• *• Pa^G Pour
ANSVffiHS TO q^IZ.PArrE Ol'TS-
(l)lf you said yes, you‘re lyint^-there’s
no such theoryl
(?.) True.^^hy?”The truth shall make you
free*^, that‘s whyi
(3) E-1, John B#Lee ,rock-n-roll sin^r#
3-6,Robert the 3aptist-turne'^. traitor
and becane a Ihuddist in 19 5*^ •
C-^-Hobert Robert, do thin.':; desi^^ner.
P-2, John Pro st .better-known as Jack,
3-ii',Horton L.Stevenson,""'ritish novie
star and bankrobber*
A-5,Robert L.Lewis ,brother of Jerry
L*(Lee)L0wis and part-tine drunk,
G--1, John Henry,and H-7i John Paul
Jones-fooled you those 2 tinesi
(^-)Money was the main causo of all evil
in human history*
(5)If you answered this one,you’re wron^»
If you loft it as is.-'^ive yourself 10
points and becono a Hollywood colun-
nist*
(6)Answering this one indicates that you
can think IJeep Thoughts,and shouldn’t
be wastina; your tine ui> hereJ
(8)The Prince is 7?ored with boards.
(?)(a)ZORRO-a hero.
(b)OR-a conjunction.
(c)oror-double conJ •
(d)EOZ-Mcknane for'^Rosil^^nd”.
(e)RO-lst word in the son^"Ro,ro,ro
your boat,"
(f)ERO-The 2?th letter,after Z.(l’n
sure you’ve heard of 2-RRO)
(r'^)RRZ-Sound of an an.:5ry bee.
(h)ZRR-Sound of an an/^ier bee,
(i)Z$)0-A place for animals*
( ^00-Expression of awe or anazenent,
(9)Lilliput,"
(lO)Either(a)You know darn well you weren’t
P£(^)XPli
IITTE&RATIOIT QJTESTION 07 TIC5 ’CBEK-Should
Vampires be Allowed to ^''o to College
Vfith Everybody Else?
YES-I think vampires are the”coolest”
people I’ve ever met,.,why not,with only
a thin coat of .'^^aveyard dirt over them
when they sleep? The vampire sense of
humor is also a;reat. For example,this
was told to me a few days a^^o by a vam
pire buddy of mine:”Can Mary ^0 skating;
with me?”-”Mary died last year,’”-”^‘^ell,
can I have her skates?”-Only a vampire
would appreciate such subtlity. And they
are also nuite ^ood-lookinc?;. There’s no-
thinf? like a handsome youn/^ vampire boy
with lon^5,curly black hair. .^owin.';; all
over his faceJ Or a cute little vamp with
her lon^,graceful fingernails blood
redJ Yes,vampires should r^o to collec^e
with people my kids have to be educa-
ted so me where i (C. DRACTIjA)
Nb-It isn’t that I have anythin^; ar~:ain8t
them,some of my best friends are vampires
but I hate the thou.-^ht of a set of those
lon/5,horrible fan/^s sinkin/^ into some
yount; co-ed’s neck,and,,.TOHJ And they
wovildn't be able to come to our all-nite
blasts,with their weird habits of sleep-
in,!» during]; the day,and workin^'^ at nite-
they would have to bo in ni^ht school.
Their habits are all too different,and
it is a scientifically established fact,
as shown by the Orval Paubas Res'^arch
Center,that anythin^;; different must bo
wron/’.’ (A.CLODU.)
CROSS^m^ PTTZZLE SOLT^IOIT-
In case any of you actually work-^d
the crossword puzzle last issue,and
actually couldn’t fi.i^ure it out,hnre
is the way it should’ve boon done:
- L.
LITTER TO THE E^ITOR-Almost-real letters
(NOTE:I 'didn’t ^et any real letters,
but these are almost real)
“^oar Ed,
I really du,'^ your papor.espescially
the takeoff on the En.i;lish "department,
Never had Mrs,Pisheart been so funnyJ
Mrs.Scribbler
Dear Ed,
I really du^; your paper ,espescially
the takeoff on the En.'^lish ’department.
Never has Mrs,Scribbler been so funnyJ
Mrs.Pishcart.
Dear Mr.McHone,
Never mind showing up for phys.ed.
anymore. Yoti’ve been dropped,due to the
horrible story you wrote about mo.
Coach Velvetono.
McHone:Never mind coming; back to school
at all.’ You arc hereby expelled,til death
do you part,for the”satire”on me,
^r.O-.L.Piizzy,
APOLOn-IES TTJTOCESSARY-The -oeoplo who are
s;ood sports will realize I’ve only been
kid'line;, and those who aren’t don’t des
erve recoctnition anyway,
JM
nSiS AlEY-by Abraham van brewin’
I)ear Abey,
my dau^^hter is a”scared-of-the-dark”
type,who insists on sloeT>in^ with her
father every ni/»ht, ^'Jhat solution can you
■Tivo mo? MOIECBR OP SLEEPER.
■^ear MOS:Lot’s of little ^;irls sleet) with
their fathers,so don’t worry.
Dear AbeytVHien the c'i;irl is 2^|^ years old?
MOS.
^ear Abey,do you know the rest of tho
word’s to a son/? befijinnin,?;, ”I ^ve ny lovo
a red,red nose”?
Son/^lover*
^ear Son^lover:Yes,
Dear Abey;My sister,Lucy Scone.insists on
takin.^ lon^^ walks every day at ^ AM be
fore broalcfast. She says it’s to keep her
weii^ht down,she doesn’t want to s,ct fat.
The trouble is,she takes mo on those lonr':;
strolls too,and I’m /i;ottin^ worn out,^.‘niat
can >»o done about such a fanatical strol
ler?
SISTER IUTIL*^A,
“)ear SIS:Try to see her point of view,she
is trying to lose wei^;ht. Remember that
well-known old ■!^hraso,”A strollin/i; Scone
r-^athers no mass”.
(opoj)