Newspapers / Gardner-Webb University Student Newspaper / Sept. 1, 1950, edition 1 / Page 4
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PAGE FOUR THE PILOT SEPTEMBER, 1950 Information from RAY (Professor) CARNES reshmen: I was a freshman last year, and lever got over it. Here is some nee to help you over some of shocks. You may think this arsh. but it will help you in the (that’s where you’ll get most he shocks). iw, first of all, don’t take just nybody's advice. If you do so, 3U’ll be running hither and yon -wo places you should stay away m). Contrary to public opinion, e house mother will not tuck you at night, and she will not like u any better even if you do wake :r rp when you come in to tell ir good night. Do I t roll ) the ills. It may be a little confuses the sophomores who )me in late. You may find that if sleep with your lights on it will 3 quieter. You see, others will link you are studying and, there- ire, make less noise. Of course, lis attracts bugs so you should not p with your mouth open. Don’t tinker with your lamp, ra- o, electric ukulele, et cetera, at ght. You might blow a fuse (how locking). Under no circumstances iculd you throw books at your late. This is destructive both i books and roommate. Should roommate ignore this advice, ■ particularly good defense is to np quickly into bed and roll up ' the mattress. Of course you IW that you should not quarrel 1 your roommate. One little quar- eads to another, and pretty soon have a room full of little quar- You may not like your roommate, ill that’s not grounds for di- If your roommate continues c you out, you may have to key. Be friendly, for you may , money some- Here’s another important thing, 'hen you fill out the line on your [amination paper marked “Date,” ) not put yes or no. If a profes- r should ask you to let him as st you with your homework, re- se him politely, but don’t hurt s feelings. Hand in your home work when- :■ possible. This helps to keep 3 the professor’s morale; also your ■ades. You can also please your pro- ir by making it a point to know imething about the course he ches you (study it, if neces- y). "When you cut a class, you eed a good reason. Here are couple that have been tried and •oved: "I forgot,” and "I didn’t ’ery time, but you can pick up a are as you go along. All firearms over 20MM must not ! kept in the dorms. They are gerous. Do not wander out of e dorms during study hours. This Drries the monitors. In your leisure oments. you may want to go to ! library and browse through a tory book or three. In physical education, the in- ructor will insist that you take e. If you tell him that you First Letter Home Howdy maw, how’s paw? The r 3 ye i bercause I fergot a few items that han’t of much values, and here they air; straw hat, and ye had bet ter send me mah shoes bercause most everybudy I have seen has been wearin’ a pair. Don’t bother to send me mah teeth brash bercause thars a big blackgum out’tother side of the dorm. Please send me that case of ’backer you were agoin’ to git me at Christmas. I have most nearly chawed the case I brought down here last week. By the way maw, I won’t to ask ye a question. Air the pink rezook- ies bloomin’ thar, and wuz the ground too wet fer paw to plow yesterday? Whose milkin’ old sook- sy? I’d shore I ke to see her. Han’t seed a cow since the moon changed from kraut picklin’ to liver can- JVIaw just let me tell you about ie college. Its called Gardner- Webb Mental Inst, of larnin’. They : it i its I like this place m’ghty mucn, but thars one thing here that I jest can’t stand, and its them thar smartelic teachers who think they know more than the students. And what makes me mad is the way some dad-burned people turn up their noses at mah new skunk hat. They told me I had to take a physical exam tomorrow. I don’t know what it is, but it must be a quiltin’ party er some’in bercause I hear everybody talkin’ about the big needles. I’m gettin’ a mite homesick, Maw. iNew Definitions I For Old Words 1. Atom—The first man. 2. Battery—Pitcher and catcher. 3. Beat—A Vegetable like a tur nip except you can get blood out of it. 4. Halo—Familiar greeting. 5. Boyle’s law—Like cole slaw, only cooked longer. 6. Density — Dumbness. 7. Dew—To act or perform. 8. Gas — Judge at random, con jecture. 9. Induction — Method of getting acquainted. 10. Iron—Heavy metal found in 11. Light Rays—Small salary increase. 12. Manuel — Common Spanish 13. Mechanical Advantage — The reason why fellows with cars have more dates than fellows without 14. Millimeter — A bug like a coen- timeter except it has more legs. 15. Molar solution — Listerlne. 16. Norman solution — The wrong answer. 17. Oscillation — Kissing. 