February 5, 1963
Columns
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Page three
Like An H-Bomb
Playing Contract Bridge Has Struck at Louisburg Jr. College
SPECIAL NOTE: Some of the
following material was borrowed
from several bridge sources.
By SAM SHIELD
In the history of mankind, there
seem to be certain phenomena, cer
tain subjects and categories, which
are apt to explode whole popula
tions into frenzies of excitement. To
name a few, there are children
trapped in wells, religious persecu
tion, invasions from Mars, escapes
by long term prisoners, and —
bridge. Each year this mad craze
hits the campus of Louisburg Col
lege like an H-bomb and everyone
succumbs to the radition. Nobody
seems to know who starts the fad
each year, but the enthusiasm of
the players keeps the game going at
all hours of the day and night. No
body seems to know about the his
tory of the game either.
It has been said that bridge was
invented in a mental ward in Con
stantinople, but to accept this theory
is to deny the great progress made
by Turkish psychiatry.
The game really started when
a politician named Talleyrand once
invited a young man to make a
fourth at whist. Now do not ask me
what whist is. The young man ex
plained that he did not know the
game, whereupon a shocked Talley
rand exclaimed; “Young man, you
do not play whist? What a sad old
age you reserve for yourself.”
Whist, by Talleyrand, led to
bridge whist, which led to auction
bridge, which led to contract bridge,
which led to murder, divorce, sui
cide, mayhem, and undone home
work.
Essentially, you are playing whist
when you play bridge. Contract
bridge is a sort of high-falutin’
whist. In 1860, bridge-whist came
to life. It was more complex than
whist in that the dealer had the
right to select trump instead of turn
ing up the last card for trump. The
person sitting to the dealers’ left
could decline his trump bid with
one of his own, and hence bridge
was started.
Now, of course, the Russians say
they invented it as a pleasant di
version to occupy their time when
they were not busy inventing the
steam engine, the Norden bomb
sight, and the pizza. The Russians
played a game called “biritch,”
which some say could have been
the orgin of the word “bridge.”
Gradually bridge replaced whist
in England and America. Scoring
was even more weird than it is today.
When spades were trump, each trick
counted two points, clubs were four,
diamonds six, hearts eight and no-
trump ten or twelve. Each trick
above six counted towards game,
and thirty points was game. You
could double and redouble all night.
In New York one night a bid of
three no-trump was doubled and re
doubled eight times. The original
doubler made good his bid and the
net penalty was 10,240 points.
They voted on the spot that the
number of doubles and redoubles
be limited to one.
Finally on a cruise from San
Francisco to Havana on the liner
Finland Harold Vanderbilt and
three companions played almost pre
cisely the game of bridge that we do
today. Vanderbilt announced that
bidders would get toward game only
what they bid. He changed the scor
ing system, raising the game re
quirement from 30 to 100, chang
ing trick values to 35 points for
no-trump, 30 for spades and hearts,
and 20 for clubs and diamonds. The
vulnerability factor was also added.
By 1930 this new type of bridge
almost totally replaced auction
bridge.
The first murder attributed to
bridge occurred in 1929 when Mrs.
John Bennett shot her husband over
a hand in which he was set. After
the murder, the bridge mad United
States put on a fascinating display
of loss of balance. The consuming
questions by the public were not
about the murder, but about the
bridge game. Ely Culbertson, who
was considered the Goren of the
“roaring 20’s,” wrote a book en
titled, How Bennett Could Have
Saved His Life. It explained how
Bennett could have made the con
tract. By the way, Mrs. Bennett was
acquitted.
Bridge is a physical game. No
bridge player should sit down at the
table unless he has gone at least
ten rounds with a good aggressive
boxer, or taken three tests in a row.
Bridge is one of the wildest con
tact sports. Not only is there the
danger of clobbering by one’s part
ner, but there is the danger of what
one might do to oneself in a mo
ment of frenzy or depression.
In Chicago, a woman picked up
a hand containing thirteen dia
monds and won the contract at six
no-trump (!) When she was set
twelve tricks, her husband hit her
with a cut-glass bowl and won a
divorce.
Another husband got a divorce
when his wife doubled a four dia
mond bid, trumped her husband’s
ace lead, handed the opponents ten
tricks, and failed to take her hus
band out of a one no-trump double,
all in one night; and all in the same
night he beat her up.
