HnePPA
On The Sidelines
Wednesday, Sept. 19, 1984/TEffi BLUE BAMNER/3
By Anne Snuffer
Sports Editor
And Chris Streppa
Staff Writer
being physically fit
doesn't necessarily mean
joining a spa, dribbling
a basketball, or sprint
ing dovm a track.
You can buy fitness at
Buffalo Records for $12,
Work out records, tapes,
and videos have become
the newest fad.
They are. ttie perfect
solution for tiiose of us
who can’t afford the time
or money to join a spa;
and are a blessing in
disguise for those of us
who refuse to expose
lumps and bulges to cri
tical eyes.
You may want to take
the "secretive approach"
when making your pur
chase .
This consists of pre
tending interest in the
"Top Ten" when, in re
ality, you are dwelling
on the promise of a Jane
Fonda figure.
You sidle
up to the
cash regis
ter, hoping
no one will
notice you
prefer Rich
ard Simmons to Rod
Stewart, and you hastily
explain to the cashier
that you’re buying the
album for a fat friend.
Once you’ve smuggled
your purchase home past
prying eyes, TiiE PREP
ARATION begins.
holey sweats
won’t do. You don your
color-coordinated,desig
ner shorts or leotard,
and psyche yourself up
for that opening chord.
(if you had been think
ing clearly from the
start, you would liave re
alized how ridiculous it
was to spend so much on
such fancy garb—didn’t
you kna^ that sweat turns
lycra spandex gray???)
Five minutes into the
routine, you realize that
the voice you got all
dressed up for isn’t a
friend at all, but a
harping drill sergeant.
Your orders are to
stretch and pull, twist
and bend, until you feel
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like "Plastic Man" on
Saturday morning car
toons .
To add insult to in
jury, that ever-cheery
voice actually wants to
know if you can "feel it
bum? Your response?
"Bite it Jane!"
Moreover, you can’t
help but compare your own
spastic attempts with the
fluid, synchronized move
ments you’re sure the
"commander" is doing.
Of course there’s al
ways the problem of when
to exercise.
It seems as though
you’re always interfering
with someone’s sleep time
or drowning out the 6
p.m. news.
Often there are pets or
kids around who want to
get in on the act, and
your solo routine quickly
becomes "herd exercis
ing."
Where do you work out?
Few homes have the ful
ly-outfitted studios de
picted on the album
covers. So you end up
tearing down your house.
Little did you know
when you spent that $12,
you’d soon be facing
bills for jacking up the
floor, repairing the
holes you’ve worn in the
carpet, ,or rewiring the
Overhead light fixtures.
The bottom line is that
these routines also be
come monotonous after the
first few fun-tiiroughs.
You know exercise is
good for you. You should
be doing it.
After all, it cost you
$12.
Maybe, just maybe, it
would have been cheaper
(and easier) if you’d
joined the spa in the
first place.
Lady Bulldog Tennis:
stretches to return a
victory over Catawba.
Staff Photo by Sylvia Hawkins
UNCA’s Monica Bronikowski
volley in last Saturday’s
Men’s tennis shaping up
By Joan Sterk
The men’s tennis team
opens the fall season
with its first iiiatcli
Sept. 24, at 2 p.m.
against V^lestern Carolina
University.
The team will partici
pate in seven matcties and
live tournaments this
fall, including the UNCA
Fall Invitational, sche
duled for Oct. 12 and 13.
Team members set a goal
of earning the title of
district champions, a ti
tle which has eluded the
Bulldogs in the past.
Coach John Shackelford
hopes to dethrone the
NAIA National Champions,
Atlantic Christian.
"For the past two
years, UNCA has placed
second to Atlantic Chris
tian. This year we’ll
really be going after
them," said Shackelford.
Three letterraen, Joven
Cizek, Neils de Jong, and
Danny Young are returning
to this year’s lineup.
Clint Osbourne, Will
Hancock, and Mark Ordones
are also returning.
Two freshmen, Rudy
Schwab and John Lichten-
berger, make up the rest
of the team.
Shackelfora feels the
team "has plenty of ta
lent and ambition, and
there are some hungry
players who are x^orkin;^
hard."
Lady Bulldogs claim victory
ByJoan Sterk
Top seed Monica Brona-
kowski dropped her first
set, but allowed her op
ponent only four games
during the remaining two
sets in last Friday's
victory over Catawba.
The Lady Bulldogs open
ed the fall season with
an 8-1 overall mn.
Second seed Leslie Kna-
ble had a close first
set, but slie dominated
the second set winning
7-5, 6-1.
ter paired up for the
number one doubles and
took a 9-7 pro-set from
Catawba.
Christine Nichols and
Sheila Royal, playing
number two doubles, de
feated their opponents
8-6.
Both Nichols and Royal
won in singles.
Fifth seed Susan John
son lost a tough match,
but later joined Kecia
Wilson for an easy win in
doubles, granting Catawba
only one game.
Coach Mike Sams said
the match was not a re
liable indicator for the
team’s performance this
season.
He said UNCA defeated
Catawba in every match
ever played, but he looks
forv7ard to more difficult
challenges from upcoming
opponents.
On Sept. 21, the Lady
Bulldogs take on Catawba
at 6 p.m. and Mars Hill
at 8 p.m. at UNCA.