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Black Ink Answer Man
How To Handle A Women Who Mean s B usiness
Editor's Note: After a two-year hia
tus, the highly acclaimed and much
discussed Black Ink Answer man,
that paragon of wisdom who knows
all answers to all problems at all
times, returns to shower the Ink’s
readership with newsworthy nug
gets of knowledge. Your questions
may be submitted to the Answer
Man c/o Black Ink, Suite B, Box
42, Carolina Union.
I am indeed delighted, dear read
ers to return to you in this tenth
anniversary edition of Black
Ink, that I might bemuse, bemoan,
and befuddle you as I reach into
my vast and voluminous mailbag
for more of your titillatingly tanta
lizing tidbits of your timely corres
pondence.
I pledge to answer any and all
letters that I receive, preferably in
person for female inquirers, and I
guarantee results!
Dear Answer Man: I am a freshman
who has been totally disillusioned
and puzzled by the way other stud
ents react toward me. They actually
laugh and point fingers as if I‘m a
comedian. Can you help?
I. Ben Abused.
r
Dear Answer Man. I have recently
met a beautiful junior transfer who
I know is the key to my happiness.
Problem is, she is so doggone dom
ineering that I don’t get a say in
anything we do. If she says,“Let’s
go to a party in Upendo,” then
It’s exactly what we do. And if she
says,“ Let’s go to a movie,” then we
will do that, too, no questions ask
ed.
What can I do to prevent her
from henpecking me like this?
Bertha’s Butt.
Dear Ben: You must be the dude
who wears wing-tipped shoes, yel
low socks and plaid shiirts. ..
Dear Butt: I’m ashamed of you. No
self-respecting Black man should al
low his woman to run over him as
you have. You are the king of your
castle, the sheik of your harem, the
chariman of your board. A
woman’s place is serving her beauti
ful black man.
Now here’s what you should
do. . . better yet, why don’t we
meet later and talk about it. My
chick does not like me giving
personal advice in the newspaper.
Dear Answer Man: What in the
world is wrong with those tired
graduate students in Craige?
They’re even tired when they try to
have a good time. I went to one of
the driest, dullest, most uninterest
ing parties I have ever seen in Craige
last week. Their parties just don’t
compare to Upendo jams at all.
Don’t you agree?
Young Anne Restless
Dear Restless. Yes, I totally agree.
After all, Craige students actually
TALK to each other at parties,
ever heard of that?
Dear Answer Man: Why is it that
everytime I pick up an edition of
Black Ink, there’s a picture of Ang
ela Davis in it? Does your staff have
some kind of perverse collective
crush on Angela?
Tired of Angela
Dear Tired: Man, don’t you talk
about my honey like that. . .
Dear Answer Man; I am a resident
of Hinton James who is quite ap
palled at the behavior of other male
residents who crowd into the bath
room window of our eighth floor
suite every night and stare (through
binoculars) at women undressing in
their rooms on the opposite wing.
Don’t you think their actions are
wrong?
I..C.U..
Dear I: Sure do. Best view is from
the ninth floor.
Dear Answer Man: Why in the
world did the Black Student Move
ment decide to have, of all things,
a watermelon feast during the Black
Pre-Orientation festivities? That’s
all white folks want to see — a
group of happy Blacks congregating
in the Pit and burying their faces in
watermelon. I agree wholeheartedly
with those freshmen who refrained
from stuffing themselves with that
distasteful fruit.
We’ve made too many gains to
embarrass ourselves in public like
that.
Sue Doe Black
Dear Sue: Gee, I thought the water
melon was pretty good. Besides,
who cares what white folks think?
They probably wanted some water
melon, too.
P.S. I like fried chicken. Should I
indulge only in private?
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