Page 2 LAMBDA Oct. '9? Co-editot fi Comet by Jennifef Poorbqugh And Cwlg ledfbPd Alcn are From Mars, Women are From Venus, by John Gray, has been on the best-seller's bst for years. This book gives hands-on advice for married cou ples (heterosexual, mind you) on how to be more happy, to get along better, to have a relationship that works. He has written an entire series on how men and women differ, and how to work around these differences to create meaningful, heterosexual relation ships. However, his basic premise for all these books, the premise he is selling to America, is false. He assumes that men and women are so different they might as well be from different planets. Gray tells us that men are goal-oriented Mr. Fix /i’s and women are social be ings who just want to talk. Be cause of this, he explains, when women want to talk about their bad day, they just want to talk but men want to solve their problems. On the other hand, if a man has a bad day, he will interpret a woman trying to get him to talk about it as an insult because he wants to solve his problem on his own time. These differences, he says indi rectly by stating them as facts, are innate. This is not true. While men are more likely to keep their feelings inside than women, this difference occurs because of the way we are socialized by our par ents, our siblings, our friends, our teachers, tv shows and commeri- dals, newspapers, magazines, ad vertisements, and just about any thing else that exists in society. In fact, I would propose the idea that most of the differences between the sexes are due to socialization. Little boys see everywhere im agery that it is bad to be not be agressive, to show your feelings, bascially to be feminine. Little girls discver that it is better for them to be polite, well-mannered, and to play with dolls. These are the roles society lays out for us, and this is where differences ap pear between genders. So, when Gray is solving all heterosexual marriage conflicts, he is ignoring why these conflicts appear in the first place. Instead, he, and all the rest of us, should focus on why what sex you are plays such an important role in who you become and what activities are okay for you to enjoy. On another note... New York, Sept. 23— The military’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” pobcy does not discriminate against homosexuals, a federal ap peals court ruled Wednes day (2 3rd), overturning a lower court decision. In a 28-page rul ing, a three-judge panel of the 2nd U.S. District Court of Appeals up held the 1994 legislation that insti tuted the policy. “We will not substitute our judgment for that of Congress,” the panel said. In 1995, ^.S. District Court Judge Eugene Nickerson became the first federal judge to strike down the policy. A military “called on to fight for the princi ples of equabty and free speech embodied in the United States Constitution should embrace those principles in its own ranks,” Nickerson wrote. In a related story, the Navy has gotten itself into trouble trying to honorably discharge a Senior Chief Petty Office Timo thy McVeigh (no relation to the convicted Oklahoma City bomber). Apparently, a naval in vestigator was surfing AOL and found the word “gay” in the mari tal status of McVeigh’s member profile. Without identifying him self, the investigator told an AOL representative named “Ovyen” that he just wanted to verify that the person with McVeigh’s screen- name was the person that he had received a fax from—something that is a violation of the AOL members’ terms of service. AOL’s service contract states that it will only give out the personal information of its dients if a law- enforcement agency presents to them a subpoena, court order, or search warrant. By not identify ing themselves and receiving informa tion under false pretenses, the NAVY violated the Electronic Communications Privacy Act. However, the Navy pursued a continued on page 9 Untitled by Jeffrey Beem The evening’s feebJe CTJi ippled feeling o mv loneliness Then a breeze The flowers The breeze Mis moist cheek his mouth his breath the thorn less ro.se We .said soodni^ht Death would have ta.sted better