Volume 750 ml
SERVING BREVARD COLLEGE (BUT TAKE-OUT ONLY)
April 1, 2020
Man's best friend for prez
By Caroline Hoy
In November of this year there will be a very
important election. The people of the United
States will vote for who they think the new
president should be.
However, earlier this week there was a new
candidate. I think this is a candidate we can all
get behind. He is kind, playful and outspoken.
He has competed in some talent shows showing
off his amazing agility and shing in beauty
shows with his beautiful blond hair.
Of course President Trump hates this new
candidate. He says that the new candidate is
just like all the others of his kind. But anyone
who meets Chance knows otherwise. Just the
other day. Chance was seen spending time with
little kids in the library for the reading program.
Chance sat there calmly listening to the children
reading to him.
Chance is known for wearing one of his many
different ties. He also tried to make his hair as
soft as possible when he goes out in public.
Almost everyone seems to want to say hello
to him when they see him in public.
Many cities across the United States have
elected a dog as the mayor so why can’t
See 'Prez,' page 8
Chance
From tornadoes
to white squirrels!
Brevard College ehanges mascot
By Mickayla Smith
On April 1, Brevard College will be
replacing its current Tornado mascot to our
beloved campus pets, the white squirrels!
It seemed fitting to switch mascots because
many people outside of campus do not equate
our college to represent a tornado. Some
community members have always thought
that the white squirrels have been our mascot
for many years. Now they are getting what
they have asked for.
Soon campus will file out all old merchandise
and replace it with new merchandise. There
are choices for how people want the squirrel
to look like on swag from the college. The
first option is to have a plain white squirrel
sitting in an upright position. The second
option is to have a squirrel holding a nut
and a textbook, to represent the location
of our college in the woods, and Brevard’s
dedication to educating young adults. The
third option is a white squirrel standing
upright, holding representation for the arts
and sciences.
See 'Mascot,' page 8
BREVARD
COLLEGE
Photo by Chloe McGee
Brevard College's new emblem featuring the
white squirrel.
A note from the editor (seriously...)
Starting on this page is our regular April Fool’s Day tradition: The Hilarion. We thought about foregoing our April Fool’s issue this
year, given the very real seriousness of the COVID-19 pandemic that has altered our lives in so many ways. We decided, however, that
we owed it to our readers to offer at least some respite from the daily news of rising infection rates, health care workers risking their
lives to save others and the ever-mounting death toll. We hope our efforts will bring a smile and remind you, if only for a little while, of
what “normal life” at Brevard College on April 1 should look like.