Campus Voice
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3 JO^Oll I The Blue Banner I 14
Virginity double standards hurt
Megan Dombroski
mkdombro@unca.edu
Campus Voice Editor
Everyone remembers
losing his or her virgin
ity.
Unfortunately, double
standards leave men and women with
different feelings about their looks
after they lose their virginity.
According to a study from Pennsyl
vania State University published in the
April issue of Journal of Adolescence,
male students were more satisfied with
their appearance after the first time
they had sex, while female students
were slightly less satisfied.
The study was based on students
who had entered college as virgins,
and used follow-up surveys to deter
mine how their feelings about their
looks changed after they had sex for
the first time.
Traditionally, when a man loses his
virginity, it is viewed as a confirmation
of his manliness and sexual prowess.
When a woman has sex for the first
time, she is “deflowered.”
People think she should have
resisted her own desires. Women are
usually held responsible as the ones
in charge of saying no and protecting
their virginity, even though the deci
sion to have sex requires two consent
ing individuals.
The pressure on a woman to say no
and “hold out” are intense. After all,
a man will never marry a girl that puts
out, right? Why would he buy the cow
when he can get the milk for free?
The same study found that it is sig
nificantly more common for women to
report their first sexual experience left
them feeling less pleasure, satisfaction
and excitement than men, and more
sadness, guilt, nervousness, tension,
embarrassment and fear.
Women should not feel the need to
hide their desire or be ashamed if they
succumb to it and make the decision to
have sex.
Before the sexual revolution of
the ’60s, it was common belief that
women did not enjoy sex. They sim
ply endured it for their husband’s sake
or for procreation. A proper girl never
engaged in premarital sex. Those
who did were considered classless and
dirty.
That sounds a little antiquated and
ridiculous to our generation, but the
“slut shaming” continues and the
negative connotations surrounding sex
are deeply ingrained in some women’s
psyche.
Double standards and gender stereo
typing hurt both men and women. All
men and all women do not fit neatly
into generalized definitions.
Another aspect of the study showed
that men feel worse about themselves
than women as time increases between
sexual intercourse.
During a dry spell, they feel less like
a man.
If our society did view sex as the
ultimate display of masculinity, men
would not feel as bad about them
selves.
This double standard encourages
men to pursue sex like it is some
game. We even refer to sex as “scor
ing.”
It makes men feel like less of a man
if they are not having constant sex
with multiple partners. They may feel
ashamed about addmitting they only
interested in a monogomous, loving
relationship.
Some men will demean women and
use them as a means to prove their
prowess.
The women used by the men feel
hurt and may believe all men are pigs.
It is a vicious cycle that perpetuates
double standards and hurts both sexes.
Not all men are pigs, women aren’t
passive playtoys and no one’s sexual
behaviors should be determined by
their gender
Double standards are deeply in
grained into our society. We have to
pay close attention to our reactions to
avoid continuing them.
When we high five a man for “get
ting laid” but start a rumor about a
woman for having a one-night-stand,
we perpetuate double standards.
Sexual independence is not only
about embracing our own desires, but
also about not judging others for their
sexual choices.
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