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Page 8 THE LAST FRONTIER The Clarion \ Oct. 8,2010 Your Horoscope: Aries (March 21-April 19): Remember: "god" means something to everyone, but only you, and those that agree with you, are right. Lucly Character Trait: Intolerance Taurus (April 20-i^1ay20): The mind is a thing of infinite beauty. Too bad yours is filled with B-list celebrity trivia and bong resin. Lucky Smell: Stale Laundry Gemini (i^lay 21-June 20): They say having a child changes everything, but what they mean is "keeping" a child. Lucky Hot-Button Issue: Economic Policy, believe it or not. Cancer (June 21-Juiy 22): Try not to let pessimism or negativity get in your way this week. You have a hard enough time not screwing up everything on your own. Lucky Chemical Messenger: Dopamine Leo (July 23-Aug. 22): The stars indicate you are ahead of your time, trouble is, only by about three and a half minutes. Lucky Idea: Blanket with sleeves! ...Damn Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22): Afresh suit and a firm handshake will help you make strides in the world of being a humongous douche. Lucky Knot: Half Windsor 1. Ass Glue (tonic from donkey parts; China) 2. Blue Peter (canned fish; Norway) 3. Colon Plus (liquid detergent; Spain) 4. Fockink (liquer; Netherlands) 5. Green Piles (lawn fertilizer; Japan) 6. Homo Sausage (beef jerky; Japan) 7. Homyphon (video-recorder; Austria) 8. Krapp (toilet-paper; Sweden) 9. Last Climax (tissues; Japan) 10. Mucos (soft drink; Japan) Delivered by your astrologically challenged Managing Editor: Daniel Heyman Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 23): They say you have the voice of an angel. After that it’s mostly mean-spirited laughter Lucky Orifice: Satan’s Anal Crevice Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21): The giant pain in your ass this week isn’t your classmates, but we don’t blame you for confusing them with colon cancer Lucky Probe: A Cold, Yet Inviting Medical Spatula Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21): Look to decent journalism for inspiration this week. Do it for as many ungodly hours as it takes for it to sink in. Lucky Bad Influence: Geraldo Rivera Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 20): Misery loves company, but you’ve been crashing on its couch for like a month now... and, well, you’re starting to bum misery out. Lucky Cleaning Product: Just a Bath Would Do Wonders at This Point Aquarius (Jan. 21 - Feb. 19): If there is any doubt as to what time it is, let the stars break it down for you: It’s game time. Lucky Inherently Racist Chant: Who Dat? Pisces (Feb. 20 - March 20): The drop bear will find you, and he will end you. Lucky Food Paste: Vegemite 12. Pipi (orangeade; Yugoslavia) 13. Plopp (chocolate bar; Sweden) 14. Polio (detergent; Czechoslovakia) 15. Pschitt (soft drink; France) 16. Shitto (hot sauce; Ghana) 17. Skinababe (baby cleanser; Japan) 18. Superglans (car wax; Netherlands) 19. Trim Pecker (trousers; Japan) 20. Zit (lemon-lime soda; Greece) Ame/^ican He>?o In almost doppelganger-llke fashion, a 31 year old Ohio woman plead guilty to posing as a teenage boy to trick teenage girls into sexual experiences. Patricia Dye's descent to an almost unthinkable low resulted in charges of sexual imposition for her actions. So for living the plot of "Boys Don't Cry" 11 years after production, keeping it preposterously sleazy and preying on teenage girls half her age. Dye is this week's American Hero. WANTED Staff members to write, report, photo graph, draw, edit, and sell advertise ments for the student newspaper. The Clarion needs your help! As a volunteer staff member, you can • earn academic credit in COM 106 • get a cool T-shirt for a job well done • reap financial rewards for serving Brevard College • know about "stuff' before everyone else does • sit in the Clarion office for 30 hours a week Staff meetings are open to all Fridays at 11:30 a.m. in IVI-G 102 of the Week; Ill-fated foreign products FOCKJJVJC 11. Pansy (men’s underwear; China)
Brevard College Student Newspaper
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Oct. 8, 2010, edition 1
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