on
Where the He
• • •
are all of the feminist queer men?
By Trevor Hoppe
Over the holiday break I had a chance to mingle
^vith some of my friends back home in Charlotte. I
^vent to a number of parties and had a chance to
have some excellent conversations with a number
of gay and bisexual men who I have, at one time or
another, called my friends. They are men with whom
I always have been extremely candid, sharing my pas
sions and the most intimate details of my life. They
are the support network I turn to for camaraderie
and, more recendy, political dialogue.
This time when I returned home I found myself
oiuch more detached from many of my friends.
Over the past year, and particularly over the Fall se-
oiester, my politics have shifted from the left to the
far left as I began to explore feminist theory and
other critical social analyses. Thus when I began to
*iiscuss these topics with some of my gay and bi
sexual male friends back home, I expected to be re
ceived with some level of interest. Instead, I usually
found myself being given the cold shoulder.
In retrospect, I have noticed in my experiences
over the past six years of being involved with gay
(niosdy white) male communities that feminist and
progressive ideals are increasingly being shunned and
tiismissed by many of my gay male peers. This shift
tn ideologies within the community over the past 30
years represents an alarming historical disconnect,
f^ur community, of which the early thinkers cel
ebrated progressive thought, is increasingly espous-
sexist, racist and classist beliefs and, in doing so,
'reinforcing the institutions that perpetuate the ho-
oaophobia that we seek to end.
Where the hell are all the feminist queer men?
As I have begun to see the world through a femi
nist lens I have foimd it difficult to communicate
''nth gay male peers who find it perfectly acceptable
to use rabidly sexist language. I challenge my gay
niale peers to evaluate their own sexist language. In
utilizing this language you are supporting a sexist
system that is at the heart of the heterosexism and
homophobia that you face. To be sexist is to sup
port your enemies.
^lany people simply fail to make the connection
between sexism and heterosexism. It is not simply
because of who we sleep with that we are attacked
at night or denied respect and dignity without ever
revealing our sexuality. Our popular culture has con
nected non-straight sexualities with feminine men
and masculine women. In a society where these
stereot)q5es are coupled with the widespread sex
ism that values men and masculinity over women
and femininity, it is only logical that gay men, who
are considered weak and feminine, will be treated
with less respect than straight men, who are con
sidered strong and masculine. Similar analyses can
be employed to understand how sexism supports
the heterosexism our lesbian and bisexual female
peers face.
Once the connection between the two faces of
oppression has been made, it is clear how using
sexist language and supporting sexist institutions
support those working to push LGBTIQ people
back in the closet and out of mainstream society.
One clear example of this language that I hear fre
quently is gay and bisexual men questioning lesbi
ans as to how exactly they have sex. Underlying this
seemingly innocent question is a phallocentric sex
ist mindset that represses female sexuality and
makes it difficult to fathom sexual intercourse with
out a male. Feminism can give you the tools to
understand how sexist comments and practices like
this not only support a patriarchy that assails the
human dignity of all women but that also under
mines any effort toward equality for sexual minori
ties.
So this is my challenge to every gay, bisexual and
queer male on this campus and elsewhere: evaluate
your own language and practices with a feminist
mindset, as well as those of your peers. When you
look closely, I think that you will begin to see what
I see - a community bujting into the dominant
white upper middle class patriarchy that offers you
second-class citizenship at best. Seeing this will un
doubtedly create a need to be involved in LGBTIQ
activism not just during your limited time here on
campus, but for the rest of your lives. •
13
Evaluate your
own language
and practices
with a feminist
mindset, as well
as those of your
peers.