18. Period — Bob-tailed comma. 19. Spectra — Female goast. 20. Watt — Will you repeat that remark? 21. Flask—Vessel whose influnce on the people has reached stagger ing proportions. 22. Corona — An officer who in quires into the matter of violent death. (Blue and Gray) Limricks If I hi d Zek h e. I’d every weekend to see you and Clara Bell. Maw, most of the boys been showin’ off picture of their gal friends. Hows about sendin’ me that picture of Clara Bell choppin’ Maw, I always wanted to live in a big town and now I’m doing it. This shore is a big’un. They have a picture show, a fire department, and cafe with a grave yard on one side and a hospital in front of it. BOILING SPRINGS CLEANERS PICK UP and DELIVERY SERVICE Cleaning Pressing Alterations SATISFACTION GIVEN NOT PROMISED Boiling Springs, N. C. A daring young salesman of Leeds Rashly swallowed six packets of There was a young person Bright Whose speed was much faster than light. She went out one day. In a relative way. And returned on the previous night. There was a faith-healer of Deal Who said, “Although pain isn’t real. If I sit on a i)in And it punctures my skin, I dislike what I fancy I feel. A dusty young man was a whiz With girls, and he tried kissing his. Said she, “Dat can’t be Less you’s stronger dan .ne— An’, honey, Ah reckons you is.” There once was a lady from Guam Who said, “Now the ocean’s so calm I will go for a swim.” She encountered a shark. Let us now sing the 90th Psalm. There was a young man who was bitten By twenty-two cats and a kitten Sighed he, “It is clear That my finish is near; No matter—I’ll die like a Briton! There is a wild tale about Nona, Who wore a black chiffon kimona. Don’t think for a minute There’s anything in it— That is, anything except Nona. A maiden who walked on the Corso Displayed over much of her torso. A crowd soon collected But no one objected, And some were in favor of more so. (The Best Jokes) Your little Youngun James Author . If you don’t get this lett just had your gall bladder removed, 'ill let you off for a few days. Another good excuse to use is to tell le instructor that every time you jnd over you faint. This is not ard to demonstrate, but you will ave to fall on your head a few Some of this advice remains ; proved', and until it is proven, remain, Your friend and mine, Ray Carnes Soph Elections To Be Held The sophomore class will elect its officers for the school year 50-51 on Thursday, Sept. 28th at 10:30 a.m. ; The following people have been i nominated for offices; For presi dent; Bryan Gillispie, and Andy Sealey. Pc dent; O. G. Morehead, Jimmy and Beth White. For sec. and treas.; Alice Lee Swann, Mavis Wortman, and Barbara Davenport. For facul ty advisor; Mr. Stacy, Mr. Mosley, and Mr. Dixon. The candidates were nominated by a nominating committee appoint- ’ ed by James Stamey, who was presi- : I dent of last year’s freshman class. Sara Blanton, Gene Cornwell, Robert Wright, Marion Lineburger, and Eugene Lowery were members of the nominating committee and Pat ‘ Thompson was chairman. Gastonia Vols Batter Bulldogs 19-2 Gardner-Webb open their sea son on a sour note in Gastonia last Saturday dropping their 1950 cur tain-raiser to the Gastonia Vols, a powerful Semi-Pro club, 19-2. Fred Snider, ex-Belmont Abbey great. Bill Fletcher, Charlie Collins, Ed York, Gene Carson, and Dahl Bum- gar.dner were the stars for the win ning Gastons. Gastonia’s first six-pointer came in the initial period when Bill ' Purkey threw 15 yards to Collins with i the scrappy end going the remain- j ing 40 yards for the score. Collins converted and the Vols led at the quarter 7-0. In the second stanza, Fletcher scooted over from the 15 to make it 13-0 at the half as the extra point ti'y was no good. Snider gallopped 15 yards to cli max a 55-yard drive in the fourth and final quarter to put the Semi- Pros ahead 19-0. Again the kick was no good. Ben Wall, a defensive Guard, broke through to block a Gaston punt, the ball rolling out of the end zone for the Bulldogs’ 2 points with about 3 minutes remain ing in the game. Gardner-Webb picked up 13 first downs and 144 yards by rushing to 8 first downs and 130 yards rush ing for the Vols. It was in the air, however, that the Gastons ate up the yardage. Gastonia completed 6 of 10 passes for 111 yards while the Bulldogs hit on 4 of 11 for 47. Backs Jack Holt, A1 Homsley, Bob Smith, and Milton Noblitt, and line men Wall, Julius Pinkston, Terry Jones, John Pierce, Joe Cole, and Roger Wright were best for G-w!
Gardner-Webb University Student Newspaper
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Sept. 1, 1950, edition 1
4
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