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Volume 80, Issue 19 Web Edition
www.brevard.edu/clarion
SERVING BREVARD COLLEGE SINCE 1935
on
@ BCclarion
February 11, 2015
Single girl's guide to Valentine's Day
By Gabby Smith
Opinion Editor
If you were to right now google “Valentine's
Day for singles,” you’d get back a million hits
with suggestions of how to be single during Val
entines Day and not seem pathetic. However, upon
reading these suggestions you’d realize that they
themselves are pretty pathetic. “Love yourself
extra,” “treat yourself to chocolate,” “give and
be happy for others.” You’d feel more depressed
by reading about Valentine’s day than you would
being dumped on Valentine's Day. Why is it such
a bad thing to be single on Valentine's? People are
single all the time, so why does this particular day
have to be any worse, the answer is that it doesn’t.
So now, being a single girl myself. I’ve decided
to write a non-pathetic and actually realistic way
to celebrate the day even if you’re single.
The Single Girls Guide to Valentine's Day
Step 1: Look fierce!
Ok, so everybody else is going to look their best
because they expect their significant other to take
notice and buy them expensive stuff, but us single
girls have different motives. Dress to depress,
look so good that you make other girls wish they
had thought to wear that. At the end of the day
you don’t have to look good for anybody but you.
Step 2: Eat everything!
You don’t need to eat dainty bites because, un
like homegirl with the hot boyfriend who works
at Starbucks, you aren’t going out to dinner with
anybody and even if you were why limit yourself
that way? Don’t eat a salad, eat a steak! Also, don’t
eat chocolate just because it’s Valentine's, eat it
because you like it and you’d eat it any other time.
Step 3: Talk that Talk!
I’m firmly against homewrecking, but if you’ve
got game now is the perfect time to use it. Flirt
a little or a lot depending on your own personal
preference. Or if you’re not into talking to actual
people just look at all those guys you like on TV
and tell them what’s what. The point is that you
already look good and have treated yourself to
a fine meal so now be the diva that you really
are and stalk some man-meat, or woman-meat
because I don’t discriminate in my articles.
Step 4: Do you, Literally!
We’re in college so it’s safe to assume that the
vast majority of us either have sex or masturbate
on a semi-constant basis, that being said, today
is your day. So what, you don’t have a significant
other? If it hasn’t stopped you before, why should
it stop you now? Not having a “bae” on Valentine's
Day doesn’t mean you shouldn’t feel satisfied.
Step 5: Laugh at pathetic gifts
Alright so this might be a tad bit mean but
nevertheless it’s great. As a girl we know when a
gift says “baby I love you” and when it says “I’m
a cheap piece of crap and you shouldn’t have sex
with me ever.” Because we know these things, it is
perfectly ok to discretely laugh at gifts that go into
the second category, because though she might say
she likes it, you know what she’s really thinking.
Step 6: Keep it moving!
There’s nobody around to judge if you binge
watch Scandal on Netflix, or eat your weight in
potato chips, or put avocado mask on your face,
and for this very reason you should do all those
things. Don’t let the lack of a significant other
send you into a downward spiral where you go
to sleep in tears, instead feel free to do the things
you’d normally do at night whatever they may
be. Valentine's Day is a measly 24 hours in what
is better known as the rest of your life.
So that concludes the Single Girls Guide to
Valentine's Day. You don’t have to take my advice,
but the point of the matter is that just because
you’re single doesn’t mean you have to feel bad
or talk about how perpetually lonely you are, do
the things that you’d normally do that make you
happy, because really that’s what Valentine's Day
is about.
Prose & Con(gress}
By Sam Blakley
Editor in Chief
Valentine’s Day is coming up and like every
year of my life so far, it snuck up on me. I prob
ably wouldn’t have known it was this weekend if
not for the Clarion.
Like most other days, I will probably spend it
sitting alone in my room watching the Daily Show
on my computer and making a point to ignore
my homework. Like many of my LGBT peers, I
haven’t really gotten to participate in Valentine’s
Day in the past.
Because I attend a school with a limited gay
population and because I have known I was gay
and have been fairly open about my sexuality
for a number of years now, I haven’t really done
Valentine’s Day. And, although I still won’t do
anything special this year, this year will be differ
ent for many LGBT community members.
Valentine’s day has become a classic day for
marriages, which makes sense as one of the only
love centered holidays, and this year more people
have the option to get married in their home state
than ever before.
Free to love: America moves towards
marriage equality
With a solid majority of states now allowing
for same-sex marriages and a Supreme Court
decision coming up in June, this year is definitely
one to be excited for. Never before have I been
able to comfortably say that we may see same-
sex marriages be possible all across the country.
Now I feel I can.
Now I won’t try to make any moral argument
here. I won’t tell you how to believe and I will
appreciate it if you don’t tell me who to love, or
sleep with depending on the circumstance. But,
I will say that whether we agree or not the dis
position of the country is forward move toward
marriage equality.
Of course, there are always pockets of dissent
when it comes to topics such as this, people who
seem set on disagreeing. Take Alabama for ex
ample, Monday the marriage ban for same-sex
couples was officially lifted. The very next day,
yesterday, a judge set the hearing date to decide
if local judges had to issue the licenses. This hap
pened because nearly two-thirds of the counties
in Alabama decided to not issue licenses despite
the lifting of the ban.
A lot is happening to add to the confusion in
this case, but the point is although advances are
being made there are still setbacks.
My hope comes from a different part of the
country, namely Washington, DC. The Supreme
Court has hinted at a decision for the national
same-sex case to be decided in June.
On Monday, when Alabama went into crisis
mode as the gays flooded the courthouses to re
ceive marriage licenses, state officials requested
the Supreme Court hold the decision, pending
appeals. The Supreme Court denied this request.
With a decision coming up in June, just around
the comer now, why would the Supreme Court
allow marriages that would then be reversed in
a few months?
It is probably because they don’t intend to
revoke those licenses.
This is the great news. For the first time, there is
hope that this year Valentine’s can be enjoyed by
LGBT couples like anyone else. Maybe someday
even I will spend Valentine’s enjoying the com
pany of a loved one and not just my computer, but
this is a pretty good start.