Pdge2
The Blue Banner
HouemberQ, 2000
Opinions
The Blue Banner
tdtonals
fill eggs in the basket
The bond referendum passed with flying colors Nov. 7,
with 76 percent of N.C. voters and 99 out of 100 counties
standing behind it.
Now the long-awaited renovations and additions to our
university will become a reality. We'll see no more leaky ,
ceilings, outdated labs or cramped offices after this
money makes the university architects' grandiose plans
come to fruition.
Not to put a damper on the great and needed success of
this referendum, but how will the $3.1 billion be paid
back?
All given information about the bonds stresses that
taxes will not increase, and neither will student fees. So
where is all this money is coming from? It has to materi
alize somewhere.
It's nice to know that student fees won't go through the
roof and taxes won't rob us blind, but there has to be
another variable to this equation that identifies the
source of payment. Free money does not exist in the state
system.
An assumption the state seems to be banking heavily on
is that economic growth will increase with the same
trends as the past few years. Money that is a result of
economic growth is often used to pay back bonds of this
nature, according to an Oct. 22 article in Raleigh's News
and Observer.
Using extra money to pay back $3.1 billion sounds like
a great idea - if, of course, there's no recession, no major
floods and no awful hurricanes. But isn't the state put
ting all their eggs in one basket, so to speak?
It's not that optimism is a bad thing. It's just that $3.1
billion might not seem so warm and fuzzy when some
uncontrollable natural disaster or economic recession
sends that economic growth money down the toilet.
So here's hoping that this bond is really as big a boon as
expected. If all goes as planned, we'll have a beautiful,
competitive, well-outfitted campus with no mountain
sized debt to remember it by.
Watch your back
After a former UNCA and WCU student was charged
with five separate counts of indecent exposure, obstruct
ing/resisting an officer and breaking and entering, we
students are left wondering just how safe our dormito
ries are.
Sure, it sounds great to tell prospective students that we
have human beings sitting in the lobbies of all the dorms
at night except Governor's Village, which is locked 24
hours a day.
But if the area flashers are getting in the buildings in the
early afternoon, all those lock-down hours don't do
much good.
All it takes is one wacko, one nutcase, to cause harm to
the residents of those buildings. We enjoy an exorbitant
amount of freedom in the UNCA dorms, a freedom that
most students and staff take for granted. We assume that
Asheville is a innocent little mountain city, and we're far
enough away from downtown to avoid the rabble.
As little fun as it may be, the time has come to redefine
the way people have access to campus living areas. With
last year's Governor's Village intruder incident, a recent
string of thefts and the campus streaker, it's obvious that
something needs to be done.
The callous way in which UNCA students handle their
personal and group safety is disturbing. Granted, no one
wants to lock their door every time they go to the laun
dry room or visit a friend, and many people don't think
twice about giving out building codes, but therein lies
the problem.
Maybe at one point UNCA was safe enough to disre
gard personal safety measures or nighttime dorm en
trance policies, but the past year should demonstrate
that the need is definitively present.
A campus-wide discussion needs to begin to ensure that
an incident does not occur that is more harmful than the
occasional disturbing oddball. Again, it only takes one.
Elect Ben or Jerry for president
Andrew Thomasson
Columnist
The United States of America will
have a new president by the time
this column reaches your eyes. I
know not whether it will be Vice
President AI Gore or Governor
“Dubya” Bush; deadlines prevent
your humble columnist from know
ing such things before I write this
column. However, I come to you
not to criticize the lack of opportu
nity for third and fourth party can
didates, nor do I come to bemoan
the lack of choice presented us this
election year.
Though there are viable arguments
for each of those positions, I choose
not to dwell on the past. The Presi
dent-elect is going to be the one,
unless he commits some horrific
impeachable crime, that will lead
the United States of America and
the free world through the next
four years. I simply choose to move
forward, to the election that will be
held in 2004, and propose a candi
date tandem that will lead our great
nation forward through the current
haze surrounding the new millen
nium. They are both staunch envi
ronmentalists and international
quasi-celebrities. I speak of Ben and
Jerry, Vermont ice cream moguls
and flavor geniuses.
It is a known fact that appealing to
more than one sense of the general
public in ads is a very effective
advertising ploy, and it would be
the ultimate coup d’etat for a can
didate to appeal to not only pocket-
books, sight and sound, but to the
public’s sense of taste. Especially
their sense of taste by such culinary
delights as B&J chocolate chip
cookie dough ice cream, which the
good boys would have unlimited
access to.
Imagine such a taste-rally.
“Here, have a tub of Cherry Garcia.
Vote Ben and Jerry.”
Can you fathom a more effective,
more popular way to garner votes?
No, I can’t either.
Think of the possibilities, though
— they could run on the Green
Parry ticket. They are ecologically
sound. A quote from their home
page at wfww.benjerry.com reads
“the new Ben & Jerry’s pint is being
manufactured with unbleached pa
per. This is a bigger deal than you
might think. Bleaching paper with
chlorine to make it whiter is one of
the largest causes of toxic water
pollution in the United States.”
And that’s just their newest inno
vation. Ben and Jerry’s has long
been known as a “down home”
company, even as they’ve gone in
ternational, and one that has great
concern for the environment. Down
home appeal has won people elec
tions before. There have been multi
millionaire presidents that have won
because they showed ads of them
selves dressed in working man’s
clothes, sitting on the front porch
of a log cabin. Ben and Jerry can
work the same angle.
Also, though I alluded to this be
fore, Ben and Jerry are already in
ternational celebrities. There would
be no need for the Green Party to
spend a great deal of money intro
ducing the general public to and
familiarizing the general public with
them. People with star power usu
ally win elections anyway. Just ask
Ronald Reagan, a former movie
man himself, who arguably was
running with his mental tank at
least half empty for most of his
eight years of presidency. Jesus, the
man got re-elected.
