Newspapers / University of North Carolina … / Jan. 1, 1960, edition 1 / Page 3
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THI5 IS /I Threo JHPX ToKj W/ATC VI Vj V),'^ ^ series 'f^H A Wi^T^H ' -'^ of one cartoons tltln'l"WATCIPfT,it ‘Hy Moron Leaves) Cotif)VB-liTi4J- NJATCrt IH s ^ 6\)5 WyiT^-H /H6 Vc^i t- V) TOfK'- Next issue,I’11 expose watch'bu/»8i THIS IS A"COOT’I"«5NTIji^3'"ITOR 3AC': AT A ’'rATCIFIK:^ ’fATCHIN'> A"C0KT’I!3:in?IAli" E’^IT0R-''Confi'^ontial"n-:iitor3 are very snoony, even nore than watch‘bu/»s. They spy an'i spy on - people like novie atnrs,children,and old ladies, and" expose "then in their m^;azinos. "Confidential editors ruin nore careers than anyone, lut f they don't caro».«their career is safe, ^on't ■he a "C!onfidontial"o''‘!itorJ * * (ArVERTISIITr SECTION;The ads we wore paid not to print,^ut sold then out when wo ^ot a bettor offer ^ print then.) MELVIN «S CTTPBATE FLO’^Ii SHOPPS- Next ::oor to MELVIN'S Funeral liono.vniich is next door to MELVIN'S M3M0KIAL HOSPITAL,ri^ht at tiio MELVIN ?roeway intor- soction* (OPENING SOON:MELVIN'S Auto Hepairs.) SPECIALIZED MEDICAL SEHVICES- Say.youn^ fcllor-Aro you worried and confusod ■because you and your ^^al^nade a nistako"tho other ni/»ht? You love her, ■but can't afford to marry her,so you're lost as to the solution? Well,our little Specialty Services(ille5;al,“but paid (^f to the fuzz*so no worries thero)can of fer you a sinple,sanitary answer to the situation,in tho forn of an operation callodCCENSOEED), As an introductory of fer, this week only,T’.'fO EOS TIffi PRIiE OP ONEi(Por all you roal"novors"out thore,) PHONEiNono, Just leave a note in tho old 'oalc tree out on Routo 61. RECOMMENI!ED 3Y TliS AMERICAN MEDICAL ASSOCIATION. OPINIONS,IDEAS,AND ESPBSCIALLY TIffi ADVERTISEMENTS,EXPRESSED IN THIS ISSnS are definitely not THOSE OP TliB CRI^ STATPl(Or anyone with his own nind.) The VICETOY Ci-tarette Cnnnercial.T.V,- ?5CENEsPrc-historic landsca-)0. see a cavonan,fi."htin? a dinasour. He is app roached Tiy the ANNOTiNCER,with a handnike ANNO^TTCERtPardon no,sir...nro you a VT2r feSBional dinasour fighter? CAVEMAN:No,I Just sorta do it in self- defense. ANNOTTNCS?r/hat kind of ci.^arette ^o you snoko? CAVEMAN:’,-my,VICETOY,of course." AI''nffO’TICER:Do y->u thirfe everyonn should amko VICETOY? CA\^-IAN:I think every nan shmil"’ think for hinself... (LOO’aiTTr AT MIKE:).. .hmn, I also thinlc...I think I'll "bash in your head and steal that raa-Tic talkincj-stick> I could "be kin-'? of tho tri'be with that.' (He advances on ANNO''’TIC?!R,a hu-i?? clu'b in his hand. Scene fades to...) THE CAVEMAN'S APARTMENT-He sits on a hu^e .-granite thro no, a crown on his head and tho A^O^’TTCER's nicrnnhone in his hand. The stuffed heads of tho dinasnur and tho ANNO'^ITCBR are on the walls. A voico fron offsta^^o saysi "VICETOY CI"rA5ETTES...A THINKIlTr MAN'S FILTER...A CAVEMAN'S TASTE1" C4UT|0f^:bKlC'6f: pyT'Jl^
University of North Carolina at Asheville Student Newspaper
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Jan. 1, 1960, edition 1
3
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