November 18,2005— The Clarion
SPORTS
Page 15
Extra Time with Adam:
Steroids and speculation: a
baseball fan's nightmare
by: Adam Beeson
Managing Editor
Let’s all take a minute,
baseball fans, and celebrate
the new penalties for steroid
use in Major League Baseball.
After increased pressure from
Congress, an agreement be
tween owners and players on
the problematic issue was fi
nally resolved Tuesday: first
positive test — 50 game sus
pension; second positive test
— 100 game suspension; third
positive test — a lifetime ban.
While the new punish
ments do wonders for the great
American pastime, 1 feel that
there might be a bigger issue
to be celebrated here; a deeper
issue, perhaps. Today, ladies
and gentlemen, we celebrate
the precious lives of the
flawed athletes who may mess
up next spring and fail their
steroid test. Today, we cel
ebrate the fact that our great
president, George W. Bush, is
not the commissioner of base
ball.
Accusations continue to
be brought forth against the
treatment of war prisoners un
der Bush’s administration. The
latest claim; United States’ of
ficials force two Iraqi men into
a cage full of lions during an
interrogation process. This, on
top of the already pending
physical abuse, sexual abuse,
starvation, chemical burns,
and human pyramid claims,
can only make a baseball fan
cringe at the thought.
But what if Bush would
have accomplished his life
long goal of taking over Bud
Selig’s role as Major League
Baseball commissioner? I’ll tell
you one thing, we wouldn’t be
seeing Rafael Palmeiro’s sweet
little face on television any
longer, telling my
grandfather’s generation how
to improve their game “when
the lights turn low.”
No, this commissioner
would put Palmeiro in his
place, on the wrong end of a
Louisville Slugger with his
back against the wall. “And it’s
not just that Palmeiro left the
Rangers,” Bush would tell the
live Internet audience watch
ing the event unfold, “but still,
Raf, don’t mess with Texas.”
I don’t know, maybe it
wouldn’t be that bad after all.
I’m sure Bush would come up
with some pretty brilliant
ideas.
Here’s one: each team can
have their own unique punish
ment. You play for the Tigers,
you’re thrown into a tiger pit.
You play for the Diamond
backs, you’re stuck in a sewer
full of those deadly things. You
play for the Padres and man,
you’re really screwed. You
have to sit through a Rever
end Jerry Falwell
sermon... twice.
With Thanksgiving just
around the corner, 1 know what
I’ll be giving thanks for this
year, and, baseball fans, I urge
all of you to do the same.
%
The BC goH team is now ranked 25 In the nation
Golf team first in region,
conference, 25 in nation
by Zach Browning
Staff Writer
The Brevard College golf team recently earned the number one
spot in both their Conference and regioin.
The team has played in two tournaments, winning both. The
first was at Broad moor golf course in Asheville, and the other at
Clear Creek in Bristol, Virginia. Michael Burnett placed 3'“* overall at
Broad moor against 12 other teams. At Clear Creek, Matt Bennet
ranked 3rd and Miles Johnston 4th.
The team has also played in two one-day Friendly tourna
ments where they won one and lost the other to the 10* best team
in the country.
For their outstanding achievements, the Brevard College golt
team has been ranked 25th in the nation.
Communities In Schools of
Transylvania County, Inc.
SOS-Support Our Students, Brevard Middle School
198 Fisher Road, Bra/ard, NC 28712
Telephone 828 884-7091
Email mligl^a@transylvanta.kl2.nc,us
Needed: part time help in after-school programs
at Brevard Elementary+Middle Schools.
Full time position available for assistant coordinator at the
Middle school and as substitutes for both schools.
call Jana Jacobs at 885-7390 or 552-4485.
We are happy to work with your college schedule.