Ben and Jerry are infinitely more
bona-fide celebrities than an actor
from the fifties who was in a great
deal of B-rated movies.
♦ There is no real need to comment
on the allure that these two ice
cream gods have to the female popu
lation, but for the sake of argu
ment, I must include them. After
all, this is something of a political
ad.
It is a documented fact, as a result
of a study conducted by a research
group comprised of myself, and a
study group composed of my girl
friend and a small group of her
friends that attend Agnes Scott
College, an all girls’ school in At
lanta, that Ben and Jerry’s is the
greatest thing known to woman.
I have heard words such as “sim
ply divine” and “orgasmic” in refer
ence to Ben and Jerry’s ice cream
from these girls. There are appar
ently lines in front of the freezers
there in the late evenings; they have
been described to this columnist as
having “heavier traffic than rush
hour Atlanta.” I also believe, as an
editorial comment, that there would
be a much higher income to be
made by Chick-fil-A if they were to
stay open later in deference to late
night ice-cream runs.
I have a belief that a large part of
the success of the local chapter of
Chick-fil-A that has established it
self in the student center lies not in
the sale of chicken and chicken
products, nor does it come from
the devastatingly cute “Eat Mor
Chikn” ads that have corrupted
billboards nationwide.
No, the success of the Chick-fil-
A lies in that freezer at the front,
the freezer that contains all the
frozen products, half of which is
full of names such as Coffee Heath
Bar Crunch and Chubby Hubby
ice creams by the good folks at
Ben and Jerry’s.
So mobilize, good citizens of the
U.S.A. Call and write Ben and
Jerry up in their cozy nook of
Vermont, and tell them you want
them as the next president of our
nation. What is there to lose, be
sides a little weight? Eat Mor Ice
Cream — It’s Phish Food for
thought.
Double standards in religion
Sean Clancy
Columnist
As a non-Christian I’m beginning
to feel a bit repressed already by our
newly-elected country-wide repre
sentatives. Christianity has worked
its way into everything, and every
body has lost sight of the fact that it
is a personal spiritual belief, and
that you just have to share. Some
examples of the blatant prej udice of
Christian groups are the debates
over religious involvement in pub
lic schools.
Christian parents want their chil
dren to pray together in school so
their faith won’t be partitioned.
How would those parents feel if
their child went to a school that had
Muslim prayers at set times every
day? What if their child wanted to
become Muslim? God forbid, there
would be outrage, but as long as
Christianity is popular, it’s OK to
do that to everyone else.
At my high school, every few
months, representatives from vari
ous Christian religions would hand
out little bibles to students leaving
class. God doesn’t need propaganda.
If it were Hindus handing out reli
gious pamphlets, someone would
call the police.
As long as were talking about reli
gion in schools, what about birth
control? Anybody who believes that
not giving high school students birth
control will keep them from having
sex is an idiot. It’s not as if when
schools hand out condoms students
are suddenly exposed to sex for the
first time. Unless those kids have
been locked in a basement their
whole life, they know all about sex.
There is no such thing as a pure
mind. They may even know more
than their parents. It’s unfair to
deprive any children from a realis
tic and safe childhood, much less all
children, because your religion
makes you afraid of sex. I don’t
think every high school student
should be having sex, but some
will, and it is narrow-minded to
ignore that.
In related religious encroachment,
anti-abortion lobbyists are largely
supported by Christians who think
that abortion should be outlawed
because it is against their religion.
Well, do you really think we should
make laws that protect everyone
from sinning? If someone is Chris
tian and they believe that abortion
is wrong, there are no pro-choice
agencies making them have abor
tions, so what’s the problem? What
ever happened to the almighty God
and judgment day? Besides, I don’t
remember Jesus forcingpeople into
things.
Speaking of which, what would
Jesus do? He used to be out helping
people and teaching those that
would listen. Today he is sitting
behind a huge oak desk in a high-
rise office lounging in a tailored suit
leafing through the new Mercedes
Benz catalog as he sips on a Coke.
He has a huge team of telemarketers
calling endless mailing lists to con
vert people. He is selling little pieces
of junk emblazoned with
W.W.J.D., and is delighted that, in
spite of the fact that no one really
has any idea what Jesus would do,
people are buying them up.
Everywhere I go, I see “we still
pray!” bumper stickers, and won
der if the people displaying them
would be offended with a bumper
sticker that said “I never pray.” I
don’t go walking around all day
trying to get people to believe and
act like good upstanding atheists.
Why should it be OK for them to
do it to me?
I know, because God’s on their
side. Someone was telling me that
those “we still pray” bumper stick
ers belong to people who get up and
pray during high school football
games after they made it illegal. If I
went to a football game in the South
and said, “God is not real, he’s
made up by humans trying to
explain the unexplainable,” I
would probably be beaten or
lynched by an angry mob of cheek
turners.
The point is not that I’m in an
active struggle against Christian
ity or any other faith, it is that if
we are all going to live together in
this country, double standards
need to disappear. Hey, even if
deep down in your heart you feel
that your all loving, all powerful, all
knowing God will burn me in hell
for eternity, don’t try and save me.
If God really loves>me and is all-
powerful and knows everything,
then I’m sure he’ll figure out a
way to help me. So keep praying,
meditating or whatever it is you do,
but remember that, just because a
bunch of people think one way, it
doesn’t make them right.
Current students, faculty and staff: Register for carpool/ ride
share online. From UNCA’s homepage, go to Faculty and Staff or
Current Students, then the Web for Students. Scroll down to
Carpool and click it.