Let’s talk about disgust, your children and your irrational fears
used against you
in a harassment
UNC does have a
policy of non
based on sexual
not advertised by
By Doug Dukeman
All this controversy about you has got me going
mad. I’m speaking, of course, about the incident in
your “Literature and Cultural Diversity” class on Feb.
5. Fm speaking about you, sir. Alay I call you “Tim”?
Remember that hypothetical situation you drew up?
You know, the one where you are attending a baseball
game with your future children. All of a sudden,
you and your children are in the presence of a same-
gender male couple being affectionate. Personally, you
remarked, you would not want to have to explain to
your children what was going on. Me either!
Shouldn’t kids know about icky things like affection
by then. Don’t their schools teach them this stuff?
I wouldn’t worry too much, Tim. Your children
will probably explain it Xojou.
By then, the once-secret-but-now-revealed
“homosexual agenda” will have come to fruition.
Your children will no doubt have seen thousands
of same-gender couples marry across the country
and have a few LGBTQ folk teaching them math or
reading skills in school. Of course, they’ll have friends
who are gay, bisexual or lesbian and even friends
with same-gender parents. They’ll no doubt see the
confusion in yoxir face when you notice the men
embracing, perhaps even explaining to you how their
favorite cartoon character them that love can be
shown by a whole range of couples — interracial,
same-gender, different-gender, old and young. Well,
more likely, it’ll be so commonplace they won’t even
notice it. But what they will notice as they grow up,
is how homophobic you are. Perhaps they’ll even
write you off as another “old-fashioned
homophobe” to be left alone in your irrational fear.
But no, you protest, “homosexuality is a sin”.
Were a man to hit on you, you say, there’d be no
need to be frightened. Of course, some “disgust”
would be on the menu. Well don’t worry, Tim. I’m
glad you were able to express how you felt and let go
of your irrational fears. Perhaps this particular class
wasn’t the best forum, but no doubt you needed
the reassurance of all those like-minded similarly-
disgusted folk in your “cultural diversity” class. I
hear tlie oppressed conservative minority on campus
sign up for that class in droves.
I’m still unsure though as to why you’d find it so
disgusting to be hit on by a man. I’ve found if you
broadcast your disgust wherever you go, most self-
respecting men will think twice about making a pass
at you. Perhaps what is disgusting is how you might
react.Your homophobia could come out as anger or
even violence. Would you lash out? A true dilemma:
a man imable to handle himself in the face of
flirtatiousness — let’s say it together — “disgusting”.
Ahh — doesn’t that feel better?
If only you’d commented earlier in the class
discussion, you would have been a perfect illustration
of how heterosexual masculinity is affected by"
homosexuality. You would have made an excellent
case study. No doubt, this is why you spoke up
when you did. I’m sure you understood the material
quite well. Recognizing in yourself the very privilege
you’d be discussing in class for weeks, you no doubt
wanted to offer yourself up as an example of a victim
of societal heterosexism and homophobia. This
was a cry for help, wasn’t it? I hear your pleas, brother.
Now let me offer you some advice.
First, don’t be ashamed of your condition. We’re
all affected by heterosexism and homophobia. The
important first step is recognizing that — and you’ve
done it! You know, if I’d just made a breakthrough
like that and broadcast it to my entire class through
descriptive hypothetical situations and stunning 16'*’-
century Biblical exegesis. I’d probably contact a U.S.
Congressperson too to express my happiness. It’s a
good thing you have those connections.
Secondly, don’t be afraid to testify in the sexual
harassment suit that is being brought against your
instructor. After all, what right does she have to call
you out as being male! Your gender identity is none
of her business. Who’s to say you’ve made up your
mind on that one. I stick behind you 100%. Suppose
you’d wanted to identify as female that day. Now
what do you say? Another victim of a sexist society.
Finally, don’t worry about your comments being
used against you in a harassment allegation or
anything. While UNC does have a policy of non
harassment and non-discrimination based on sexual
orientation, it’s not advertised by the Chancellor each
semester. He only tells students by email about the
sexual and racial harassment policies. And don’t
even worry about students finding it online, it’s not
to be found imder the list of policies in the Policy
section of the UNC website. And even if a student
somehow manages to scrounge up a hnk God-
knows-where, it’ll no doubt be broken. I’m pretty
confident that any student who wants to bring a
harassment claim against you will just get frustrated
after hours of searching the web. They’ll no doubt
feel more violated by the University’s complacency in
preventing sexual orientation harassment than by
anjlhing you could say. Cheer up! Oh, and don’t be
so disgusted with yourself. I’m confident you are
on the path to recovery. •