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Page 8 THE LAST FRONTIER The Clarion \ Apr. 11, 2008 American Heroes Here at JJie Clarion, we recognize that there is a quality found only in Americans that makes our nation so great in relation to other countries. No, we're not talking about democracy, this quality is much more important. Even when 2/3 of his country no longer supports the war effort in Iraq, Dick Cheney refuses to care about anyone else's opinion on the war Therefore, due to your rugged individualism and egocentric attitude, we salute you, Dick Cheney, this week's American Hero. 7776 Clarion Senior Staff Joseph Chilton Managing Editor: RisaDimond BJ.Wanlund Copy Editor: Open Amethyst Green layout & Design: Travis Wirebacl Open Photo Editor: I'larc Newton Zacl Harding Business IManager: Emily Claris John Lange Faculty Advisor: John B. Padgett Other Staff Karam Boeshaar Joyceann Keever David Ulloa Dabney Farmer IMandi Pearson Nina Willis Shawn James Zachary Porch Ian Wilson Editor in Chief: News Editor: Business Editor: Opinion Editor: Arts & Life Editor: Sports Editor: Unsigned editorials represent the collective opinion of the staff of The Clarion. Other opinions expressed on this page are those of respective authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the faculty, staff or administration of Brevard College. E] Letters Policy The Clarion welcomes letters to the editor. We reserve the right to edit letters for length and content. All letters intended for publication must be signed. All correspondence should be mailed to: The Clarion, Brevard College, One Brevard College Drive, Brevard, NC 28712 Horoscopes by Joseph Chilton and Sam Winn Staff Astrologers Aries: Adopt something small and furry. Robin Williams doesn’t count. Lucky Color: Bacne red (Or white). Taurus: You will win a date with Miley Cyrus, and then ironically she will break your heart. Your achy-breaky heart. Lucky Color: Bulimia green Gemini: Try to make it through the week speaking in nothing but quotes from Pan’s Labyrinth. Lucky Color: Pearly gates Cancer: Winners never quit and quitters never win. So don’t even start and just be not really a winner but not really a quitter either Lucky Color: That monkey from The Lion King's butt blue Leo: Tired of everybody questioning your sexuality? Become a figure skater! Lucky Color: Gangrene Viigo: Celebrate Earth Fest this weekend by carpoohng to an organic farm and working. Then spray an aerosol can at the ozone layer for an hour Lucky Color: Joe DiMaggio Sepia Libra: Move to Canada- it’s like a loft apartment over a really great party. Lucky Color: Melted polar ice cap blue Scorpio: Shave every hair off of your body. It will make you aerodynamic. Lucky Color: Ennui Sagittarius: Go to the horse track and bet on the horse that is best equipped. Lucky Color: Pepto Bismol pink Capricorn: Sell your soul for killer guitar skills. You’ll go to Hell, but you’ll be the coolest kid in school. At least until the Guitar Hero fad ends. Lucky Color: Whiter than Jonathan Whitson. Aquarius: If you happen to be an Aquarius and a basketball coach, recruit the girl from Tennessee that looks like Juno. Please. Lucky Color: Orange Tic-Tacs Pisces: No matter how bad you have to go, don’t whiz on the electric fence! Lucky Color: Boom goes the dynamite red
Brevard College Student Newspaper
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April 18, 2008, edition 1
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