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The Blue Banner
November 21,2002
No
Opinions
Blue Banner Editorial
Peek-a-boo
There is room for a variety of serious complaints
about UNCA on any given day. People actually have to
walk more than a few feet to class from their gas-
guzzling SUVs because the parking situation is so
mediocre. We don’t have the world’s only tough-as-
nails Division I liberal arts football team, and there
never seems to be free doughnuts anywhere.
But, it is long past time to point out another injustice
happening everyday to male visitors to the great Karpen
Hall. Not surprisingly, the men of the literature depart
ment and the male staff members of two student pub
lications (all based on the second floor) are the pri
mary target of this embarrasing and ridiculous design
flaw in the building’s construction plan.
The men’s room in the second floor lobby of Karpen
has urinals situated in such a way that passerbyers can
clearly see urinal patrons whenever the door is open.
That’s right. All of the women of Karpen (and anyone
else for that matter) can clearly see urinary activity
when properly positioned in the lobby outside of the
restroom.
While this may be a thrilling experience for some, the
average student or faculty member is not looking to
become an accidental peeping Tom on their way to
another exciting Humanities 324 lecture.
Some wise patrons to the pee-pee-show bathroom in
Karpen have realized the design flaw, and choose the
privacy of a nice stall when peeing, thus avoiding the
array of interesting issues attached to one’s peers see
ing the phallus at work in the john.
The interesting thing here is that no one seems to have
ever cared too much about it. Maybe folks don’t mind.
Some guys like being seen. Some may have even had
better luck dating after viewings by certain passerbyers.
But, for the most part, I think that the boys tire of
being gawked at by whoever happens to stroll by the
men’s room every time the door opens, and most people
who see the action inside the Karpen urinals consider
themselves some sort of strange victims to indecent
exposure.
There is no need to call NASA for a new engineering
scheme for the second-floor men’s room though. If
somebody will please switch the door so that it opens
the opposite way than it does now, there will be no
more need for worry.
It’s important to stay on top of important issues like
this one at a progressive liberal arts school like UNCA.
So go see for yourself. If you’re a guy, go arch one into
the urinals on the second floor of Karpen, glance over
your shoulder when the door opens and smile big when
your favorite literature professor cruises by. Or if you’re
not a boy-person, just hang around in the second floor
lobby between classes. You never know who or what
you might spy.
Nothing in the Opinions section neces
sarily reflects the opinion of the entire
The Blue Banner staff, advisor or the uni
versity faculty, administration or staff. Un
signed editorials reflect the opinion of a
majority of The Blue Banner editorial
board.
The Fall Blue Banner 2002 Staff
Rachel Grumpier
Editor in Chief
Stuart Gaines
News Editor
Hollie Childers
Sports Editor
Elizabeth Moe
Managing Editor
Alan Ambrose
Online Editor
Ed Fickle
Technical Support
Dearborn McCorkle
Features Editor
Jon Fischoff
Photo Editor
Whitney Setser
Copy Editor
Jason McGill
Circulation Manager
Emily Moe
Business Manager
Elizabeth Moe
Advertising Manager
Mark West Faculty Advisor
To reach The Blue Banner staff, call 251-6586 or
e-maU banner@unca.edu
Exam load makes the holidays seem lighter
Sarah-Vance Goodman forward to taking my dog for a
walk, conversing with a buddy over
Columnist ice creami at The Hop and watching
television late at night.
Mid-seinester arrives, and I force
lyself to carry my book bag to class
take it c
Every year about this time in the
semester, I begin to really look for
ward to the upcoming Thanksgiv
ing and Christmas Breaks.
Last Sunday, on my drive to wor
ship service, I heard the first Christ-
song of the year aired over the
radio. The lampposts on Patton
Avenue are already decorated with
holly wreaths, and many of the
specialty shops are offering holiday
sales and festive window displays.
The warm feelings surrounding the
season seem to start earlier every
year, and I wonder when the phrase
“Christmas in July,” will become
eality.
Despite these wonderful events, I
>egin to feel like I am carrying a
little more weight - both physically
and metaphorically. It probably has
something to do with the events
occurring between these lovely holi
days. Understood by anyone in
volved in education, the term ex-
has something to do with the
I fondly remember the beginning
of the semester, still in the summer
months, when I showed up for class
with nothing but a pen and a piece
" paper, wearing a T-shirt and
sneakers. My arms were empty af-
ight class when I strolled down
the walk to my front door amidst
lightening bugs and the sound of
children still playing outside.
