous professors now? A recent survey showed that ninety per cent of them are livihg in geodesic domes in New Mexico's communes. The other ten percent are junior partners in successful Atlanta-b^ed consulting firms. The only professors around today are young Turks driven by tenure-hungry frenzies—they give no quarter. They are augmented by a crusty group of older professors who never gave any quarter in the first place. This latter group are members of the ilk that were responsible for all the "What's Happening to Today's Youth?" articles that used to appear with such regularity in Readfer's Digest. Like the characters in Samuel Beckett's Waiting for Godot—which you will read at some point during your Humanities sequence, but probably not understand—you have been thrust into a meaningless void. As clever young scholars, it is your task and duty to find meaning in this void. Thin^ look bleak, don't they? Fear not, for we at The Rag and Bone Shop are going to reveal the key to undergraduate happiness and void-fiilinn. The l^ey is this: mastery of the freshman term paper. Faculty members will vehemently deny this, but any upper-level student will quickly tell you that in the eyes of your professors, your worth as a human being is directly proportional to your ability to write a concise and coherent term paper. We at The Rag and Bone Shop want to help you learn to write these stunning essays. With our aid, "concise and coherent fresh man term paper" will cease to be a contradiction in terms. Read on, and by the time your first paper is due you'll be able to dazzle your professors with verbal pyrotechnics that will keep most of them scuttling back and forth between their desk and the dictionary. Turn the page, and you'll be leaving UNC-A quicker than you say "co-assistant night manager at McDonald's." The Term Paper 1. Choosing the topic: * One of the most important lessons asp’ring t paper writer? can learn is that it is imperative to familiarize if s^slves with the professor they are writing said term paper for. Specifically, find out wh. t r cy wrote their doctoral dissertation on and what area they concciitrated ^ Hng grad school. After this information is acquired, the student h r^tio^ of taking two courses of action. One: He or she -rite,: ut is as far from the professor's field of knowledo t is poss t.
University of North Carolina at Asheville Student Newspaper
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Aug. 24, 1979, edition 1
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