By Craig ledford
Coming out, many people would say, is a
difficult thing to do. I can remember the time of my
coming-out as if it were yesterday. I believe that it
was one of the scariest moments of my life, but one
that I am altogether happy to have experienced.
It all began on one crisp summer evening as
me and a group of my close friends were driving
back to Asheboro (my hometown)from a long day in
the hot summer sun at Carowinds in Charlotte. We
were all so worn-out, and yet somehow I ended-up
with the responsibility of driving us home. I was
driving my friend’s little burgundy Ford escort...
EEK! It was a stickshift.
Everyone in the car, excepting me and my
best friend Lee, was asleep. In a groggy-of-mind, I
can remember commenting to my friend, “I like this
stickshift.” He turned from his ill-attempt at slum
ber (mainly because I was blasting club music) and
looked at me and said, “I bet you do.”
From that moment forward, I knew that I
had to get this whole “gay thing” off my chest.
After he made that comment in the car, I told him
that I had to tell him something, but said that I’d do
it later. I had suspected for a while that my friend
was gay- you know, it’s the gaydar- but with my
underdeveloped gaydar, 1 wasn’t sure. It was a most
uncomfortable time for me.
One week later, after being continuously
asked what was on my mind, I gave-in. “Lee,” I
said, “Do you remember hearing a radio commercial
on 106.5 The End for a personal ad compahy... the
one that said ‘we have the person for you, whether
you’re straight, or a little bent...’?”
After a couple of seconds he said that he did
remember the ad, mostly because he found it SO
incredibly annoying. '
Nervously, I said, “Well, if I were to call
that company. I’d have to press the #2 button for the
‘bent’ section.”
Immediately, he knew what I was talking
about and began to tell me that he
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too was questioning his sexuality. He started by
telling me that he was bisexual, but I was like, “Oh,
puh-lease!” I mean, really... picturing him with a
girl was like picturing Janet Reno with a guy!
During the next few weeks, we became even
closer friends, and developed a friendship that has
lasted to this day. Lee'has now been my best friend
since the ninth grade... that’s why it was so difficult
to see him struggle with whether or not he should
tell his parents of his new affirmation.
One day, in passing, he flagged me over on
the side of the highway. He told me that he had to
tell his mom, and that that night was going to be the
night.
The next couple of months would be very
traumatic for the both of us. His mom flipped, and
told my family about my sexuality. The immense
pressure that his mom was placing on him to be
“normal” eventually led to him moving into my
house.
Now that I reflect on that period of my life,
I see it as one of the best. We had a blast, and my
family was totally cool with the both of us. I can
remember telling my mom that I was gay... I was
like, “Mom, I’m gay.” She just looked at me with a
half-smile on her face and said, “Duh, we were just
waiting on you to tell us!” It was then that I knew
that I was “normal” and that I had to make my mark
on the world.
I became SO comfortable with my sexuality
that I eventually came-out to the majority of my
friends at my high school. To my surprise, no one
really cared that much about it. They were like,
“ok.” An issue that I had long thought would
separate me from my friends and make me different,
in a negative light, was really nothing more than
another part of me that others seemed to have al
ready