Volume 2019
SERVING BREVARD COLLEGE LIKE NO ONE ELSE
April 1, 2019
BC adds more acronyms on campus
By Don Trime
CREEPIN Correspondent
Citing a nationwide movement toward
more appropriate-sounding synonyms for
schools, universities and colleges (or ASS-
SUC), Brevard College will be implementing
additional acronyms, abbreviations and cryptic
alphanumeric character combinations to refer
to places, programs and even a few people on
campus.
The Executive Leadership Team (ELT),
the Academic Leadership Team (ALT) and
the Experiential Learning Commons (ELC)
joined with the Curriculum Development and
Assessment Committee (CDAC) to study the
issue and make recommendations. This ELT/
ALT/ELC/CDAC task force’s first task: to
rename itself into the Committee to Rethink
Experiential Education Programs, Ideas and
Names or CREEPIN.
“Our long-term studies have consistently
demonstrated we do not need more money for
programs or better facilities in which to live,
work and leam,” CREEPIN chair April Folsday
said. “What we really need are more acronyms,
like ‘BORG’ and ‘WLEE.’ These really help
make Brevard College stand out, especially
to first-year students and new faculty trying
to figure out why we constantly refer to ‘Star
Trek’ villains and jocular nicknames for folks
named ‘William.”’
With “BORG” and “WLEE” serving as models
of what they hope to accomplish, CREEPIN
has already come up with the following name
change suggestions for signature programs and
majors on campus.
The music major will be renamed
Instrumentation and Musicological Art and
Science Of Lyrics, Movements, Arrangements
and Notation, or IMASOLMAN.
The art major is going to a more specific name
highlighting its principal media: Sculpture, Art
and Digital Media Experiences, or SADME.
The Integrated Studies major has spawned a
new major highlighting the two most common
groupings of disciplines, to be named Bachelor
of Arts Degree in Communication and Political
Science, or BADCOPS.
Criminal Justice has been renamed Penal
Experiences and Rehabilitation Practices, or
PERP.
The IWIL program. Institute for Women in
Leadership, has been rebranded for the “Me
Too” generation as the Institute for Women
Outraged by Nonconsensual Touching, or
IWONT.
The Math and Science Division is reversing
the order of its constituent names to be called
the Science and Math, or S&M, Division. One of
the majors in the renamed division is changing
its name to Health, Occupational Therapy and
Science of Exercise, or HOTSEX.
The Theatre program is not changing its name,
but to be more consistent in spelling, the Porter
Center has been renamed the Porter “Centre,”
the associated teacher licensure program is now
“teachre” licensure, and theatre professor Peter
Savage is now “Petre” Savage.
CREEPIN has also taken on the issue of place
names on campus.
“We discovered that we have far too many
different place names on campus, and that people
are not sufficiently confused by terms like ‘the
Caf’ or ‘Coltrane,’” Folsday said. “I mean,
when someone says ‘Bill’s Boiler House,’ who
really knows what that refers to? And who the
heck is ‘Bill’?”
To remedy these problems, CREEPIN is
recommending the following changes:
With only three areas on campus currently
referred to as “Beam,” the residence area
currently known as the Villages will be renamed
North Beam and South Beam. The administration
building will be redubbed Jim Beam.
Dunham will be renamed West Jones, Stanback
Hall will be renamed East Jones, and Jones
Hall will be renamed Middle Jones. The Jones
Library will be renamed to either Indiana Jones,
Casey Jones or James Earl Jones, pending the
outcome of an opinion poll on campus. Stamey
Hall, the smaller building between West and
Middle Jones, will be renamed “Keeping Up
See CREEPIN, page H4
White squirrels dyed for Easter
This Easter, on April 21, Brevard College is
honoring the Christian holiday in a very special
way. The infamous white squirrels that can be
found all over campus will be dyed various
colors like easier eggs.
—Aia Andonovska
The plan is to catch as many white squirrels
as possible so students can partake in the fun
and dye them too. A non-toxic dye will be
See 'Easter,' page H4