Harry Meacham of Wilkesboro,
North Carolina, weary of holding
bad hands all night, swore he would
kill the next person who dealt him a
bust. Meacham was as good as his
word. On the next deal he picked
up a ten-high hand and shot him
self.
Louisburg College is 176 years
old, and from what I have found
out, bridge is the biggest fad to hit
the campus every year. Not only are
we the oldest junior college in the
nation, but we are the oldest con
tinuing bridge playing college in the
United States. I don’t know, but
maybe even England too.
Now let us look at how bridge is
played at Louisburg. The beginner
at bridge would have the experts
rolling in laughter. There are hun
dreds of ways to cheat at bridge,
all of them inefficient, but the be
ginner seems to think that some
sort of system can be set up.
What to bid???
DO YOU PLAY ? ?
Back to class you go!!
Especially at bidding. The begin
ner is usually confused at the
process of bidding and sometimes
wonders what his partner has meant
by a certain bid, or if the opponent’s
partner understands what he has
bid.
Bridge, I have observed, is re
freshingly free from pure cheating.
But it is wildly rampant with cof-
feehousing. The other day two
couples were playing bridge in the
girls dorm, and one player an
nounced, “Well, I bid a spade, but
1 really shouldn’t,” thus telling
everybody that she had twelve
points and no rebiddable suit. In
another game, the bidding was as
follows;
South; One heart.
North; One spade
South; Two hearts!
North; Two spades.
South; Three hearts!!!
North; Four clubs.
South; I bid the fourth and last
heart!
Equally lacking in malicious in
tent, but equally informative, are
the bids which are described as “the
hesitating pass, the hopeless pass, the
brisk pass, the disgusted pass, the
reluctant declaration, the firm dec
laration, the uncertain double, the
belligerent double, and the angry res
cue bid.”
Among the more conventional
signals, is the remark of one player
that he never holds any cards, to
which one of the others of the op
posite gender replies cleverly; “Un
lucky at cards, lucky at love.” The
player who first made the remark
can be counted on not to hold a
good hand. Or, “I really don’t know
what to do.” This indicates a mod
erately good hand. The person who
takes no part in the conversation
whatsoever can be counted on to
hold the best hand. And if this per
son happens to be an L.J.C. coed,
it is safe to assume that she holds
five honors or all four aces.
Women seem particularly in
clined toward coffeehousing, but
this may be excused on the grounds
that women are not usually good
bridge players and therefore need
every bit of help they can get. (Fe
male bridge players say the same
about males; they can write their
stories, and I’ll write mine.)
One play a girl made the other
day really got me. She was defend
ing and holding a bare king of
trump, and to make matters worse,
it was finessable. The queen of
trump was lying in the dummy for
all to see. Well, the player groaned
and said, “Probably got a hundred
honors in your hand too.” Ob
viously this leads declarer to believe
that the king of trump is in the
other hand. It’s simple when you
understand it. Every girl at Louis
burg who plays bridge understands
it. Recently one evening I over
heard this bidding sequence by four
girl bridge players. By the way it’s
abridged.
“The girls dorm is really going to
be nice. . . . Yes, I’ve got my
room all picked out. . . . Pass. . . .
Mine will be on the third floor. . . .
Yep, so you can see the boys’ dorm
better . . . Say, have you heard the
latest about Jan and Moe. . . .
Pass. . . . No, but I hope it’s good.
... I heard something about one
diamond them too. . . . Something
about them breaking up over the
holidays I think pass. . . . She really
got on him about the dance. . . .
Two diamonds. . . . Well, he’s nice
about some things. . . . Pass. . . .
Yeh, they all are when they want
something five diamonds. . . . Pass.
. . . You say that again pass. . . .
Lovely dummy, Alice. The dia
monds are solid, but I’ll lose a club
and two hearts. Down one, and
whose deal is it next?”
The solution is to play bridge as
a GAME. Nobody will look down
on you if you play badly. Play
bridge for fun and relaxation and
to take your mind off of school. Do
not play it to prove anything. Do
not get excited. Keep your temper.
Remember it is supposed to be
fun. Got it now?
All right, your deal.
No, no, clockwise.
Face down for heaven’s sake.
Face down!
Deal four hands, you dope!
Face down!!
Can’t you deal any faster?
Not on the floor—!!!
Well, of all the stupid, idiotic,
insipid. . . .
Togetherness .
Anywhere and any old time