I didn’t ask my family to leave the
light on for me, and I didn’t have to
fumble for my house key. I looked
of the backseat
when I get home
for the eve ning. I
shorten my walk
with Happy (my
dog), get in a
brief chat with
my friend on the
phone, while
scooping out the
last of the Ben
and Jerry’s, and
catch the evening
news before hit
ting the books to
get ready for the
next day. At this
point, it seems
like I am just
barely keeping
my head above water.
Now, besides the added clothing
to shield my frame from the winter
cold, I am carrying a lot more on
my shoulders. When I get home in
the evening after a late class, I get
It (exam stress) signals a
grand finale, the ultimate
end of a college term and
a new beginning. It high
lights the joy I will feel,
sittingover Christmas din
ner with nothingto do, but
drink eggnog (un-spiked,
of course) and tell stories
about how horrid the last
two weeks of school
seemed.
think about turning on the televi-
My book bag went from non
existent to a necessity of existence
on campus. I am required to haul
twenty or more pounds of text
books and study
guides to and
from class, to
and from the li
brary and to and
from my house.
At this point,
these things
make me feel
clothed. Some
how, they keep
me warm be
cause without
them I would
feel naked.
What puts this
my mind and
body? What is
this creature
that plagues my
be
r case-, exams c
narrowly defined as an overload on
a human being’s short-term
memory. I say that not to frustrate
professors who wish I would learn
their subjects and store them for
angry if no one left the porch light the long haul, but to try to motivate
for me. I fiimble in the dark for
my keys that I have just thrown in
the bottom of my heavy sack, and
get frustrated when I lodge my fin
ger underneath the 800-page text
book I am expected to memorize. I
forget about the walk with my dog.
nyself and anyone else who has this
problem to make things easier on
ourselves next semester.
For the time being, I will put up
with the over-crowded library. I
will deal with over-dosing on coffee
and soda to keep myself awake.
and would be afraid I would get hit while cramming for a Psychology
by a car in t he dark anyway. I forgo test, the same material I should
my ice cream, and opt for an instant have put into long-term memory at
cappuccino instead. I don’t even the beginning ofthe semester. I will
have to hear my chiropractor com
plain about how out of whack my
spine has become from carrying an
overloaded pack.
I tell myself, and if I were a school
counselor I would tell my clients,
that this is unnecessary stress. I add
it to my life. It is my fault. I could
have been diligent back in the sum
mer when I chose to eat ice cream
and watch re-runs of the “Cosby
Show.” I could have made a con
scious decision to change things
and not get behind. But I didn’t,
and here it is again, that time of the
year when I feel like a bomb ready
to explode.
But, I can do this. I have done this
before. I seem to have a gi:
putting myself through this each
and every semester. I do not think
a semester would feel complete with
out this crunch at the end. It signals
the grand finale, the ultimate end
of a college term and a new begin
ning. It highlights the joy I will feel
sitting over Christmas dinner with
nothing to do, but drink more
nog (un-spiked, of course) and tell
stories about how horrid the last
two weeks of school seemed.
“Prayer” by Langston Hughes de
scribes this feeling perfectly. “Oh,
God of dust and rainbows, help us
see / That without the dust the
rainbow would not be.” Without
darkness, no one would look for
ward to the light, and without evil,
we would not know what is truly
good. Without the hectic craziness
of my life as I know it in this pre
exam state, I woiJd not fully be abk
to enjoy the peaceful calm ofthe post
exam existence - where I look forward
to starting this whole cycle once again.
Clayton goes Klingon
COURTESY OF WWW.NEWNANBIZ.NET/EXCLUSIVELYOURS
One of our favorite staff writers, Chritsina Cla)T:on (far left) shows some leg at the Beach
Bash, a Trekkie convention in Myrtle Beach, S C, Nov. 8 - 10. Clayton is affiliated with
House Ki’RK, where she goes by the Trekkie alias “Scarlett.”
Make us laugh!
Send your cartoons, comics and satire to
The Blue Banner
244 Karpen Hall
251-6586
banner@unca.edu
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